Rest

Today was a strange one for me. Everywhere I turned, I could not help but feel overwhelmed. When I went to work, I was overwhelmed by the final things we have to plan for the year, as well as a major event that we have in January. I was overwhelmed by a couple emails I got. I went to the library to drop off some books, and was overwhelmed by the selection that I didn't pick one out.* I was overwhelmed by a conversation with a friend. I was even overwhelmed by the idea of going to Germany, and the things yet to be planned for that. Then there are the things beyond 2009 that are not in my control. That again put on the pressure.

I stopped to remember that Mondays are usually my day off. I usually just spend time at home, doing the things I love to do. But since this last week was such a break, I felt that I should go into work any way. Yet when I did go in to work, I felt like I didn't get anything done.

When I came home mid-afternoon, I just fell on my bed and crashed. I had a few words with God first, begging Him to help me with perspective or something. Then I slept. In my sleep, somehow I felt so relieved by the fact that this is but one day. God doesn't ask us to live for eternity, He asks us to live these 12 hours well (thanks to Lauren Cowart for this comment).

It's a gentle reminder that I'm not Superman. It's a reminder that God's the one in control. Even Masha recently wrote to me along these lines:

"God will take care of us if we ask him and rely our destinies on Him. That makes so much sense to me..u know one day I was thinking ab that allot. And I noticed that we can't control our lives - God is controlling it. So it's better not to struggle with Him and just trust Him since He knows what is better for us!"

I'm currently reading Exodus, and I just passed the part about keeping the Sabbath day holy. Six days you work, the seventh you rest. Why? Because even God rested. In fact, I still spent time working over Thanksgiving "break," and Sundays are definitely a work day for me. Why did I think that I was capable of working today? I am only human.

Three sets of great verses go with this, and I'll admit now to doing a crash course concordance study on the word "rest."

"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask for where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." Jeremiah 6:16

"Remember the command that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: 'The LORD your God is giving you rest and has granted you this land.'" Joshua 1:13

"Come to [Jesus], all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

First of all, how much do you love the phrase, "rest for your souls"? God's not just talking about a peaceful time because there is no war or financial problem, He's talking about a peace that surpasses your circumstances.

He's talking about a path for your life that is best. Surrendering to that path (as the Israelites weren't so good at doing in the book of Joshua) is where you will find a rest on the inside. It does not come without more trials, and it also requires of us to study. Jesus says to "learn from me" and even the word yoke is in reference to the teachings (the yokes) of Spiritual teachers of the time. We are to sit at His feet and listen like Mary had done. We are to apply to our lives what we have learned (the essence of true learning, no?).

And it is just for the now. That is, not that we don't eagerly await the future where we are made perfect, but we strive toward the goal, the kingdom of heaven, here and now. To take up the cross daily implies that it is these 12 hours that are surrendered to Him. We can't do it alone. We can't do it out of our own will and desires. It's a paradox. As most of Christianity.

Hmm.. and now I'm overwhelmed by the inability to explain anything. I think I'll go eat and take another nap :).

*Granted, I wasn't going to pick one out any way, because of my vacation coming up. But I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to read next!