Coming full circle: a 6 year process

"Jonathan Cubley would like to add you as a friend."

I was surprised by this. I hadn't heard from ex-boyfriend "Bubbly" Cubley in years. And instead of responding right away, I stopped to think about it. The story is that we dated over a summer. If you could call it that. I mean, neither of us had cars. But we talked and hung out a lot. Good times. When school started up though, it wasn't working out, and he decided to break up with me.

Via poem.

I laugh about it now, though at the time, I was crushed. And it was remembering this poem, which I still possess, that made me think twice before accepting the friend invite. A week later, however, he sent me a message saying I was silly not to be his friend. We've grown up and changed, he said. "And I did value our friendship."

I responded, "I guess I'm still just struggling with the, 'I'll see you later/I'm not Darth Vator' couplet" (his spelling of Vator). But then I decided to accept the invite.

That's right, that was part of the break up poem (at least it's better than a post-it note??). Other highlights I'd like to include:

"All that we've shared,
my heart is teared.
hehe I can't rhyme,
but yet I do it all the time.
Laugh it off
this is no cough..."

So the friendship on fb began a few months ago. I hadn't heard from him until yesterday, on fb chat. He wrote:

"hello, my name is darth vader;
I've been gone so long call me Ike Taylor;
No one remember my name;
But I hole the world in my brain;
Callin me the big mocheesmo John Wayne;
I hope you are doing well and stay doing your thang;
sorry I'm bored."

To which, I laughed out loud. I definitely give him credit for creativity, but my oh my how strange life can be sometimes.

Monday night dinners

I was recently reminded of Virginia. My second family, the Burgesses, live there. That is, the family who took care of me while I was a "'tern at 3PC" (see fb group). And while spending 3ish glorious months there, they maintained the Monday night dinner tradition with their children as well as their friends, every week.

I loved watching everyone do their part; Andy and Brenda would figure out the meal and make it, Rachel and Nathan would make the table/do the dishes, and I would fit in there somewhere too. I remember the conversations. Like when they worked so hard to get me to like soccer, and told me about the player Ronaldhino, who to me just looked like Jar Jar Binks. Minus the ears. I remember Nathan's story about going to Scotland, and almost getting jumped by a couple of guys who supported the other football team, because one of their party was wearing blue socks.

How could I forget playing roller hockey afterward? The times I fell on my face, the time I scored an "ESPN highlight" goal.. and then fell on my face..? The rigging of the U of R lights? The marking up of the tennis courts that you really shouldn't play on?

How could I forget Ukrop's rolls? (my mouth is presently watering)

I loved Monday night dinners. And it was by the Burgess's example that I knew if I ever settled, I would do something like that. I wouldn't be afraid to "make the circle bigger," as was one of the conversations Brenda and I had about a time when the dinner table was getting a little full.

In part, I'm reminded of MNDs because I have now attended two such dinners with the Nelson's in the past few weeks. I love it. I love the feel of family. The deliciousness, and free-ness ;), of the food. The conversation.

The other half, is that it goes back to the church conversation--back to that verse in Acts where they "broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts." The church doesn't have to meet within a certain building. The church has something to do with what's on the inside of us, coming together because we recognize how much God loves us. We celebrate that amongst fellow believers.

Yet, there is so much more to this word. Check here for more insight. This is what I will leave you with for now. Stay tuned!

Only in youth ministry...

..does one walk into a room with a bouquet of flowers, a block of cheese and a ping pong ball.

..is it okay for a student to say, "it was the tampons that won it for us."

..is it normal to get a text message saying, "i'm good. just doing some pre calc on the toilet."

..does one get paid to watch some of your favorite sports.

and in all seriousness.. for students to open up to you out of nowhere. Please be praying for one of my junior high student's family. Thanks.

church with a capital C

I don't know if this embedding will work, but I'll figure it out in time. I'm not always apt at computer things such as these.

The point however, is this is the beginning of what has been going through my mind a lot. What exactly is church? I know it's not a building, but when people keep saying that it's a "place you go for..." you have to wonder if it's transformed into one. But what does the Bible say? What are we doing?

Now you might see the reason for watching "Starving Jesus" in the last blog episode..

p.s. definitely got what I will call a yellow card from the mall cops during the making of this video. How much of a rebel am I? muah ha ha.

See picture below

I watched the "Starving Jesus" documentary today at work. It features Craig Gross and J.R. Mahon, founders of xxxchurch.com, going on a 40 day journey throughout America encouraging church-goers to get out of the pews and into the community.

It's fascinating because the focus is not always on the community service projects that they do take part in, or on the reactions of the churches to their message, or even their message at all. The film instead tends to zoom in on the relationships between Craig, J.R. and Dave their driver. We especially get a view of how the 40 day fast that they do in conjunction with the journey takes a toll on the two main men.

What I will say is this. I loved that these pastors showed their true colors. Sometimes they were mean-spirited, just downright jerks. And yet, you know that they love Jesus, because they wouldn't take part in something like this (40 days without food is CRAZY) if it weren't for Him. Maybe their story is an example of selfish pride, or maybe they were being real with how hard it can be to follow Christ and be convicted about the need for the church to reach out to the community the way God intended. Satan would surely be afraid of that gospel. I would imagine the father of lies trying to tear them apart as much as possible.

I (and J.R. too) was moved most by a woman in Louisiana who was part of a very generous ministry. As I scan my room of the many things I have (even after having gotten rid of a lot from my most recent move), I am ashamed of how little I have given. Not just of what I own, but my time and other resources. I realize how easy it is to be distracted, and to be selfish. I am also encouraged by how merciful our Lord is to us. How much He looks at our heart, allowing us to pick back up to the place we left Him. Okay, I may be getting some of this from the book I'm currently reading (more on that later). Nonetheless, I can also vouch that the Lord was looking to the heart of these men as they struggled to see the change/conviction in one another during their time of fasting (one even stops fasting a few days early). I can see how it would be easy for the viewer of the film too, to think that it was all for show.

More importantly, I agree that we need to stop starving Jesus. We need to do something for our community; having compassion on the masses the way Jesus did during His time on earth. Thinking of another pretty sweet ministry: You have one life. Do something.

In other words, I recommend this documentary to be taken with a grain of salt.

I thought

..that I knew how to read the Bible well.With the completion of one of this year's new year's resolutions, I realized that sometimes I go about reading God's Word all wrong. As one friend said, "If we interpret the Bible to mean everything, it doesn't mean anything." Thus, I am challenged to not just have the Bible say what I want it to say. Or mean what I think it means. The layers (historical and literal context, audience, writer) are meant to magnify God, after all.

I mean, I can specifically think of a time when I read a verse in James and I felt like it meant that I should respond in a way that wasn't even addressed in the whole book of James. I confess. I'm not perfect.

Now I look forward to How to 2.

It's amazing how simple it can be sometimes.