Fear

The first stop on the mission trip to Denver included the most interesting conversation of the weekend. It was with a guy named Ricky, 31, African American. He had lived on the streets of Baltimore and Denver for several years, and was now taking part in a program at Denver Rescue Mission which helped to educate homeless people in practical and spiritual ways.

Before he delved into his life story, he and I chatted about basketball for about half an hour. I get carried away with sports a lot, but this had more to do with the run the Nuggets had this year, and the flaws that we saw in the team. Not that we weren't rooting for them. And both of us used to play, so it made the conversation all the easier.

Then he opened up. When you listen to people, that trust is built and you don't even have to ask. Though for some it takes a long time of listening, he just went. The stories of living on the streets near Baltimore; the story of his daughter who is actually doing quite successfully in school.

The most interesting was his present condition.

"I've never been more afraid in my life," he said. "Living on the streets, I knew what to expect. I would do stupid things, I would get arrested. I would be set free. I would do more stupid things. It was often a matter of survival, but at least I knew what was coming.

"With God, it's a different story. The things I read about Him, and some of the things He calls us to, is scary. Especially if God is as real as what was written about Him, I've never been more afraid in my life."

Like I said, this stuck with me for the rest of the weekend (May 28th-June 2). Have I ever been remotely afraid of what God may call me to? At times, I know I can answer yes to this question. But for the most part I would say that I have enjoyed being very comfortable with my call to youth ministry. I've rarely questioned whether there was more He was asking of me.

But take it a step further, as in, stop looking to myself, it's even scarier. Do we understand how big our God really is? I'm certain we could never know, at least not on earth. And even in heaven, is it possible that He could withhold some of His power from us then? He is that Holy. That Big.

The things He has done--calmed the storm, healed the deaf, dumb and blind, walked on water--we so casually read about. You guys!!!

HE CALMED A STORM!!!!
HE HEALED THE SICK (EVEN RAISED A FRIEND FROM THE DEAD)!!!!
HE WALKED ON WATER!!!!

Do you get it? Do you see why Ricky is so scared?