Garage sale went well. Made over $200, by God's grace. Fun story with the trumpet, but I'll get to that eventually. Also almost down to my traveling goal. Must. Get. Rid. Of. More.
Birthday for "Little" William. Best part for any Ward family birthday--crazy birthday singing!!
Saw Killers. It tried too hard to be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Failed, but worth a dollar.
Great conversation with Rachel H and Erin S. Gotta love Northwestern.
Lucas and Jessica are married. It was hot, yet the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens could never disappoint.
Almost halfway through season 5 of Lost. Ridiculous. Addicting. Can't wait to finish.
About to chop off my hairs.
Lunch with Porscha tomorrow!! Praying for her mom's swift recovery from surgery!
Orange pineapple banana juice is delicious.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Mmm what you wear
Perhaps it's just me that thinks this way, but I always feel that with international travel, I already have one strike against me for being American. I've heard too many stories of friends being yelled at, "You stu-peed Uh-meri-CAHN!" I'm very wary of the rolled eyes, or the cold shoulders when our group is too loud. For safety reasons, too, I want to be careful. I remember my team leader from the Russia trip who said that most Russians could just look at us and know where we were from. It's key, therefore, for me to be more of a chameleon.
Which is why, several months ago, I emailed my Argentinian team leader my concern particularly with clothes. I don't want to bring any more than what everyone else already has, I had decided. I don't want to bring too much; I also don't want to bring things I'm not willing to share. Additionally, I don't need as much any way. I had written down some personal goals at the beginning of this year, and one of them was the goal to reduce my life to two suitcases. I didn't know for sure at the time of the making of this list that I would be traveling as I am, but I had started getting rid of a lot then.
I still have too much. Nonetheless, the following list I received from my team leader helped me think more simplistic:
Clothing
2-3 long sleeve shirts
3-5 short sleeve shirts
2 pairs of shorts
4 pairs of jeans
1 casually-nice outfit
1-2 outfits that can get dirty
Enough underwear
Enough socks
Sneakers, Flip Flops, Flats (1 pair each)
Warm clothes, Pullovers, warm jacket
That's it. Seriously. Yes, for the two years. And yes, I'm thankful it uses the word "enough" for two of the items.
I've been practicing throughout this summer to live with only these items, but I'll admit right now, I have had more clothes usually. The shoe thing has worked out--I've only worn my tennis shoes or TOMs outside of flip flops (not to mention I'm a fan of being barefoot).
I have been blessed. I had a garage sale to encourage me to unload my clothes. I had already put in boxes before coming here what I was willing to sell, and I had gotten rid of at least two boxes of clothes since January (now that I mention that, I'm a little embarrassed that I had so much).
The other beautiful part of this story is that Peggy took me out shopping this week. I thought about what a God thing that she had decided to do so, "In order for you to have at least one pair of nice clothes," she had said. (1 casually-nice outfit: check!) What surprised me too, was that she insisted Banana Republic. I don't remember telling her, but I've told plenty of others that if I had the cash, all of my clothes would come from this store. Okay, I really like the jeans from Old Navy, but everything else.. Banana baby!
Not only that, but Peggy just so happens to be a whiz with the sewing machine. So, instead of buying any other clothes for myself for the trip, I can just have her make alterations on any of my ill-fitting clothing items.
The key is that it makes me even more aware of the clothing items I should keep. If it's so important for me to be unique with my clothes, then I simply need to make sure that the pieces I own are versatile. The dress, for instance, that I picked out, can be dressed down with flip flops, made fun with a scarf, or made super business-y with a blazer. So as not to go into too much detail, I will say that What Not to Wear has helped me think this through.
In the long run, what I wear isn't all that important. I'm a fan of color, but I should be thankful that I have clothes at all. I have enough to keep me cool in the summer, and warm in the winter. Many folk out there may not have the list I was given. Someone once reminded me of the flowers in the field that do not even work to be clothed so majestically. Why must I worry about what I will eat or wear? I'm worth more than those flowers in the sight of God. Just a thought.
Which is why, several months ago, I emailed my Argentinian team leader my concern particularly with clothes. I don't want to bring any more than what everyone else already has, I had decided. I don't want to bring too much; I also don't want to bring things I'm not willing to share. Additionally, I don't need as much any way. I had written down some personal goals at the beginning of this year, and one of them was the goal to reduce my life to two suitcases. I didn't know for sure at the time of the making of this list that I would be traveling as I am, but I had started getting rid of a lot then.
I still have too much. Nonetheless, the following list I received from my team leader helped me think more simplistic:
Clothing
2-3 long sleeve shirts
3-5 short sleeve shirts
2 pairs of shorts
4 pairs of jeans
1 casually-nice outfit
1-2 outfits that can get dirty
Enough underwear
Enough socks
Sneakers, Flip Flops, Flats (1 pair each)
Warm clothes, Pullovers, warm jacket
That's it. Seriously. Yes, for the two years. And yes, I'm thankful it uses the word "enough" for two of the items.
I've been practicing throughout this summer to live with only these items, but I'll admit right now, I have had more clothes usually. The shoe thing has worked out--I've only worn my tennis shoes or TOMs outside of flip flops (not to mention I'm a fan of being barefoot).
I have been blessed. I had a garage sale to encourage me to unload my clothes. I had already put in boxes before coming here what I was willing to sell, and I had gotten rid of at least two boxes of clothes since January (now that I mention that, I'm a little embarrassed that I had so much).
The other beautiful part of this story is that Peggy took me out shopping this week. I thought about what a God thing that she had decided to do so, "In order for you to have at least one pair of nice clothes," she had said. (1 casually-nice outfit: check!) What surprised me too, was that she insisted Banana Republic. I don't remember telling her, but I've told plenty of others that if I had the cash, all of my clothes would come from this store. Okay, I really like the jeans from Old Navy, but everything else.. Banana baby!
Not only that, but Peggy just so happens to be a whiz with the sewing machine. So, instead of buying any other clothes for myself for the trip, I can just have her make alterations on any of my ill-fitting clothing items.
The key is that it makes me even more aware of the clothing items I should keep. If it's so important for me to be unique with my clothes, then I simply need to make sure that the pieces I own are versatile. The dress, for instance, that I picked out, can be dressed down with flip flops, made fun with a scarf, or made super business-y with a blazer. So as not to go into too much detail, I will say that What Not to Wear has helped me think this through.
In the long run, what I wear isn't all that important. I'm a fan of color, but I should be thankful that I have clothes at all. I have enough to keep me cool in the summer, and warm in the winter. Many folk out there may not have the list I was given. Someone once reminded me of the flowers in the field that do not even work to be clothed so majestically. Why must I worry about what I will eat or wear? I'm worth more than those flowers in the sight of God. Just a thought.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Because who knows
I once played video games with a kid named Orrin. Orrin Parker. He's from middle-of-nowhere Nevada known as Walker Lake. I was in the area for a week, helping out with Vacation Bible School, and I was blessed to spend my first evening in town having dinner with his family. You should have seen how wide his eyes got when I told him my mom worked for GameStop.
For some reason, he didn't think you could be a Christian and play video games. To this day, I don't know where he got that reasoning, but I said that as long as video games doesn't come before God in his life, then it was okay. And sure, you gotta be careful what kind of games you play, but that was another conversation for another day.
So we spent the next hour playing Halo (the original), and he continued to be blown away at the fact a girl knew how to play this game. I guess it was too much for his 12 year old self to handle. I took some time to tell him what Jesus meant to me after we played. I spent the weeks after praying for his heart.
I tell this story because my heart was rejuvenated with the necessity of evangelism in all sorts of forms. This past Sunday, two women gave their stories about noticing God in their lives. They are former Muslims. Their stories reveal the tragedy of the Islamic faith as it does not allow women to be who God created them to be. Instead, they are oppressed, and forced into decisions that ruin their lives.
These women told of the long journey to come to an understanding of who Jesus really was. After all, Muslims believe that Jesus was only a good prophet, and that in his place, another man, most likely Judas, was murdered on the cross.
And during their stories, I could not help but think of Shaheen. Tears fell from my eyes as I thought about how she does not know the Lord, but that it didn't mean He was not pursuing her. I prayed for another dream, but also for a person. A real life person to come to her and tell her about Jesus!
A few weeks after I returned from Nevada, I got a home-made card in the mail from Orrin's mom. She thanked me for spending time with Orrin, and wanted to let me know that He decided to put his faith in Jesus a couple weeks after I had left.
As if that weren't enough, I think it was about a year later I got an email from someone who was praying for my trip to Nevada. Apparently, he had been forwarding my prayer request emails to his father, who wasn't a believer. He emailed me to let me know that because of my experiences, as well as present circumstances, his father had decided to believe as well!
I am not meant to change the world. That is God's business. As Mother Theresa said, "I can do no great thing, only small things with great love." Who knows what your words and your actions mean to a person. I don't think it's an accident that you ran into her, or sat next to him. I can't do it all, but I have been given the chance to pray to the God who can. I'm also not there right now with Orrin, or Shaheen, or my friend's dad. He is.
Please, pray with me.
For some reason, he didn't think you could be a Christian and play video games. To this day, I don't know where he got that reasoning, but I said that as long as video games doesn't come before God in his life, then it was okay. And sure, you gotta be careful what kind of games you play, but that was another conversation for another day.
So we spent the next hour playing Halo (the original), and he continued to be blown away at the fact a girl knew how to play this game. I guess it was too much for his 12 year old self to handle. I took some time to tell him what Jesus meant to me after we played. I spent the weeks after praying for his heart.
I tell this story because my heart was rejuvenated with the necessity of evangelism in all sorts of forms. This past Sunday, two women gave their stories about noticing God in their lives. They are former Muslims. Their stories reveal the tragedy of the Islamic faith as it does not allow women to be who God created them to be. Instead, they are oppressed, and forced into decisions that ruin their lives.
These women told of the long journey to come to an understanding of who Jesus really was. After all, Muslims believe that Jesus was only a good prophet, and that in his place, another man, most likely Judas, was murdered on the cross.
And during their stories, I could not help but think of Shaheen. Tears fell from my eyes as I thought about how she does not know the Lord, but that it didn't mean He was not pursuing her. I prayed for another dream, but also for a person. A real life person to come to her and tell her about Jesus!
A few weeks after I returned from Nevada, I got a home-made card in the mail from Orrin's mom. She thanked me for spending time with Orrin, and wanted to let me know that He decided to put his faith in Jesus a couple weeks after I had left.
As if that weren't enough, I think it was about a year later I got an email from someone who was praying for my trip to Nevada. Apparently, he had been forwarding my prayer request emails to his father, who wasn't a believer. He emailed me to let me know that because of my experiences, as well as present circumstances, his father had decided to believe as well!
I am not meant to change the world. That is God's business. As Mother Theresa said, "I can do no great thing, only small things with great love." Who knows what your words and your actions mean to a person. I don't think it's an accident that you ran into her, or sat next to him. I can't do it all, but I have been given the chance to pray to the God who can. I'm also not there right now with Orrin, or Shaheen, or my friend's dad. He is.
Please, pray with me.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Consequences
It's interesting because I'm not very good at chess.
I love the game, but I prefer playing it fast. I don't think much about my moves, and I like to challenge the other player to do the same. "Just play," I tell them. My few memorable moments include when Chris would beat me mercilessly on the chess set I bought with grandma's Christmas money; or the time James almost beat Matt in 4 moves. I love watching people play on the streets, especially when they have a timer. I'll never forget the guy who stood up from his chair, knowing he had lost, even though it was several moves away.
What makes that game best is when you can see ahead of the next move.
I think of these characters in the show Lost and I think about the different moves that brought them to the island. Beyond that, their life experiences cause them to make the decisions they do. Most of them are ridden with guilt, even more of them have trust issues. They interact with each other (and the "Others") in pretty foolish ways.
There are times we ask God for things because we think it's a great next move, but we haven't looked much beyond that. In many cases, if God were to give us what we ask, someone else gets hurt. Tolstoy wrote a short story about a woman who was angry because God took away her child. She was immediately given a glimpse of what his life would have been like, and she realizes that the world was saved by his death. That he was saved too, by getting to die in his innocence.
I thank God that He doesn't listen to me very often when it comes to the things I want. Nonetheless, it is still difficult to discern what I'm supposed to ask for. What exactly is my life supposed to look like, then?
Maybe that's what Sarah was thinking when she offered Hagar to her husband.
It's scary to think of the consequences, when everything is said and done. To look back and see, "Oh, that's what brought me here."
I play chess rather quickly, but I hate living life that way. If I don't stop to think what I've done, or what I'm doing, I might turn into something ugly and/or foolish. Perhaps having begun Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis also makes me think this way. I don't want to be so far gone that there is no hope in turning back.
On the one hand, I think God's grace is bigger than that and that there is always hope. But on the other, it's so hard to watch, metaphorically speaking, dogs returning to their own vomit. To know that I too, am just one or two decisions away from destroying myself. Praise God for being ever-present. I pray I keep listening, keep wanting to listen. Oh to have the patience to see the twelve moves played out!
I love the game, but I prefer playing it fast. I don't think much about my moves, and I like to challenge the other player to do the same. "Just play," I tell them. My few memorable moments include when Chris would beat me mercilessly on the chess set I bought with grandma's Christmas money; or the time James almost beat Matt in 4 moves. I love watching people play on the streets, especially when they have a timer. I'll never forget the guy who stood up from his chair, knowing he had lost, even though it was several moves away.
What makes that game best is when you can see ahead of the next move.
"It's twelve moves away, but it's there. You've got him."
I think of these characters in the show Lost and I think about the different moves that brought them to the island. Beyond that, their life experiences cause them to make the decisions they do. Most of them are ridden with guilt, even more of them have trust issues. They interact with each other (and the "Others") in pretty foolish ways.
There are times we ask God for things because we think it's a great next move, but we haven't looked much beyond that. In many cases, if God were to give us what we ask, someone else gets hurt. Tolstoy wrote a short story about a woman who was angry because God took away her child. She was immediately given a glimpse of what his life would have been like, and she realizes that the world was saved by his death. That he was saved too, by getting to die in his innocence.
I thank God that He doesn't listen to me very often when it comes to the things I want. Nonetheless, it is still difficult to discern what I'm supposed to ask for. What exactly is my life supposed to look like, then?
Maybe that's what Sarah was thinking when she offered Hagar to her husband.
It's scary to think of the consequences, when everything is said and done. To look back and see, "Oh, that's what brought me here."
I play chess rather quickly, but I hate living life that way. If I don't stop to think what I've done, or what I'm doing, I might turn into something ugly and/or foolish. Perhaps having begun Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis also makes me think this way. I don't want to be so far gone that there is no hope in turning back.
On the one hand, I think God's grace is bigger than that and that there is always hope. But on the other, it's so hard to watch, metaphorically speaking, dogs returning to their own vomit. To know that I too, am just one or two decisions away from destroying myself. Praise God for being ever-present. I pray I keep listening, keep wanting to listen. Oh to have the patience to see the twelve moves played out!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Run in with nature
I've been feeding the ducks at the local pond lately. Today I had a bunch of leftover hot dog buns that I, and sharing with some little ones who were playing at the park, fed to our winged friends. Little ducklings came along too, so I made sure they got some. Gotta be honest to say I got freaked out by the geese who had horns on their bills coming to get some of the bread. One of them kept squealing at me, and I think he (she?) thought it was cute. Just. Don't. Make. Eye. Contact...
The coolest part was when I got the Aflac ducks (you know, the white feathered ones?) super close to me. I notice they're more fearless. Any way, similar to the fish in Grand Cayman, they got so close, they started pecking at my toes thinking it was bread too. It didn't hurt. It tickled actually. But I also figured that was probably my sign to go, so I did.
On my runs over the past weeks, I've found a route along Morris and 3040. Last week, I looked down at one point only to see a snake! And then a little bit later to see a frog! The frog wasn't as scary to me, as I think I fall more along the lines of Indiana Jones' fear. But then the next day, I noticed the exact same two creatures still in the path, so I realized there really wasn't anything to be afraid of.
Today was a first. I took a longer route than normal and BAM!!! Spider web to the face!! It must have been spun between the trees. All I know is it made me shriek and I did what I could to get it off my face, and I brushed through my hair in hopes no spiders found a new nest! Yikes!
The coolest part was when I got the Aflac ducks (you know, the white feathered ones?) super close to me. I notice they're more fearless. Any way, similar to the fish in Grand Cayman, they got so close, they started pecking at my toes thinking it was bread too. It didn't hurt. It tickled actually. But I also figured that was probably my sign to go, so I did.
On my runs over the past weeks, I've found a route along Morris and 3040. Last week, I looked down at one point only to see a snake! And then a little bit later to see a frog! The frog wasn't as scary to me, as I think I fall more along the lines of Indiana Jones' fear. But then the next day, I noticed the exact same two creatures still in the path, so I realized there really wasn't anything to be afraid of.
Today was a first. I took a longer route than normal and BAM!!! Spider web to the face!! It must have been spun between the trees. All I know is it made me shriek and I did what I could to get it off my face, and I brushed through my hair in hopes no spiders found a new nest! Yikes!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
At least 2
I've decided that every summer there must be at least two weddings for me to attend. Something about the talk of covenant love and then all the dancing just makes me all warm inside.
The first for this summer was Matt and Autumn's wedding held at the Adolphus hotel in Dallas. It was beautiful, and of course with a little sass, as the brothers Pinckard all wore their hair in the traditional mohawk style. hehe. Well, and the amazing retro yet vintage wedding dress sported by the beautiful Autumn! Wowza.
I met up with so many people! And getting to bring Nolan along gave me a LOT more conversation starters:
"No. I'm not married."
"No. This isn't MY kid."
My favorite was probably with Lucas as at one point I had let Lauren Tucker hold Nolan while I grabbed something from the diaper bag. Lucas shouted, "Sharayah!" Hug. Then me, "I'm sorry, I have to find my baby."
"YOURS!?!"
"I mean, ah! My nephew."
It was wonderful seeing everyone. I mean just about everyone too. I still have yet to see the Lunas, but I can now include the Proctors, the Barclays, the Pinckards (naturally), Alisha Avara, Samariah and Andrea, the Saathoffs, the Adams (as in Patricia and Ken), the rest of the Bakers and Jacksons, etc. etc. Another group that could be listed in attendance I had already seen at the 4th of July celebration. In conclusion--so fun!!
Perhaps the best moment, other than everyone wanting to hold my precious nephew (understandably so), was the cupid shuffle. I brought Nolan along with me to the dance floor, and he fell asleep to all the rocking. Silly boy!!
Unfortunately, having to take care of a kid means I didn't get to snap any photos. Hopefully when the pictures are put up, I'll include one that made me laugh. But shhh, I can't spoil it!!
The first for this summer was Matt and Autumn's wedding held at the Adolphus hotel in Dallas. It was beautiful, and of course with a little sass, as the brothers Pinckard all wore their hair in the traditional mohawk style. hehe. Well, and the amazing retro yet vintage wedding dress sported by the beautiful Autumn! Wowza.
I met up with so many people! And getting to bring Nolan along gave me a LOT more conversation starters:
"No. I'm not married."
"No. This isn't MY kid."
My favorite was probably with Lucas as at one point I had let Lauren Tucker hold Nolan while I grabbed something from the diaper bag. Lucas shouted, "Sharayah!" Hug. Then me, "I'm sorry, I have to find my baby."
"YOURS!?!"
"I mean, ah! My nephew."
It was wonderful seeing everyone. I mean just about everyone too. I still have yet to see the Lunas, but I can now include the Proctors, the Barclays, the Pinckards (naturally), Alisha Avara, Samariah and Andrea, the Saathoffs, the Adams (as in Patricia and Ken), the rest of the Bakers and Jacksons, etc. etc. Another group that could be listed in attendance I had already seen at the 4th of July celebration. In conclusion--so fun!!
Perhaps the best moment, other than everyone wanting to hold my precious nephew (understandably so), was the cupid shuffle. I brought Nolan along with me to the dance floor, and he fell asleep to all the rocking. Silly boy!!
Unfortunately, having to take care of a kid means I didn't get to snap any photos. Hopefully when the pictures are put up, I'll include one that made me laugh. But shhh, I can't spoil it!!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A little Lost
I had been contemplating watching all the episodes of that strange tv show I kept hearing about from others. Janna insisted I do so, saying there were so many faith messages, that I couldn't miss out.
So I started last night. I'm already 7 episodes into the first season (Don't worry, I still did something with my day). When I first heard the music, something inside me stirred. And then the name J.J. Abrams popped onto the screen as one of the head producers and writers and I knew I was in for a treat! (He's the guy who directed Star Trek: The Future Begins).
I've braced myself for the times when I won't know what's going on; I've been properly warned about how frustrating seasons 3 and 4 are (must remember the writers' strike at the time). With that said, I'm ready for a ride.
And so far, well pleased. I'm enjoying the storytelling, and the wide variety of characters. My favorite is probably Charlie, and that's not just because my peluche pinguino is named so, but it does help. I have a feeling that the line between good and bad characters is coming soon, so I hold on to my favorite loosely.
So I started last night. I'm already 7 episodes into the first season (Don't worry, I still did something with my day). When I first heard the music, something inside me stirred. And then the name J.J. Abrams popped onto the screen as one of the head producers and writers and I knew I was in for a treat! (He's the guy who directed Star Trek: The Future Begins).
I've braced myself for the times when I won't know what's going on; I've been properly warned about how frustrating seasons 3 and 4 are (must remember the writers' strike at the time). With that said, I'm ready for a ride.
And so far, well pleased. I'm enjoying the storytelling, and the wide variety of characters. My favorite is probably Charlie, and that's not just because my peluche pinguino is named so, but it does help. I have a feeling that the line between good and bad characters is coming soon, so I hold on to my favorite loosely.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Living for that moment
Another week has ended (though I guess not officially), and it brings me to only 52 days until Argentinian life begins. Only 27 days until all the insane traveling kicks off. Only 2 days until I get to hang out with Nolan! :D
This week I learned a lot. And I'll include my only recommended scene from the movie The Back Up Plan which I saw with my sister-in-law.
Anthony Anderson (paraphrased): Having kids is kind of like this: it's REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD.. and then there's this beautiful moment--
Alex O'Laughlin: --that makes it all worthwhile?
Anthony: Naw man. But it's a great moment. And after that it's REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD!!! And then you have another great moment.
Welcome to my life this week. I'm optimistic about how it went, though I won't deny it was tough. I've mentioned a lot of what I wished for before, but I'll add something else about what was watched on tv/movies. For this last day, I had a moment where I just prayed with them. I asked God to help us to love each other well, and to encourage each other. Soon after the prayer I made the rule where there would be no more physical fighting, no more using the words "Shut up" and no more calling each other names for the rest of the day. The punishment was time out, for which the time in the corner during time out would increase throughout the day. As a reward, I took them to a movie. A funny movie, don't get me wrong, but one in which these three things happened:
-The "minions" kept hitting each other (hint, hint)
-They called each other idiots.
- They said "shut up."
Talk about frustrating. I remember talking with Liz about the movie Up, and how the themes in that movie were not exactly younger generation appropriate at times. She mentioned how scary it would be to have your hero as a young kid turn out to be the enemy, and I realized I had never thought of it that way.
Things change when there's a kid involved.
Got to talk with Catie (Marshalek) Skogen tonight about some of this, as she too has a bun in the oven (hooray!). She realized how tight of a rein she and her husband will need to place on her tongue when their little girl comes into the world.
This week I learned a lot. And I'll include my only recommended scene from the movie The Back Up Plan which I saw with my sister-in-law.
Anthony Anderson (paraphrased): Having kids is kind of like this: it's REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD.. and then there's this beautiful moment--Alex O'Laughlin: --that makes it all worthwhile?
Anthony: Naw man. But it's a great moment. And after that it's REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD!!! And then you have another great moment.
Welcome to my life this week. I'm optimistic about how it went, though I won't deny it was tough. I've mentioned a lot of what I wished for before, but I'll add something else about what was watched on tv/movies. For this last day, I had a moment where I just prayed with them. I asked God to help us to love each other well, and to encourage each other. Soon after the prayer I made the rule where there would be no more physical fighting, no more using the words "Shut up" and no more calling each other names for the rest of the day. The punishment was time out, for which the time in the corner during time out would increase throughout the day. As a reward, I took them to a movie. A funny movie, don't get me wrong, but one in which these three things happened:
-The "minions" kept hitting each other (hint, hint)
-They called each other idiots.
- They said "shut up."
Talk about frustrating. I remember talking with Liz about the movie Up, and how the themes in that movie were not exactly younger generation appropriate at times. She mentioned how scary it would be to have your hero as a young kid turn out to be the enemy, and I realized I had never thought of it that way.
Things change when there's a kid involved.
Got to talk with Catie (Marshalek) Skogen tonight about some of this, as she too has a bun in the oven (hooray!). She realized how tight of a rein she and her husband will need to place on her tongue when their little girl comes into the world.
And it's not like kids pick up on all these things, but we must be careful about what they do. I was always impressed with Yolanda for protecting Noah from certain tv shows because of their teenager themes. While most kids are aiming to be teenagers, it's much more important that they be kids. You only get to be so once!
Talking with Catie was refreshing, as well as a short 3-mile run to end the day. Looking forward to resting tomorrow.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I hate traffic
I have a friend that's very intuitive. She noticed that I haven't been writing in my blog lately. That's saying a lot, as it's not even been a week. Yet, when I leave for the field, I want to be sure that I'm consistent so that it will not be too difficult of a transition. Plus, I read this great book, or rather the introduction to a great book, that talked about the reason that we write things down. It has a lot to do with defining how you're feeling, but then also lashing out on paper versus a person.
And don't you worry, I have a separate, secret notebook for the lashing out thing. I won't talk through my frustrations about folk on this.
What? I'm a youth worker, not a saint.
I will bring up the main thing that's been on my mind this week. It goes back to a topic I always have on the back burner. The concept is camp ministry. The short term, the, how can you make a difference in someone's life slash how can you expect a difference in your life after only a week, thing.
Because I'm babysitting these kids this week, and most of it just doesn't feel right. It's so difficult to watch kids react with violence. I wonder if it's the only way they can get attention. Or I wonder if fighting is all they know to get their way (which for the record, doesn't work with me).
Then there are other things I see, such as the standard of living for these guys. I wish they had a father. I wish that they had a working fridge and dishwasher. I washed the dishes by hand today, which isn't the issue. It's that they had to be washed after they came out of the dishwasher. So maybe they don't need a dishwasher? I've seen that work before.
Yet, there's another rub. All the t.v.! I wish they had more than one board game (we've already played that!), and more group games that didn't require a video console. But it's too hot to play outside (when one of them has asthma). They have this Nerf sword.. haha.. the concept of a Nerf sword has boggled my mind this whole week. The thing doesn't cut, but can sure hurt if you wield it correctly.
The tv shows are all about boys and girls liking each other. I guess I get that when you're in middle school (which even then is too young), but these kids haven't even left elementary school! Why do certain kids have to grow up too fast?
All this to say that I only have a week. Now, I only have 10 hours left. We've spent some time at the library, but I'm the one doing most of the reading. I did get to talk through the punishment of timeout with one of the kids. And I got to explain the story of Zaccheus with another. Little gems, which I know matter, but still are so small.
It's like that metaphor of fixing a stab wound to the heart with a bandaid. It tries to cover up the much bigger problem at hand. Namely, that someone is gonna die.
What do I do???
And don't you worry, I have a separate, secret notebook for the lashing out thing. I won't talk through my frustrations about folk on this.
What? I'm a youth worker, not a saint.
I will bring up the main thing that's been on my mind this week. It goes back to a topic I always have on the back burner. The concept is camp ministry. The short term, the, how can you make a difference in someone's life slash how can you expect a difference in your life after only a week, thing.
Because I'm babysitting these kids this week, and most of it just doesn't feel right. It's so difficult to watch kids react with violence. I wonder if it's the only way they can get attention. Or I wonder if fighting is all they know to get their way (which for the record, doesn't work with me).
Then there are other things I see, such as the standard of living for these guys. I wish they had a father. I wish that they had a working fridge and dishwasher. I washed the dishes by hand today, which isn't the issue. It's that they had to be washed after they came out of the dishwasher. So maybe they don't need a dishwasher? I've seen that work before.
Yet, there's another rub. All the t.v.! I wish they had more than one board game (we've already played that!), and more group games that didn't require a video console. But it's too hot to play outside (when one of them has asthma). They have this Nerf sword.. haha.. the concept of a Nerf sword has boggled my mind this whole week. The thing doesn't cut, but can sure hurt if you wield it correctly.
The tv shows are all about boys and girls liking each other. I guess I get that when you're in middle school (which even then is too young), but these kids haven't even left elementary school! Why do certain kids have to grow up too fast?
All this to say that I only have a week. Now, I only have 10 hours left. We've spent some time at the library, but I'm the one doing most of the reading. I did get to talk through the punishment of timeout with one of the kids. And I got to explain the story of Zaccheus with another. Little gems, which I know matter, but still are so small.
It's like that metaphor of fixing a stab wound to the heart with a bandaid. It tries to cover up the much bigger problem at hand. Namely, that someone is gonna die.
What do I do???
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Another one
To include another important detail, I got to meet with a friend from Northwestern who's headed out for Haiti this coming week. Please be in prayer for our sister Ashley as she helps with Earthquake damage as well as college-focused ministry for the next three weeks! I'm excited to get back in touch with her after that time (before I leave) to hear the stories! I promise to share them too.Pictured above however, is not Ashley, but Porscha!! We go way back. As in since 1st grade. When I reminded her of this fact, she said, "Dang, we're old!" But I just said, "Shh! No one has to know!!" hehe
We met at Jason's Deli where we got to catch up on all of the travels thus far in our lives. She's been to Rome, and studied abroad in Australia for a semester. The stories are hilarious, as well as beautiful. She talked of surfing off the coast of Aussie land, and it caused me to become more excited for my chance to surf off the coast of Ireland with Ariel in a month!! Wooo!!
What I also loved about catching up is seeing her story unfold. She talked of not being ready for marriage, but that opportunities in her life to serve others and become less selfish kept popping up for her. I listened in awe as she told the story of taking care of some elderly couples, and I was convicted of my need to reach out to more people who aren't able to help themselves. What was it said in James chapter 1?
Porscha was kind enough to let me have four tickets to the baseball game Thursday night, and this picture is of us after the game. She warms up the outfielders, you see, so we (me, Terra and Billy) got great seats. Unfortunately, however, Rangers lost to the worst team in baseball. C'mon boys!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Unnecessary details
I am a story teller. In fact, I wonder if it's one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit that just doesn't happen to be listed. And by stories, I don't mean lies or tall tales. I mean that there are important events in our lives that need to be told well. You know those annoying people who say, "No!!! You're not telling it right!!"?That's me.
And sometimes I include too many details. But for me, the details make the story.
I warn you that the story you're about to read is highly personal, and may mean nothing to you. It's just that the details matter. And to quote Richard quoting me, "I'm just sayin'."
The girl in the picture with me, the picture where I kind of look like I'm bald. The picture where I'm smiling funny--the girl is named Ashley. We met at Mardel, where we both worked for a ridiculously long time making very little money. We loved it mainly because we got to goof off a lot. I loved it because I got to borrow a lot of the Philip Yancey and Donald Miller books, read them, and then return them to the shelf.
Ashley always had spunk. That's what I'll call it. Others might call it sass. I would always retort with something off the wall though, and we would just laugh about it. We also shared a lot of embarrassing stories from our times working. Such as the time she fell on her face when trying to point out a book with her toe to a customer. In her defense, it was crazy to have such low shelves. Or the time I jumped into the trash compactor for a "wedding" ring. Or the time I fell off the scaffolding and I was more mad that nobody saw me to laugh than was I mad at actually falling.
Or the time I thought a customer was asking for the books about sex, but she was really asking for the Homeschooling program called Saxon.
Thinking back, maybe it was really me who had the embarrassing stories.
We also hung out together outside of work. She remembered a lot more of the details than I was expecting when we met for lunch the other day. She remembered one of my ex-boyfriends to which I responded, "Yeeeeahh.. not a shining moment for me." She also remembered our Mondays at Wendy's, which is why we met at Wendy's this time too. Should have included my Frosty cup in the picture! D'oh!
Ashley was the person I went on my first ever, without adults road trip. We talked about how fun that was. With the guy who told us about his friend who got hit by lightning while horseback riding. We were in the midst of horseback riding at the time, so you know.. comforting. And from there we launched into what has been happening in our lives ever since.
Mainly, what God has been showing us. There are things about us still very much the same. I kept thinking about how silly I still am, with the way I think about kids. She has two now, and talked about what it's like to be a mom. We talked about changing diapers, as I've done a few more these days with Nolan. We laughed at all that comes with that. I got to ask her what she's learned about herself now, as a married woman for five years. Even as she talked about what God's taught, I could sense the change.
It gives me goosebumps to talk to the ones who do grow up. To see how she's been pliable to God's will for her life. How she's become more unselfish in the way she makes decisions. To see her still have a little bit of that sass, but to also see how humbled she's been by being in a covenant relationship with her husband Steven. I'm looking forward to staying in touch with this one, even if it's just once every few years. We've had a lot of laughs together, and I really admire who she is, who she will be.
Plus, we pulled off one of the best pranks ever, and I will never forget it!!! I'm just sayin'.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Ultimate thoughts
Haha. No, I'm not being pretentious. It's not as though I'm saying, "Dude!" (which I'm not allowed to call my dad any way), "my thoughts are like.. the ultimate." sigh.
I just got back from a pick up game of ultimate frisbee. Literally, I drove away smiling because of how much fun that was. I've been playing almost every Monday since I got back (last week it was raining), and I have met so many people who love the game, and aren't half bad either. I'm not too good, as I only played every now and then in college, and semi weekly in Colorado. Oh how I miss Colorado's soft grass, on which we would always play barefoot. Any who..
Today was a fun nine on nine game. Had a few assists for goal, and in general got some good passes to me. Not bad for being one of two girls on the field. I praise God that they included me a few times. Plus, I didn't get my run in for the day, so I made it mostly about being the first down the field every time.
In other news, had some fun feeding the ducks at the nearby pond. Found a turtle, but couldn't decide what to name him. Swung on the swing set (naturally). Read the latest from the Ammerman library, The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom. Suddenly contemplating a short stop to a certain watch shop in Haarlem, Netherlands!
Oh, and to round off the evening, finished disc one of LOTR. Just to remind myself that I'm a nerd, and that if Kendra weren't in Alaska, I'd demand she drop by!
I just got back from a pick up game of ultimate frisbee. Literally, I drove away smiling because of how much fun that was. I've been playing almost every Monday since I got back (last week it was raining), and I have met so many people who love the game, and aren't half bad either. I'm not too good, as I only played every now and then in college, and semi weekly in Colorado. Oh how I miss Colorado's soft grass, on which we would always play barefoot. Any who..
Today was a fun nine on nine game. Had a few assists for goal, and in general got some good passes to me. Not bad for being one of two girls on the field. I praise God that they included me a few times. Plus, I didn't get my run in for the day, so I made it mostly about being the first down the field every time.
In other news, had some fun feeding the ducks at the nearby pond. Found a turtle, but couldn't decide what to name him. Swung on the swing set (naturally). Read the latest from the Ammerman library, The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom. Suddenly contemplating a short stop to a certain watch shop in Haarlem, Netherlands!
Oh, and to round off the evening, finished disc one of LOTR. Just to remind myself that I'm a nerd, and that if Kendra weren't in Alaska, I'd demand she drop by!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Choo
What was it he said?
It was on the Denver Mission Trip. This older gentleman was to be our guide for a prayer walk down the infamous Colfax street. We would stop at places like Planned Parenthood (got yelled at by a passerby on that one), a gay bar, some nude dance bar, adult stores, and finally, Denver's capitol, in order to pray. We stopped at a couple dumpsters, and the man told us of his former life as a dumpster diver. Doing whatever he could to get by. Oh! That's what he said!
"It's not abow choo."
Translation: the world is not revolving around us. Louie Giglio said it well in a video we watched this morning of his sermon about hope--God's got a huge mosaic story going on here. It would be unfair to focus on a single square piece.
Funny. Just this morning I was thinking about why we like the early stages of a romantic relationship. In the midst of them, we get deceived into thinking that it IS all about you and me. About the story of how we met; about the cute things we are doing for each other. Etc. We talk about, think about, and dream about the relationship and all it can be or is.
I started to wonder if the reason we, or to get personal, I, like the beginnings of a relationship brewing is because it is the moment that I finally feel like God is paying attention to me. Hard to confess, but I must say I can believe this lie. At that moment, grace is turned on it's head and I become that stupid Pharisee who feels like she's deserved the "gift" of relationship; so thankful she is not like that sinner in the back beating his chest and declaring, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!"
Which makes me think about how next time can be different. Or to be content, to be truly satisfied, if there is no next time.
Ha! Suddenly reminded of a snippet I saw of Star Wars: Episode 1 where Qui-Gon Jinn tells Obi-Wan to not be caught up in the future at the expense of fully living the present moment. Those jedis always have wise things to say!
In all seriousness, I have been personally challenged to remember others more than myself. To look up, as it were, instead of looking in. Because it's not about choo, or me, for that matter. It's about how truly incredible God is, and how He has this good, pleasing, and perfect plan for our lives.
To think of when God tells Abraham to look to the heavens. Or the countless times David does so in the Psalms. How in their moments of confusion or pain, when they looked to the Creator, peace came.
To remember that Abraham and David were just regular people that allowed God to work through them so that they weren't just successful, but significant. To see how the choices they made, particularly the ones where they choose to obey God, have a lasting impact on our world today. Can I get an amen?
The man leading the prayer walk was encouraging us to pray more for others. I'm reading a book about how it's not important just to be good, but to do good. I'm challenged to let my prayer and my actions walk hand in hand for the sake of the gospel. The good news:
I apologize for the horrible grammar, as always, included in this post. I will not apologize if any of these words made you think, or to live differently. Or even if they made you angry.
It was on the Denver Mission Trip. This older gentleman was to be our guide for a prayer walk down the infamous Colfax street. We would stop at places like Planned Parenthood (got yelled at by a passerby on that one), a gay bar, some nude dance bar, adult stores, and finally, Denver's capitol, in order to pray. We stopped at a couple dumpsters, and the man told us of his former life as a dumpster diver. Doing whatever he could to get by. Oh! That's what he said!
"It's not abow choo."
Translation: the world is not revolving around us. Louie Giglio said it well in a video we watched this morning of his sermon about hope--God's got a huge mosaic story going on here. It would be unfair to focus on a single square piece.
Funny. Just this morning I was thinking about why we like the early stages of a romantic relationship. In the midst of them, we get deceived into thinking that it IS all about you and me. About the story of how we met; about the cute things we are doing for each other. Etc. We talk about, think about, and dream about the relationship and all it can be or is.
I started to wonder if the reason we, or to get personal, I, like the beginnings of a relationship brewing is because it is the moment that I finally feel like God is paying attention to me. Hard to confess, but I must say I can believe this lie. At that moment, grace is turned on it's head and I become that stupid Pharisee who feels like she's deserved the "gift" of relationship; so thankful she is not like that sinner in the back beating his chest and declaring, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!"
Which makes me think about how next time can be different. Or to be content, to be truly satisfied, if there is no next time.
Ha! Suddenly reminded of a snippet I saw of Star Wars: Episode 1 where Qui-Gon Jinn tells Obi-Wan to not be caught up in the future at the expense of fully living the present moment. Those jedis always have wise things to say!
In all seriousness, I have been personally challenged to remember others more than myself. To look up, as it were, instead of looking in. Because it's not about choo, or me, for that matter. It's about how truly incredible God is, and how He has this good, pleasing, and perfect plan for our lives.
To think of when God tells Abraham to look to the heavens. Or the countless times David does so in the Psalms. How in their moments of confusion or pain, when they looked to the Creator, peace came.
To remember that Abraham and David were just regular people that allowed God to work through them so that they weren't just successful, but significant. To see how the choices they made, particularly the ones where they choose to obey God, have a lasting impact on our world today. Can I get an amen?
The man leading the prayer walk was encouraging us to pray more for others. I'm reading a book about how it's not important just to be good, but to do good. I'm challenged to let my prayer and my actions walk hand in hand for the sake of the gospel. The good news:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim
freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.
(taken from Isaiah, but used in Luke 4:18-19)
I apologize for the horrible grammar, as always, included in this post. I will not apologize if any of these words made you think, or to live differently. Or even if they made you angry.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The fundamentals
Working with little tikes is not my forte. It sure is a lot of fun though. This week reminded me of my eight weeks in the Reno area teaching VBS from week to week. I remembered how the first day is always a little rough because the kids are learning to trust you as someone in authority. By day 2, things are usually a lot better, and by the final days, you're thankful it's over only because of how much energy is spent.
After all, the kids are crazy and goofy and have about a thousand times more energy than you do. Nonetheless, if I had that much energy, I would love to keep going. It's cool to see their hearts. And on a less spiritual aspect, I LOVE watching them pass the ball to each other like a team, and watching their excitement when their teammates score. As Jacob (first in the line below) said, "I get the assist for that one, right!?"I also remembered how much we need to encourage the students. We need to remember to be firm, but to also follow up the reprimands with love. How many times I had to stop a kid from travelling or double-dribbling with a shout, and to also say, "I want to see you become an even better basketball player than you already are--that's why I have to stop you from making the same mistake twice."
Kids are great. Sports ministry is also great. I hope I get to do some of this in Argentina, even if it is futbol!
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