Surrender

For two weeks, this has been brewing in my head. When everything happened, it just kind of amazing to me, and I didn't have the words. I probably still don't have the words, but I shall try.

In the simplest of terms, I'm ready to go.

I just finished reading Acts and was talking to Pastor Victor some more about Argentina. He gave wise words of counsel for when I get there, and also offered his (and his wife's and his friend's) home in Bolivia to me, whenever I needed a break. He suggested reading Nehemiah now, as a way to think and pray through the forms of opposition that were/are headed my way.

I recalled how IVN came to 4C's building the week after I was accepted to go. I thought how perfect God's timing in giving me a place to practice hearing, speaking(?), and singing Spanish. Who knew that it would also be a place I'd meet great people like Raul, Marina and Eusebio, to name a few, as well.

Along the same lines, I recalled how I was telling a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile about how I was hoping to go to Argentina, but was waiting to hear back sometime that week. However, he spoke of how crazy I was to choose Argentina after having studied Russian and Hindi. I tried to explain that those places aren't off my list, but that they weren't where I was going now. (I chose to hold back that Lebanon was choice number two--long story). I was confused and even saddened at the discouragement from that conversation, and even started to think over my decision.

I came to a point in prayer with God that said, "You know what? It's okay. If you don't want me to go there, you can take it away."

I only want to go where He wants me, after all.

An hour after that telegraph prayer, as I'll call it, Matt called to say the Argentinian team accepted me. And now within only 3 months, I'm within a couple thousand dollars of being fully supported.

I'm no Nehemiah (just as I'm no Paul!), but I am like them in that I'm just another person that God, for some crazy reason, just loves. I still hold loosely to my travels (to all plans, really), because He could still have me somewhere else. He knows best, and is worthy of the trust. (Insert more journey talk, haha)

The second thing to startle me was the fact that I decided to listen to Francis Chan. I was introduced to his podcast not too long ago, but had been listening to others at the time. I saw a sermon labeled "Surrender," and thought I'd take a gander. The sermon encompassed the call on Francis and his family's life to leave the church to work abroad for a little bit, before serving (most likely) in L.A.

Whoa.

I got goosebumps listening to his wife talk about the unity in their decision. Not that they'd ever pictured going where they're going, or even starting the church to whom they spoke in that moment. It doesn't always make sense. Ahem, it hardly makes sense.

I kept thinking, "Why did I pick this sermon, at this time?"

Some may struggle with God being that personal. For me, I think it's that I've been leaning very hard into Him especially over the last year or so (still with my many failures), that it makes believing He'd speak to me specifically, and you'll have to hear the sermon for yourself probably, seem realistic.

Thinking again of Acts, I love the couple verses I'd never noticed before. They mention how the Lord met with Paul to tell him (sorta) what was happening next. I'll just include them:
Then the Lord said to me, 'Go; I will send you far away to the Gentiles.'

The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, 'Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.'

(Acts 22:21 and 23:11)

How beautiful, no? The Lord stood near. The Lord says to take courage. Through all that Paul goes through, the Lord never leaves him. If that doesn't give you a breath of fresh air, I don't know what to say.

What's also encouraging is the other testing involved in this time of transition. Talking with elders and others who I believe are trying to make sure that I'm going the right direction, has encouraged me. They care about me, and they do not want me to be rash. It is similar to Francis Chan's family discussing the move with loads of people before making a decision. I guess it's helpful to know that a plethora of folks are behind me, standing guard in prayer.

Does this even make sense to you? I dunno. But it has blown me away, among many other things as of late, and I want to hold on to this knowledge for the future. I want to remember what this is like, and I want to press on. That is all.