Smirk / yuzz

Combo stealing from the Jill Bradford column(s).

Harrison, age 8: I play video games, and I think I turned out all right.

Patina, teacher: So what are ways that we can become friends with Jesus?
Mason, age 7: Ask our moms!

The Picture of Dorian Gray. I tell you, this one was a doozy. All the talking from chapter to chapter made finishing slow to come by. I will say that the combination of this book and watching two "Miss Marples" from Masterpiece Collection, made for a fun reading of Exodus' first couple chapters in my weak Irish accent. Where's Bonnie Gager when you need her?
Nonetheless, going all the way through the short novel is worthy of anyone's time. For me, I read the theme of sin's stronghold on the soul. Of the small idea that leads into a life of vanity, that leads into much more sin, and to see that sin affecting the community.

To me it is also a story of a need for confession. How much sin weighs on our conscience, and is in need of a gracious listening ear. I think of people who may be distraught by their own sin and the lie that entraps them consists of the unwillingness of our Father to forgive. How far from the truth! How do we lovingly remind people (and ourselves) that God will forgive us? I feel like one of the obstacles is this thing called guilt. I've seen it affect my own life, thinking that what I've done is too great.

Jesus is greater.

Confess, therefore, because He is faithful and just.

Finally, this is a story of choosing your friends wisely. I had to stop myself a few times to remember that a certain character truly is despicable. While what he says is nothing short of honey, it comes with the sting of death! Be careful who you listen to, even.. especially when it sounds pretty!

Weird

Upward Basketball camp started this week. I'm blessed to get to help out this year, along with fellow Lakeland Baptist friends such as Danielle Presley, Lisa Ridinger, Zach Cast and.. duhn duhn duhn!!! Cailey Cantwell!!

What??? Are you kidding me?? I held Cailey as a baby and now she's driving me to Wendy's for our lunch break?! I couldn't get over it.

The first half of the day, I got the third grade team, while the second half of the day I have a fourth grade team. I easily forget how complicated basketball is and, as I was telling the Ammermans, it's difficult to know what part of the game to focus on during our 15 minute practices before our scrimmages. There's offensive positions, defense, shooting, passing, half court rules, passing, dribbling, other rules. And yes, passing is a big deal to me, because it's so tiring to watch players hold onto the ball all to themselves. I'm happy to say that the fourth grade team did give every person a chance to shoot, even the kid who has autism!

I can use your prayers. As I told my Sunday school group, I haven't worked with kids in awhile, so I'm in need of patience and wisdom when it comes to dealing with discipline. This is a great group of kids though, and I'm excited to see what God does through the week!

Got tickets??

More like, got enough tickets. This doesn't cover my ticket to NYC, but it does have NYC -->London -->Dublin -->Amsterdam -->Rome -->Buenos Aires -->Cordoba.

Oh international travel..

I guess it's also called hope

At Wednesday's Bible study, we talked about God's omnipresence. We looked at Jeremiah 23:23-24:

Am I only a God nearby, declares the Lord,

and not a God far away?

Can anyone hide in secret places

so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord.

Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord.

As we spent time talking about what it means for God to be with us at all times, we talked about our feelings of loneliness. When we are lonely, we can be comforted in knowing God--the one who truly cares for us--is there too. Maybe we don't experience joy in those times, but we aren't completely lost.

Christy put it well when she said it was the difference between being sad and being in despair. On one hand, we can be overwhelmed by the feeling of sadness and also know it will not last forever. On the other hand, in utter despair there is no hope for the future because of not believing in a loving God who knows what's best for us.

All this was encouraging to me, and I didn't want to forget it.

Adventures in baby sittin'

I realized that Nolan loves to be taken for a walk. Indoors, mind you, as this Texas heat would be too much for him. But just walking around the bottom floor of the Ammerman house is quite lovely (same route I take when talking with awesome people like Ariel and Sara!).

So next thing I know, Nolan is asleep. And since there were some rather important soccer games on today, I decided to stop the walk and rest on the couch. Nolan did that cute thing babies do, where they get in the fetal like position and rest on their stomachs on your chest. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Adorable.

Until about 45 minutes later when you feel something warm on your stomach. "Wake up time!" I said, as I lifted Nolan so as to stop the pee from getting all over me.

But of course, since he's my nephew, and he's only three months old now, I still have to deem the experience as cute. I do however, earn the right to tease him about this in the coming years.

Baby sittin

One of the best parts of being home and not having much on my plate is the excuse to hang out with this guy.That's right. "Favorite" Aunt Sharayah gets her quality time with little sobrino Nolan!

Today was the first time I've heard him really cry, which was so.. dare I say it? Cute. Beth had told me that she was only giving him 2 ounces every two hours because of how much he was spitting up. For those of you who don't know, Nolan has been struggling to gain weight. So to remedy the sadness, I gave him another ounce and a half, because honestly I didn't know what else to do.

Sure enough, he's falling asleep, while smiling and sucking on the bottle. His eyes are so big and bright, I'm just staring back and happy that he's happy. But here's the catch, before he can fall asleep he's gotta burp. I even tell him, "You know little buddy, I'm gonna need--"

BUUUUUURRRRRPPPPP!!!

I was in the midst of setting up to pat his back when this came out. Probably a good 4.7 of the richter scale. Then I let him fall asleep on my stomach. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

I thought I'd also include how energetic he was before the big cry. I think he's gonna grow up to be very active. Runner? Soccer player (as he was watching the US game at the time)? Baseball player? Only time will tell..

Finances

You know what doesn't make sense? The way God provides.

The other day I realized I needed to purchase the front half of the tickets for getting to Cordoba. It's quite a journey when I need to go to Amsterdam first for a conference (though I suppose meeting up with NYC friends and then spending a week with the parents overseas also adds to it). Any way, what I'm trying to say is it isn't cheap.

Well, I've been praying over this transaction for awhile. I've been watching all the airline prices as they steadily drop, so that I can get the best deal. Thankfully with one generous gift from a church family, as well as some reimbursed purchases from the Denver Mission Trip, I thought that the time to buy was soon.

But it was a funny feeling. I just woke up with a compelling need to buy the plane tickets. I can't really explain it, but prayed a bit more and then went to double check that I had the funds for the purchase. If I didn't, then I had planned to take some out from savings for buffer. No big deal, except that it meant I would have to wait a couple more days for the transfer to come through.

Only, what did I find? Another generous gift! It wasn't from family, but it was from "family" if you catch my drift. And here's the kicker: the cost of the plane tickets were completely covered by this deposit!! Can you believe that? I was astounded and extremely grateful.

Because even in the midst of knowing you're supposed to be doing something, it's helpful to be encouraged along the way. Opposition is sure to come (and in some ways, has), but there are just those moments where you know what you're doing is right. Also, hard to explain, but the book of Nehemiah has been my point of reference.

In another small way, I had been given a cash gift which I used for gas and food with friends since I've gotten here. I just ran out of that cash, only to be given the exact same amount by another family friend.

Now, there's a point at which I wonder if I'm supposed to take this money. I'm always thankful, and I try not to take advantage of the givers, nor do I like spending the money unwisely.. but at some point does it become too much?

I think of a couple things. Of a Christian woman who felt called to walk across America. She had wanted to raise support for her journey, but the money didn't come. Compelled to go on any way, she promised God that she wouldn't look at her checking account during the entire walk. She would spend the night at churches and have plenty of conversations with folks, asking them to support, but never wanting to know how much she was given. It also wasn't her priority. Her priority for the walk was praying and telling others about Jesus. When her and her mom reviewed the finances for that summer, over $10,000 had gone in and out of the account.

I think also of how much I want to give back. But I don't have anything, other than my time, to give. And I try to make sure my motivation behind volunteer work, or things of that nature are not done for attention, but because I want to remember that God first gave his time and attention and love to me.

I'm hardly perfect with my motivations, but I think God's changing me. I'm looking forward to the times when I will get to support others even more, though I have to realize it probably won't be as much financially. It's encouraging to remember the gift of the widow in Luke 21.

Ten cuidado, amigo

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over--

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

I've given much time thinking about the deferred dream today. I pray for those who might be settling.

I praise God for the hours spent with Christy hanging out at my aunt's school today, too. Then to Clue with a few others from Rock Pointe after that (oh and I suppose I can't forget the Chick Fil A!!!).

And what a blast to watch The 39 Steps with momma and poppa Ammerman. That is all.

The system

After a week of letting the effects of the Denver Mission trip brew, I have something to say.

1 in every 4 homeless person in Denver is a Vietnam veteran. I wrote about two of them I met here. I wrote about the strikes against them.

There are other obstacles for most homeless people. Yes, some of them make a choice that leads them there. But what does it take to turn around? As we had performed a community scavenger hunt last week, I got a few of my questions answered.

Rhetorical situation. Former alcoholic wants to stop what he's doing. We'll say he's single for simplicity sake--less people in the equation usually makes it easier to get out of homelessness, but let's be honest with ourselves and recognize this is not usually the case.

Loss of income to alcoholism probably means loss of job. Without income, rhetorical man probably didn't have a chance to pay health insurance any more. The system for most homeless shelters requires negative results of a TB test. Okay, most free clinics in Denver supply those. Man goes to said clinic only to find out he has a lot of paper work to fill out. Identification is necessary, but over time he had lost his wallet. Time to find ID.

There's a place for that too. But it means more paperwork. And it means more time. Don't forget that transportation is out the window because he can't afford a car anymore. Two options: he can take the bus or he can walk. Obviously, walking takes longer, but it is free. Then we have to consider the weather. If it's cold, and man doesn't have good clothing, the walk takes even longer. If it's hot, you better make sure he's well hydrated.

Hmm.. even the local McDonalds is charging 50 cents for water these days.

Okay, man has an option for reduced fair because of his situation. However, that takes more time, and more paperwork. He'll walk. He walks. Getting identification takes a few days, a few stamps of approval. All this so he can fill out the paperwork for the TB test he needed in the first place.

Man makes it to the clinic and realizes there's a line. Perhaps he showed up near the closing hours and they had to turn him away. No offense rhetorical man. So he returns the next day, but still is forced to wait a couple hours.

You could say that you would do what you had to. Need I remind you how upset you get when someone cuts you off in traffic, delaying you a mere 15 seconds? Don't tell me you wouldn't get frustrated with this system. Especially not when you're used to making a doctor's appointment, showing up, and you're out within a half an hour.

The TB test is administered, but can not be read for another 48-72 hours. That's time that can be used for finding a job. But how does he get to those places of work in order to fill out an application (hey! more paperwork!)? And in the mean time, where is he going to sleep? What if the clinic asks about his alcohol problem? What if he's forced into substance treatment?

Substance treatment on the street is dangerous. His body struggles with the flushing of his system (and we haven't mentioned how the weather might affect this). The withdrawal systems might lead to panic attacks, depression.. Physically he may find himself vomiting and in tremors. Let's say he falls asleep on a park bench from exhaustion (where did he get the food in the first place?). The police come and say he can't do that. Perhaps he gets off with a warning. Perhaps they think he's on drugs because of the culminating withdrawal systems.

You wanna just throw him into a rehabilitation center don't you? Well, that takes money, my friend.

Perhaps the cops throw him in jail. A place to sleep? Maybe. Depends on who's in there too.

What options are there to making money for food? There's begging. So he begs. I've seen and heard of those who get stuck in the cycle of begging. At first they face a lot of rejection and it brings them down. But then the rejection doesn't faze them anymore. Can you imagine what that does to a person? It's like the child who's told he's ugly all his life. He's not, by the way, but after hearing it so many times, he starts to believe it's true.

Begging can also be destructive if it works. What was it I heard said? "The worst thing I ever did was pick up that cardboard sign." The man had gotten so used to it, that he no longer had ambition. That's no good either.

Another option could be collecting cans. That probably includes dumpster diving. When we had gone on the scavenger hunt, one student had to reach through poop just to get three cans. Each group worked to collect 25 cans (which not every group was successful, I might add). When they went to turn in the cans they got a whopping 20 cents. It used to bring in about 50 cents (enough for water at McDonalds?), but the economy has brought down the cost for aluminium.

Are you tired yet?

People do sleep in dumpsters, but they'll often get skin infections and diseases from doing so.

How many days until rhetorical man is actually capable of staying in a shelter? One for which he had to wait in another line for, and had to walk to, and fill out more paperwork.

How will he get housing? Excuse me, how will he get approved for housing so he can then apply for housing? What will his job be? How likely will someone hire a former alcoholic who smells funny? Who perhaps spent a night in jail for presumably attempting to overdose on drugs? How much rejection to housing, begging, etc. can one person take before it's not worth the fight anymore?

All this for the man who wants to turn his life around. I'm not saying it should be a cake walk, but let's remember our first statistic and think about the ones who have served our country. The statistic is coming close to adding fighters from the Middle East too.

May we also not forget our state before Christ took us in. May we remember that Christ was homeless:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me...

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. (from the passage in Matthew 25:31-46)

Also untitled

How could this day get any better, I ask.

It started off with a lovely cereal breakfast and some restful reading/hang out time. Then the wonderful doorbell rang! It was Beth, who was letting me watch Nolan for a few hours. Which turned into them staying for dinner. Ahh! Nolan is amazing. His smile is so big, and his eyes are open more now. But surely my favorite part was getting to hold him while he rested on my shoulder. Precioso!

After dinner, I got to play some ultimate frisbee with a bunch of strangers. Always a good time. Scored a couple. Got scored on a couple ;)

Then met up with, check this group out: Shake'n'Bake, Macchu, and (trumpet call) JERIAH!!! No way dude!! I'm so stoked to get to spend more time with him (as well as the others) this summer.

Then went to Matt's place to watch our old music videos we made in high school. Good ole nostalgia. Then, and quite unexpectedly, had a very good life conversation. As you may of guessed, I'm a fan of those.

I'm looking forward to Bible study, dinner with the uncle and aunt, as well as hiking tomorrow!

Reconnecting

First of all, go see the A-Team movie. It is hilarious and ridiculous. Probably one of the funniest movies I've seen in awhile. At least for one that was intending to be funny (ahem.. Robin Hood.. cough).

More importantly, I just got back from a 3 hour conversation with one of my favorite high school friends' mom. I figured since I was in the neighborhood I would just run over to her place and catch up. Absolutely beautiful, and only about 3 miles away.

What an amazing woman and encouragement. Thank you God for people like her! I look forward to the rest of the summer if it means making reconnections like this one!

But now I must shower. I stinketh!

Oh, and props to Geo who went searching for me after I had been gone for so long. I felt bad since I don't take my phone with me. We're good now, but it meant a lot and I'm thankful for that too. The End.

A little taste

Had lunch with Manny Ramirez.

Walked Colfax a few times in the evening times.

Answer to prayer for a student--blew me away!

Was asked if I had a crack pipe.

Got to play basketball for the first time in forever, and even kayaked a little.

But now I need to sleep and get ready for the road ahead. I am so thankful for how wonderful the Denver Mission Trip was, as well as how it was my final moments with 4Cs.

Also. I will have to come back some day.

Scorcese vs. Potter

So there have been things in life that I simply haven't given a chance. By things I mean popular culture entertainment items that are often here today, gone tomorrow. However, I admit that some of them last a lot longer. The following list is my example:

Lost
High School Musical
Twilight
24
Harry Potter

Well last night, a family invited me to watch the first Harry Potter movie with them. I was hesitant at first, but when they explained to me that the mom and dad had gotten into the books because of their kids enthusiasm, I agreed. I am all for parents working to understand their children and better communicate with them. And even when I enjoyed dinner with this wonderful family earlier this week, it was cool for them to take time to talk about their favorite characters (and why) from the novels.

Results: predictable. I called what the mirror was about; I figured out the bad guy. While special effects were pretty cool, it was all sort of (at least in my mind), the typical magical stuff. As Noah would probably say at this point, "No offense." Seriously too, this is my opinion.

While I understand that there is more to the story--hence seven books--I really would care less to follow the long tale of how Harry Potter eventually kills Voldemort. Or at least that's my guess of the ending.

Here's the more intense reasoning though, other than just predictability.

The movie glorifies the life of wizardry. And if you pay attention, there are all sorts of subtle hints of cult life involved. They make fun of "regular" humans by calling them Muggles. They aren't allowed to do magic outside of Hogwarts, but they do it any way. Yes, they say that each wizard has the potential to be bad, but it feels more like a we-have-to-say-this-to-appease-the-parents sort of thing. After all, it is the very professor who is supposed to help you avoid the dark arts that is on the bad guys' team.

I'm just saying it makes me nervous.

It made me think of the very violent Scorcese films I've watched, particularly The Departed and Goodfellas. Don't those just glorify violence? One could argue.

But I'll respond with this. In both of those movies, we are given a picture of mob life. Goodfellas makes an excellent point as to why someone joins the mob in the first place--it's a place where Ray Liotta has a family he can depend on. But in the end he wants out.

The dramatic changes in DiCaprio's character make it very clear that mob life is not the way to go. In both cases, I have no more sense of curiosity to bring me to want that way of living at all. The violence actually affects me in a positive way if you will.

On the other hand, with the Potter series, children get excited about picking a house team (Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gryffendor). They get excited to ride the rides at Universal Studios where they're riding a magic broom. Etc., etc.

And I'm sorry, but that scares me.

Any way, I need to go finish up the final details for this week's mission trip. I wanted to write before I forgot that I wanted to. Thanks for listening, and feel free to argue.

What to do

Ever since I made a personal pact not to buy any more movies, I realized that I really do just own movies I really love and can watch over and over. While coming close to finishing with my packing, I've watched two more--X-Men 2 and The Count of Monte Cristo. The messages about life alone are enough.

Nonetheless, I don't need to take this many with me to Argentina. So I've given some away, and have sold a couple more. Should I wait till the end of the summer to let go of the rest? I've already decided that I'm keeping the Bourne series.. and Blood Diamond.. well, and Star Trek is straight on my computer..

So yeah. Minor incident, but something I think about. Hopefully by the end of tonight you shall see what I've reduced my life things to. Smiles.

Thanks

Just a shout out to God for being bigger than me.

I just got a phone call from Masha--in the midst of stressful moment (or 5). Timing couldn't have been more perfect, conversation couldn't have been more refreshing.

Still have lots of packing to do, but I've gotten rid of another couple bags worth of things. I would like to introduce a new concept for Biggest Loser: the biggest loser of unnecessary things in life.

The unofficial meet-cute

We came to Millenium Bridge because we wanted a place to just sit. We had walked all day, or so it felt, and so we rode the bus on 16th street till Union Station. Well, we might've gotten sidetracked because I saw some homeless guys playing chess and I wanted to watch. Oh the enthusiasm of the man when he knew he lost.

He had played rather quickly, with 3 minutes left of playing time. His opponent, hands unsteady, had only 46 seconds left. But the hare moved his queen to the very spot where it could be overtaken, and the match was done. He stood up with a shout. Not angry, but abashed that he'd been beaten again.

I sat on the bridge with Janelle and Lauren thinking about how quickly the game had come to end, and then I remembered that I had brought my juggling balls.

"I always forget that you juggle," Janelle was saying when he walked up.

I was working on making the throw behind the back and had successfully caught the first attempt. It was while picking up the next ball that he entered.

"You're the first person I've seen in this city juggling," he said.

"Oh, I'm not very good," I said. "But if you start juggling, I'll steal it from you!"

So he starts juggling, but then basically throws the juggling balls at me. I reassured that he didn't have to force it, and then we successfully passed to and fro.

"Show me more though," I said.

And boy did he have a lot of tricks up his sleeves. He showed me some things I've seen before, but then quite a few more I'd never come across. He started to teach me, and told me about his roommate who has taught him a lot of tricks so far. It was quick conversation back and forth. The brief history of how we had learned and what we were trying to figure out.

"It's true," he remarked. "It's so hard to learn new tricks on your own. Even slowing down all the how-to videos doesn't work. I've tried."

We commented on how it helps to know someone to teach us.

I asked Janelle what time it was and realized we had to go, but it was nice to meet..

"I'm Luke," he shook my hand. "What's your name?"

I told him and walked off. I couldn't stop thinking about the new things I have yet to learn.

The packing begins

This morning, it was short lived. I figured that this is my last week with the Sonnenbergs, so I told Noah that when he got his chores done, we could walk to Steamer's together. He came knocking at my door to say he was ready a mere 10 minutes later!

So then we had a nice stroll through the neighborhood where we just talked about all sorts of things. A great time. As I was walking I was thinking about how weird it will be if I have a chance to see this kid later on in life. Like ten years or so. I'll be in my thirties and he'll probably be finishing up with college. Crazy! Then I thought about how there are times when we subconsciously assess whether we're having fun during an event. This was definitely fun for me, but I was also thinking about how much we must choose to have fun or not.

That even amongst strangers and uncomfortable times, it's up to you to decide to make the most of the moment.

But I digress. That was followed up with more discussion on youth ministry with Randy. I think I could talk the biz for hours, and it's cool to bounce ideas and philosophies. I learn a lot.

That followed by my final Bible reading time with Rachel! Ahh!!! I don't want it to end! We read part of Job, and then some of my favorite reads (1 Peter 1, Isaiah 40, and 1 Samuel 13-14). I love that girl so much, and I will miss her deeply!! Any way so we prayed and hung out for a total of 2 hours.

So I got back to the office and tried to finish the devotionals for the Denver Mission Trip next week. To no avail, because by that time it was already 6pm and I had to be at the Hock's for dinner. My oh my that was delicious, and it was a joy to hear Marcus play the piano. I think he might be one of the best that I know.

We played cornball after that, and I got a little competitive. Had a great time (not just because I won, I swear!), because of how back and forth all the games were. I was always against Marcus, and I kept canceling out his points which led to a lot of laughter and frustration. hehe.

'Bout to watch a movie with Marie, but I promise in the morning I'll get to some packing! I have two more boxes of clothes to get rid of, and then I'm going to work to get all my stuff down to two suitcases! Woo! My major problem will be letting go of books, I think...