Oh so fickle

In high school, I had a friend who called herself the most fickle person she knew. And you would watch her as she was unable to decide which boy she really liked from one moment to the next. I remember English class about that same year talking about how the moon in literature was almost always a symbol of femininity, because of how much it changes (though I wonder if another 28 day cycle might have something to do with it! I just went there..). Fickle and females seem to go together.

Then what is (most-handsome) Zachary Quinto doing at the beginning of this entry?

My host mom is actually quite sick of the flip-floppiness of Sylar's character on the NBC show Heroes. This week's episode featured him and Peter trapped inside a nightmare. So you can understand the tension without having watched the show--Sylar is the murderer of Peter's brother. Peter needs Sylar's superpower to save his friend Emma. It's okay if you're confused.

The takeaway is both characters need out. Also fascinating: Sylar desperately wants to change.

Sylar's fate was revealed to him a few episodes back. He is afraid that while he has all these superpowers, he will ultimately live a lonely life. Having thought more about this reality, he sought the help of another character to help him erase his ability to use the powers. Maybe if he just got rid of everything, he would be better.

Kind of sounds like you and me, huh? Sometimes we think that if we just got rid of something, we would be better for it. More specifically, giving up on eating sweets. Or maybe you've thought about throwing away the movies/cds/etc. that had bad lyrics or bad scenes. However you may define bad.

A week later you realize you're still craving that scoop of ice cream. A month later you re-buy the song on iTunes. Obviously, there's something more important than just giving something up (which perhaps this is a great pre-Lent moment), as there is an unhealthy spirit inside of us that needs changing or destruction, not just the external manifestation of that spirit. Enter form of fickleness number one.

Sylar had been trapped long before Peter joined him. Apparently, he had tried all he could to get out, but to no avail. "Maybe I deserve this, for all I've done," he later told Peter.

We do that too. Give up. Think that maybe this rut we're stuck in (sin or other problems) is our fault and that's final. We doubt. We hide. We have moments of wanting the freedom we've read about in the Bible, but then we go and do the stupid thing again. Over and over, cycle after fickle cycle. Number two.

And this isn't the only time Sylar has wanted freedom from the dark side (don't you love how all nerdy metaphors go together?). Last season had a beautiful moment where he chose to show grace to a character even though she had used and abused him previously. Two episodes later, he killed her. I mean, I didn't like her much any way so it was okay.

JUST KIDDING!

It can be annoying to watch Sylar not pick a side. Or it can be comforting.

Comforting?

As I remember how imperfect I am, how much I change my thoughts on how I feel about certain happenings in my life (or even color; I never know my favorite color), it's nice to watch art reflect life. Part of what makes a character so interesting is the fact that he or she is dynamic and round. Not static and flat. Remember these terms from high school English? Part of what makes our life so interesting is when we make changes in our lives.

While I know that Sylar's changes might also come from poor writing, or simply the need to keep the show going, I still loved the moment where he said he wasn't that guy anymore. He isn't the killer, he's the hero.

I'm reminded of last night's sermon that used the story of the woman who washes Jesus' feet as told in Luke 7. Jesus knew exactly who she was, all that she had done. He knew that she would probably even mess up again later. Christ says to her, and I imagine it is with such gentleness, "You're faith has saved you. Go in peace."

It's okay, He tells us. Let my love be enough for you, He whispers in our ear.

I love you.

Do we hear it? Do we need the repetition like with Matt Damon's character in Good Will Hunting?

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault..

Jesus knows your heart. He knows it all.

I love you, He says.

Go in peace.

It's okay that we're fickle because we have so much we're trying to figure out. I pray you don't get trapped in the lies though. May you rest in truth. May you have people in your life to remind you of that truth. May you pursue positive change that starts with what's inside of you, and not just what shows up on the outside.