The color of red

Moving Time

2010-09-24T18:15:00.001-07:00

Yes. The new blog for the next stage of life has begun.

sharayahenargentina.blogspot.com. See you there!

(I'll probably post some thoughts from the final adventures eventually, but don't hold your breath!)

Surfin' Ireland (to the Beach Boys tune)

2010-09-16T05:28:00.000-07:00

Yeah, doesn't quite work as well. And I often got strange looks when I told people I was going to learn to surf in Ireland. It was as if the land of leprechauns was not allowed to have nautical-type fun even though, hello?!, it's an island. Surrounded by water--conditions, as Flight of the Conchords would say, are perfect (just don't wear socks while surfing. THAT would be strange).

We took a taxi from our hotel in Killarney to Inch Beach, a drive that would take just about 45 minutes. But as you may have read in Quirks, our taxi driver was awesome and was even willing to pick us up when we were done (kind of difficult to find a taxi in the Inch Beach area).

So first came the amazing wetsuits; those things that will show off all of our God given curves. Or, as Ariel and I decided, turned us into superheroes (which we are). Look at those bangs! And look at Ariel's don't-mess-with-me face!Our instructor was great. He had crazy red curly hair, and told stories of the many places he had surfed. When he found out I was Texan, he told me about surfing in Indonesia with a Texan who wore his ten-gallon hat. When his Irish accent then proceeded to do a Texas accent, I had to laugh.

The better part of the story is that all three of us--me, Ariel and pops--stood up!!! Dad in fact, beat us to the punch (the same dad who was unwilling to go skydiving for my birthday I might add. Poke, poke.) The feeling was incredible, especially because on the last run for Ariel, we both went at the same time and stood! How beautiful is that?We ate at the restaurant on the beach before going back to Killarney. There we decided to kill time by watching a movie. Can I just say Inception is better the second time? Ahh! I love it!

Christmas in Killarney!

2010-08-29T04:59:00.000-07:00

That is, more like Saturday in Killarney. Well first--a taxi to the train station. A train to Mallow. Another train to Killarney. A taxi to our not as cute hotel. Killarney!!!

Killarney has a beautiful national park that I had read about. I was told to rent bikes and just go for it. So that's what we did. The place was beautiful, the paths were great, and the bikes were only 10Euro each (no time limit that I know of). One word: GREEN!! I mean, I'm sure you could tell from other photos how green Ireland is, but this just hit the nail on its head.
We made our way to an old castle which we could only explore on the outside. Nevertheless, it was also situated on a beach which made for a great resting point. We continued on around and around until we came to a point where literally couldn't go any further. "Unless your bike was made for a guy named Peter," my mom had joked. I talked about how I missed Lake Tahoe and all its perfect rocks for some Little Mermaid singing. Sure enough, that's what Ariel and I sang on the ride back.
One of the workers for the bike company wanted to take a picture of us in front of his store. Good advertising, no? But I was thrown off when he said right before the picture, "Ok! Everybody say S***!" Say wha-? Oh well.We went to dinner at a traditional Irish pub called O'Donahughes. The food was very filling, but it was the dessert that was especially magical--a thing called Banoffi Pie! The end.

Notes

2010-08-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

A couple valuable snippets from the Go Conference seminars:

Christ has not called me to a place, He has called me to Himself.

In Matthew 8 and 14 there are two storms. One Jesus calms, the other He walks through. We aren't asked to concentrate on the storms, but on Christ.

When it comes to reading the Bible, we need to view it like a feast. If we continue to have a good meal, we won't be tempted to eat the wrong things. But when we starve ourselves, when something comes by (some thing that we may even know will not satisfy or fill us up), we'll eat it. Then we'll get sick.

Too much

2010-08-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

There is too much to say. Also, I can not upload pictures at this time because there are 500 of us using very little bandwidth. Is that the right spelling? I'm not a computer person..

Things to catch up on eventually (right now I should be leaving to have dinner):
1. Saturday, Sunday and Monday in Dublin.
2. The first two days of the GO Conference in Holland.
3. I eventually want to recap my road trip in Texas, but we'll see how that goes.

I do request that those of you who read this pray for me. I am learning a lot more than I think my brain can handle, but I am so grateful. Please lift up my transition time, as well as those I will be serving and living with in Cordoba.

Thanks friends!

My goodness, my Guinness and GOOOOAAALLL!!!

2010-08-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

So it's still very clear that I don't like beer. I suppose that's not what this day was all about, so I let everything lead up to it in time.

First, Ariel came at 2:30am. She had taken the only direct flight from Athens to Dublin in order to spend time with yours truly before she goes back home to start the real world. Aww shucks moment I do believe. My dad had said, "Have fun reminiscing" as he kissed me goodnight. I remember saying that I was tired, but he was right. I don't think we actually closed our eyes to snooze until about 4:30 or 5.

So we wake up, eat some b-fast, and then head out toward Molly Malone and the very tall spire. Who's Molly Malone and what's the spire all about? I still don't know, but I reckon they're important to see. So we took the tourist pictures and moved on to the Guinness Storehouse. It's one of the biggest breweries in Europe, with the museum itself being 7 stories!

The museum is not all that interesting, well, unless you REALLY REALLY REALLY care about beer. Which I don't. There is a floor dedicated to learning how to pour from the tap. You even get a certificate for pouring the "perfect pint." Then you're supposed to drink your beer. Maybe that's how they try to make the museum more interesting. Get you drunk, then everything is awesome, man! No.. something to note though, is that there's a science to drinking beer that I never knew about. Apparently, you're supposed to take a breath, take a swig, gargle around your mouth, then swallow. Exhale through the nose. I definitely tasted a difference this way, but not a difference to convince me that it tastes very good. The main thing is that you're never supposed to sip beer.

Fascinating, I know.

We moved on to lunch-ish at Subway, the international safe haven for American food. Better than McDonald's at least, and more filling than Starbucks, although that has become a staple I've noticed for many American international travelers.

Then Ariel and I went on to St. Patrick's cathedral. I was thankful to get a redo on my picture taking. After too, the weather had cleared up so that we had some great sun in the green lawns outside of the cathedral. Mmhmm!!Something I've been wanting to do ever since finding out about Argentina was to go to a soccer game where the people actually care about what's going on. The World Cup helped me to care more about the sport myself, and I have been playing some throughout the past few years. I still don't fully understand it, but I have seen a certain Elijah Wood movie that led to the understanding of its great importance in our world culture.So here we are at the Shamrock Rovers game in Tallaght Stadium just outside of Dublin. They're like a minor league team in America, but they are very entertaining. Naturally the best part was hearing all of the memorized cheers that usually are sung to the tune of bar songs. What was most surprising though, was the sound of cheering even when players didn't score. The general feeling during the game was of encouragement: no wonder no one gets angry when the game ends in a tie. My whole family will stand by the fact that this is why soccer doesn't fly in America compared to the other sports.

Well, off to bed. I hope to learn to surf tomorrow! And stay tuned for the story of one of the best taxi drivers in the quirk blog!

Matthew, Mark, Luke and Paddy

2010-08-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Marnin' mates. It's currently day tree of the Ireland tour, but I've come to pay me 'spects to day two. Too pirate sounding? Lol. Trying to convey the wonderful Irish accent can be tricky.

I um.. didn't wake up until 12:30. I tried to tell mom that jetlag gets me every time. I s'pose now she understands what I mean. We set on our way to the hop on/hop off tour bus so that we could get to Christchurch and St. Patrick's Cathedral. I had heard in an earlier tour that the Gaelic word "Kil" means church: so think Kilkenny, Killarney, etc. as all referring to a church of some sort. Does that then mean Christchurch can translate to Christkil? duhn duhn duhn...

Speaking of kill, I dropped my camera in Christchurch and it officially broke. No hay funciona. I was trying to have a good attitude about it, but I was just frustrated that I had dropped it again (the first time was at Dachau). Thankfully, I have wonderful parents who supplied me with another camera, and this one with the proper outlet I will need in Argentina. God, you are amazing and I will never deserve you!

Time passed quickly this day, since I had gotten up so late, so while we wanted to go to Gaol, we ended up going straight to Trinity College in order to see the Book of Kells and Long Room. Word to the wise, the Book of Kells is not that interesting. I mean, it's interesting because of how old it is, but there's not much to it. Thankfully, we had skirted through without paying the 9 Euro a pop, as we arrived for the final ten minutes of the museum opening.

On the other hand, Long Room is most definitely worth it. I wasn't allowed to take pictures (well, nor could I!), but it is basically one giant library full of ancient books that also disperse that delicious ancient book smell! I think there's a scene in Harry Potter using this room, but I could be wrong. Just go see it!

I don't remember precisely when this happened, but at one point on the tour bus, we noticed that at every stop the bus driver was giving a different name. When we hopped on, he said, "Ay guys, welcome to the Dublin tour bus, me name is Mat-two." (They don't pronounce the "th" the way we do.) On the next stop, he was called Mark. You guessed it, then he was Luke. So all three of us shouted "John!" for the next stop

"Oh you caught me!" he had said, and then said that you could call him whatever you like. "In fact, call me Paddy!"

Classic.

We walked to the fair statue of Molly Malone, as well as a converted church. Hmm.. that's a funny phrase. A former-church-turned-tourist-information-center. Near there, we got a fantastic dinner where we were served by a kind waiter. One thing is for sure, Dublin is filled with perhaps the sweetest people I've ever met overseas. There's more to come on that in the next day's adventures. Also to be included: time with Ariel!!!

Oh laddy

2010-08-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Ireland. It really is that green. So far, it really is that beautiful too.

I arrived after more than enough hours of traveling. 2 hours spent watching Invictus (Matt Damon!) on the plane, 3 hours layover in London Heathrow, and 1 hour waiting for my parents in the Dublin airport. All the rest of that time? Sleeping.

When we finally found each other, we took a taxi to a quaint hotel named after my roommate coming to stay with us on Friday. Okay, not named after her, but the same name. That is, Ariel House. Pretty perfect, eh? And it really is pretty great for only 65 USD a night!

We dropped off our things and then headed toward town to take a hop on/hop off bus tour. This way, we could see what there was in Dublin that we would want to spend more time on in the coming days. We have made a sufficient list, mind you, and even already have some good pictures from the bus (when it wasn't raining on us!).
After the tour, we decided to take a taxi to meet up with one of mom's friends from work. Funny story. Since we didn't know the specific address, we thought the safest bet was taking a taxi. When we told the taxi driver the address, I noticed him try to get over to another lane, but it was too late. Have I mentioned that they drive on the left side here? Any who, the driver makes a giant circle to a place, the place we were going, a mere two and half blocks away from our beginning location. Smooth, Longorias, smooth.

Dinner was at Temple Bar. Not only is this the name of the bar, it's also the name of the general location in Dublin. In this area are loads of pubs and restaurants (that are mainly pubs). I figured that just as when I was in Germany and I sipped a German beer, I should probably try a Guinness.
I still don't like beer. :P But I aimed to at least drink to the bottom of the label "Guinness" on my glass. I came so close!

Now it's 9pm and I'm calling it a night. Blame the jetlag, but also give credit to the miles of walking I did in NYC. I'm pooped!

Moment

2010-08-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

Just a quick reminder of hope.

A woman, carrying a baby in front of her, holding onto another via leash, with a little girl (maybe 9) walking alongside. Obviously, this woman has a lot on her hands and it's dreadful she's traveling alone. (There is a ring on her finger, so he must just be at the destination, I assume.)

Baby starts crying, and doesn't stop, throughout the transfer from terminal 3 in London Heathrow, to terminal 1. Line after line of customs and security make the moment perhaps unbearable, but she doesn't lose her nerve. She just takes it. Trying hard to rock the baby; willing to carry the other and bounce him up and down when he whines every now and then. Not once, do I sense that she's upset or frustrated.

She was behind me quite a ways, so I didn't know what to do. Finally, another woman had the right idea. She let her pass in front of her in the queue, as it's called. That brought the woman closer to me. "Keep going," I said, waving her on. You would've thought that Andre the Giant had called everyone to move. The entire line split and let her go ahead. They all had happy looks, knowing that if they were in that position, they would hope the same was done for them.

Simply beautiful.

Yo Jeter

2010-08-16T22:28:00.000-07:00

Day four and five in New York.

Woke up Sunday rather excited to go to Redeemer Presbyterian, also referred to as Tim Keller's church. You know, like Mark Driscoll's church up in Seattle, right? Mr. Keller only preaches during the 6pm service, but I was happy to see what the body of believers in New York looks like. They meet at several different campuses throughout the Manhattan Island, so I picked the one that is pretty close, and doesn't start till 10:30. Dr. Lin preached about the Holy Spirit as the all-consuming (but not consumed) fire in Acts 2. I recommend you find the podcast, because it was very interesting! I liked the use of liturgy in the service, as well as the prayer offered by one of the congregation. Reminded me a lot of my times at Third Presbyterian in Richmond.

Met up with Kathryn right after (she had battled with the subway to get to church, and lost) for a quick Starbucks run before separating yet again. She went to a photography class while I went to the Empire State Building. The plan was I would wait in line, and she would join me after the class. Most research suggests the lines to the ESB are just as epic as the building itself.

However, I literally walked in the door, and was at the top within about half an hour (there are a few short lines for security and for the elevator after all). Beautiful. The views, I can not share with you, as I had left my camera in the apartment thinking I could get in on my way back from church. Oops. But for future reference, if you ever go to NYC, you must go to the top of the ESB. The views are too fun, and paying the extra money to go to the 102nd floor (as opposed to just the 86th) is worth it. The taller section is a much smaller area, yet not crowded either. And the men in uniform really are experts on the subject of the buildings and their history :P

Met up with Kathryn at the Flatiron building. I made her take a few pictures for me since I am impressed by the first skyrise in New York. Then it started to rain on us which we took advantage of. For you see, in Flatiron area, there is a famous burger joint known as Shake Shack. Typically, the line is at least an hour long, but since everyone wanted to avoid getting wet, we got through in 20 minutes. Hooray for short line number two for the day!

We couldn't think of what to do next. And then it hit us: let's be hipsters! NYC is a film capital after all, why not hit up an indie movie? It turned out we saw a really good one, one I think my pops would appreciate as it is about what makes art, art, and what can lead to the exploitation of art. I'll leave this link as a taste of what we experienced. Oh, and I should mention we were in Washington Square area by this point, close to Katz Delicatessen. That's right, I'll have what she's having.

It was still rainy and we must admit, we were tired. So we pretty much called it a night.

Today I decided two New York things were mine for the taking. The first: Ellis Island.

Before making my way to the southern tip of Manhattan, I rearranged my luggage so it was sufficiently supplied with what I needed in case I lose either one during transfer. I also had to make an extra key for my friend since one of the spare keys she had lent me wasn't working properly. During that time, I met a new friend, but I'll write about him in my other blog. Now, I was set to go.

Granted, all this time, I have not been using a map. I like looking up at buildings for my sense of direction, so I should have known that I would be helpless in the financial district, since I've mainly been midtown. I eventually found my good friend Battery Park, and proceeded to the truly epic line of all of New York. It is very clear that if you want to go to both Liberty and Ellis Island, you will need a day to see it properly. I only wanted to see one, so that helped me shave a few hours off my trip (outside of getting lost, that is!). In the process, I was blessed to meet another couple from California, which made the wait not as bad.I also would suggest paying for the audio guide, as it provided great information throughout the self-guided tour. I'm glad New York renovated the place, and am thankful for all the exciting additions such as clothes, passports, photographs and more. Definitely an important history lesson that we should review in our day!

Next came the long trip to the exact opposite side of Manhattan for a Yankees game. While I've always been taught to despise the Yankees, I remembered one thing. My favorite player is a Yankee: Yogi Berra. In fact, I saw someone wearing a tshirt jersey of his and thought long and hard about finding one myself. I remembered I didn't need it, but still. Close call.Besides, the Yanks lost (and I laughed at the fair weather fans), but at least Kathryn and I got to enjoy an important American pasttime.

Yo Brooklyn

2010-08-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

Now I'm just in a New York state of mind or somethin'. I know, I know, cheap shot. But it's so fun to put "yo" in front of words now. In fact, at the Trailer Park Lounge last night, we had gotten into a conversation on how we would find the Cash Cab. Various jokes came into play, and it ultimately looked like I was finding it, pulling it over, taking out whoever was playing while holding a gun cocked sideways (kill shot!) and saying, "Yo cheesecake! Get outta my cab before I show you what's up." Too violent? I was thinking I'd make him an offer he couldn't refuse. bah dum cha!

More importantly, today we went to Brooklyn. The intention was to go to the museum there, but it didn't work out due to time constraints. It's okay though, walking the bridge was a treat in itself as you can see below:Afterwards, we hit up a coal oven pizza joint that's apparently the best NY pizza you could ever have. We waited an hour and a half in line and I started to wonder if they really just made those waiting feel starved and so they wouldn't know the difference. Just kidding. Grimaldi's doesn't have a top rating in Zagat's for nuthin'.Headed back to the Manhattan in order to try for the lottery tickets for West Side Story on Broadway. The way the lottery works (and this is pretty much for every show on Broadway just so you know), is you get to the theater 2.5 hours before the show starts. You put your name in a hat, and at 2 hours before the show, they call out a certain number of names who get orchestra seating (for WSS it was the first row--18 seats). If your name isn't called, then you can try to get tickets otherwise, but not at the discount lottery price.

We didn't win. But by the time we got there I realized how much I really did want to see it, so I was willing to shell out 50 bucks to go. Yeah, I like to live life on the edge. And I'm a fan of dressing up. :D

The play was so much better than what I was expecting. While Maria's voice was a little weak, I adored Tony. The dance sequences too, gasp! They blew me away with how much they utilized the stage space. Back to Tony, his voice during "Maria" gave me chills.

Plenty of great little laugh moments coupled with strong dance numbers and Spanish instead of English by the Sharks--I wanted to shout, "Yo Tony and Anita, that was awesome!"

Yo cheesecake

2010-08-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

Day one and two in New York.

Grandma and Grandpa dropped me off at the airport, and were gracious enough to give me some cash for my taxi ride to Hell's Kitchen, the district where my good friend Kathryn lives. The plan was to drop off my things, then head out maybe to a museum before Kathryn got off work. Thus returns my motto: Be flexible.

It was raining, and there was an accident. So I actually got to the apartment (she had sent me her keys beforehand) right about the time she was getting off work. This worked out for the best, as the keys weren't exactly functioning any way. But I successfully lugged up my life, aka two suitcases, a backpack and a saxophone, four stories to an apartment only slightly bigger than my parents' former abode in Germany. (Kathryn was quite happy to hear that her apartment was comparatively "big.")

We then headed out for dinner at a local place, as Hell's Kitchen district is the home of every type of hole-in-the-wall restaurant you could ask for. We had some delicious Thai where I tested out my taste buds on some of the spiciest they had. Mmm!!

Walked around to Lincoln Center, which is a beautiful little square of high art performances. I hope she posts the pictures from that time soon, so I can share with you. Then a graceful walk to Columbus Circle, at the southwest corner of Central Park (also a location from the movie Enchanted :). Ooh, but the highlight of the evening was the bomoboloni from A Voce Columbus in the Time Warner Center. Holy smokes!

If you can't tell, Kathryn is a food connoisseur. She used to say in college, "I should weigh about 300lbs with the amount of food I eat, but I just happen to have a high metabolism. Don't worry, it'll catch up to me." She's so funny. And yes, I'm working very hard not to gain that much while on this trip--bombolonis are to die for!

The next morning, I awoke in order to meet up with a couple more Northwesterners:I dunno, I just told them, "It's my favorite Asians!" And this is how they posed..

We walked around. Mainly because I insisted so, considering how pleasant the weather was today, as well as enjoying the view of walking through a big city that does situate everything fairly close together. How else could we have walked right by the Chrysler building without noticing it? I must thank the cop from whom I had asked directions, since he responded by pointing in the wrong direction (through a building the opposite direction in fact!). No worries, we found it on our way back, only to find that we can't even go to the top. Lame.Next came the New York Public Library (Ghostbuster's anyone?), Times Square, Rockefeller Center, and lunch at Gray's Papaya. Scratch that. Lunch on the steps of the US Post office, facing Madison Square Garden. I was very happy, as the place served Pineapple juice that I just so happen to love (no reference to Psych involved here).We then walked to High Line Park, which is a renovated rail junkyard basically, that has some decent foliage but more importantly, halfway comfortable benches where all three of us took a very necessary power nap. I awoke to the sound of firetruck sirens. Ah, New York..Followed this up by, gasp, taking the subway. Admittedly, my first time for NYC, as I had just walked around my only other time here 9 years ago, as well. Yes, I looked for the Cash Cab before heading below the streets. Nada. We ended up at MoMA--the Museum of Modern Art. The free ticket Friday starts at 4pm, so since we were early, and I was loaded up on pineapple juice, I requested we find a bathroom first. Josh took us to his place of work close by, but as we were in our street clothes, we couldn't see his cubicle. Dropped by a belgian waffle stand on the way back, but by this point I was full, so I didn't even bother. The line around MoMA wrapped almost all around the block, yet was surprisingly fast. I have Target to thank!

Although the crowd was hard to weave through, I about lost it when I realized Van Gogh's The Starry Night was here. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It's gotta be one of my favorite pieces. Tears certainly crept up, but stayed inside. It is not a very large piece, but I still love the curves and dents of the thickly laid paint. I was happy to see much of Picasso's cubism works there as well; not so pleased with Mondrian or Kandinsky (secretly proud that I knew who these people were. That art class in elementary school paid off! Just kidding, father ;)

We then met up with Kathryn at a great little diner called Trailer Park Lounge. This place is decorated with all the RV specials: a velvet Elvis, paper mache lights, vinyl chairs. They serve delectables like hamburgers, sloppy joes and tater tots. Of course, I went all out by ordering the quesadillas. haha. It was a great time had by all, and the joke about the possibility of yours truly being a robot continued on. They are ridiculous I tell you! 00101101001010.. I mean...Rojas and Josh had to go their separate ways, unfortunately, but I was so glad to see them. Kathryn and I on the other hand, went on to the Upright Citizen's Brigade, an hour-long improv comedy show. Hee-larious. That was some amazing talent. I'm talking, I hardly wanted to laugh, because I wanted to catch everything, and I was just so impressed by their talent!

Not too bad for a day and a half, huh?

As for the title. Rojas, Josh and I were walking through the city and we noticed some filming occurring in an office building above us. So a bunch of trucks for lighting equipment were parked on the narrow street, when a food truck of some sort tried cutting through. The driver calls out to another sitting in a lighting equipment truck, "Yo cheesecake, where's my coffee?!" In the best NY accent you can muster. I can do it for you if you'd like (I love assimilation). Any way, we chuckled about it in mild confusion.

Family

2010-08-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

Currently in San Antonio enjoying the humble abode of Ruben and Elida Quintanilla. It's the second of I guess 4 legs of this journey. The first being hanging out with grandma in Ricardo, the next two being Dublin and Stephenville, Texas--for two very special items of entertainment: sugarcane Dr. Pepper and Baby O. I'm sure there will be pictures.

I'm only kicking myself because I just realized Milena lives in San Antonio. Oh well..

Nevertheless, the best part about visiting family, especially of the Hispanic variety, is that you always feel welcome. I knew I was in the right place after hearing, "So good to see you!" followed by, "Are you hungry? Would you like me to make you something?" I've enjoyed hearing some family stories I hadn't heard before, as well as just basking in the presence of great people to whom I'm privileged to be related. They are all very gracious, very loving. And they know how to cook!

More to come, but just felt the need to write something down. 5 days to NYC!

Ch-ch-changes

2010-08-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

First came the glasses.

Next came the short hair!

What's next? I dunno, but some Dublin Dr. Pepper better be involved!

Post its

2010-07-31T20:50:00.000-07:00

Garage sale went well. Made over $200, by God's grace. Fun story with the trumpet, but I'll get to that eventually. Also almost down to my traveling goal. Must. Get. Rid. Of. More.

Birthday for "Little" William. Best part for any Ward family birthday--crazy birthday singing!!

Saw Killers. It tried too hard to be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Failed, but worth a dollar.

Great conversation with Rachel H and Erin S. Gotta love Northwestern.

Lucas and Jessica are married. It was hot, yet the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens could never disappoint.

Almost halfway through season 5 of Lost. Ridiculous. Addicting. Can't wait to finish.

About to chop off my hairs.

Lunch with Porscha tomorrow!! Praying for her mom's swift recovery from surgery!

Orange pineapple banana juice is delicious.

Mmm what you wear

2010-07-31T19:09:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it's just me that thinks this way, but I always feel that with international travel, I already have one strike against me for being American. I've heard too many stories of friends being yelled at, "You stu-peed Uh-meri-CAHN!" I'm very wary of the rolled eyes, or the cold shoulders when our group is too loud. For safety reasons, too, I want to be careful. I remember my team leader from the Russia trip who said that most Russians could just look at us and know where we were from. It's key, therefore, for me to be more of a chameleon.

Which is why, several months ago, I emailed my Argentinian team leader my concern particularly with clothes. I don't want to bring any more than what everyone else already has, I had decided. I don't want to bring too much; I also don't want to bring things I'm not willing to share. Additionally, I don't need as much any way. I had written down some personal goals at the beginning of this year, and one of them was the goal to reduce my life to two suitcases. I didn't know for sure at the time of the making of this list that I would be traveling as I am, but I had started getting rid of a lot then.

I still have too much. Nonetheless, the following list I received from my team leader helped me think more simplistic:

Clothing
2-3 long sleeve shirts
3-5 short sleeve shirts
2 pairs of shorts
4 pairs of jeans
1 casually-nice outfit
1-2 outfits that can get dirty
Enough underwear
Enough socks
Sneakers, Flip Flops, Flats (1 pair each)
Warm clothes, Pullovers, warm jacket

That's it. Seriously. Yes, for the two years. And yes, I'm thankful it uses the word "enough" for two of the items.

I've been practicing throughout this summer to live with only these items, but I'll admit right now, I have had more clothes usually. The shoe thing has worked out--I've only worn my tennis shoes or TOMs outside of flip flops (not to mention I'm a fan of being barefoot).

I have been blessed. I had a garage sale to encourage me to unload my clothes. I had already put in boxes before coming here what I was willing to sell, and I had gotten rid of at least two boxes of clothes since January (now that I mention that, I'm a little embarrassed that I had so much).

The other beautiful part of this story is that Peggy took me out shopping this week. I thought about what a God thing that she had decided to do so, "In order for you to have at least one pair of nice clothes," she had said. (1 casually-nice outfit: check!) What surprised me too, was that she insisted Banana Republic. I don't remember telling her, but I've told plenty of others that if I had the cash, all of my clothes would come from this store. Okay, I really like the jeans from Old Navy, but everything else.. Banana baby!

Not only that, but Peggy just so happens to be a whiz with the sewing machine. So, instead of buying any other clothes for myself for the trip, I can just have her make alterations on any of my ill-fitting clothing items.

The key is that it makes me even more aware of the clothing items I should keep. If it's so important for me to be unique with my clothes, then I simply need to make sure that the pieces I own are versatile. The dress, for instance, that I picked out, can be dressed down with flip flops, made fun with a scarf, or made super business-y with a blazer. So as not to go into too much detail, I will say that What Not to Wear has helped me think this through.

In the long run, what I wear isn't all that important. I'm a fan of color, but I should be thankful that I have clothes at all. I have enough to keep me cool in the summer, and warm in the winter. Many folk out there may not have the list I was given. Someone once reminded me of the flowers in the field that do not even work to be clothed so majestically. Why must I worry about what I will eat or wear? I'm worth more than those flowers in the sight of God. Just a thought.

A video that makes me smile

2010-07-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

Oh the joys of taking care of Nolan!

Because who knows

2010-07-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

I once played video games with a kid named Orrin. Orrin Parker. He's from middle-of-nowhere Nevada known as Walker Lake. I was in the area for a week, helping out with Vacation Bible School, and I was blessed to spend my first evening in town having dinner with his family. You should have seen how wide his eyes got when I told him my mom worked for GameStop.

For some reason, he didn't think you could be a Christian and play video games. To this day, I don't know where he got that reasoning, but I said that as long as video games doesn't come before God in his life, then it was okay. And sure, you gotta be careful what kind of games you play, but that was another conversation for another day.

So we spent the next hour playing Halo (the original), and he continued to be blown away at the fact a girl knew how to play this game. I guess it was too much for his 12 year old self to handle. I took some time to tell him what Jesus meant to me after we played. I spent the weeks after praying for his heart.

I tell this story because my heart was rejuvenated with the necessity of evangelism in all sorts of forms. This past Sunday, two women gave their stories about noticing God in their lives. They are former Muslims. Their stories reveal the tragedy of the Islamic faith as it does not allow women to be who God created them to be. Instead, they are oppressed, and forced into decisions that ruin their lives.

These women told of the long journey to come to an understanding of who Jesus really was. After all, Muslims believe that Jesus was only a good prophet, and that in his place, another man, most likely Judas, was murdered on the cross.

And during their stories, I could not help but think of Shaheen. Tears fell from my eyes as I thought about how she does not know the Lord, but that it didn't mean He was not pursuing her. I prayed for another dream, but also for a person. A real life person to come to her and tell her about Jesus!

A few weeks after I returned from Nevada, I got a home-made card in the mail from Orrin's mom. She thanked me for spending time with Orrin, and wanted to let me know that He decided to put his faith in Jesus a couple weeks after I had left.

As if that weren't enough, I think it was about a year later I got an email from someone who was praying for my trip to Nevada. Apparently, he had been forwarding my prayer request emails to his father, who wasn't a believer. He emailed me to let me know that because of my experiences, as well as present circumstances, his father had decided to believe as well!

I am not meant to change the world. That is God's business. As Mother Theresa said, "I can do no great thing, only small things with great love." Who knows what your words and your actions mean to a person. I don't think it's an accident that you ran into her, or sat next to him. I can't do it all, but I have been given the chance to pray to the God who can. I'm also not there right now with Orrin, or Shaheen, or my friend's dad. He is.

Please, pray with me.

Consequences

2010-07-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

It's interesting because I'm not very good at chess.

I love the game, but I prefer playing it fast. I don't think much about my moves, and I like to challenge the other player to do the same. "Just play," I tell them. My few memorable moments include when Chris would beat me mercilessly on the chess set I bought with grandma's Christmas money; or the time James almost beat Matt in 4 moves. I love watching people play on the streets, especially when they have a timer. I'll never forget the guy who stood up from his chair, knowing he had lost, even though it was several moves away.

What makes that game best is when you can see ahead of the next move.

"It's twelve moves away, but it's there. You've got him."

I think of these characters in the show Lost and I think about the different moves that brought them to the island. Beyond that, their life experiences cause them to make the decisions they do. Most of them are ridden with guilt, even more of them have trust issues. They interact with each other (and the "Others") in pretty foolish ways.

There are times we ask God for things because we think it's a great next move, but we haven't looked much beyond that. In many cases, if God were to give us what we ask, someone else gets hurt. Tolstoy wrote a short story about a woman who was angry because God took away her child. She was immediately given a glimpse of what his life would have been like, and she realizes that the world was saved by his death. That he was saved too, by getting to die in his innocence.

I thank God that He doesn't listen to me very often when it comes to the things I want. Nonetheless, it is still difficult to discern what I'm supposed to ask for. What exactly is my life supposed to look like, then?

Maybe that's what Sarah was thinking when she offered Hagar to her husband.

It's scary to think of the consequences, when everything is said and done. To look back and see, "Oh, that's what brought me here."

I play chess rather quickly, but I hate living life that way. If I don't stop to think what I've done, or what I'm doing, I might turn into something ugly and/or foolish. Perhaps having begun Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis also makes me think this way. I don't want to be so far gone that there is no hope in turning back.

On the one hand, I think God's grace is bigger than that and that there is always hope. But on the other, it's so hard to watch, metaphorically speaking, dogs returning to their own vomit. To know that I too, am just one or two decisions away from destroying myself. Praise God for being ever-present. I pray I keep listening, keep wanting to listen. Oh to have the patience to see the twelve moves played out!

Run in with nature

2010-07-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

I've been feeding the ducks at the local pond lately. Today I had a bunch of leftover hot dog buns that I, and sharing with some little ones who were playing at the park, fed to our winged friends. Little ducklings came along too, so I made sure they got some. Gotta be honest to say I got freaked out by the geese who had horns on their bills coming to get some of the bread. One of them kept squealing at me, and I think he (she?) thought it was cute. Just. Don't. Make. Eye. Contact...

The coolest part was when I got the Aflac ducks (you know, the white feathered ones?) super close to me. I notice they're more fearless. Any way, similar to the fish in Grand Cayman, they got so close, they started pecking at my toes thinking it was bread too. It didn't hurt. It tickled actually. But I also figured that was probably my sign to go, so I did.

On my runs over the past weeks, I've found a route along Morris and 3040. Last week, I looked down at one point only to see a snake! And then a little bit later to see a frog! The frog wasn't as scary to me, as I think I fall more along the lines of Indiana Jones' fear. But then the next day, I noticed the exact same two creatures still in the path, so I realized there really wasn't anything to be afraid of.

Today was a first. I took a longer route than normal and BAM!!! Spider web to the face!! It must have been spun between the trees. All I know is it made me shriek and I did what I could to get it off my face, and I brushed through my hair in hopes no spiders found a new nest! Yikes!

At least 2

2010-07-18T20:10:00.001-07:00

I've decided that every summer there must be at least two weddings for me to attend. Something about the talk of covenant love and then all the dancing just makes me all warm inside.

The first for this summer was Matt and Autumn's wedding held at the Adolphus hotel in Dallas. It was beautiful, and of course with a little sass, as the brothers Pinckard all wore their hair in the traditional mohawk style. hehe. Well, and the amazing retro yet vintage wedding dress sported by the beautiful Autumn! Wowza.

I met up with so many people! And getting to bring Nolan along gave me a LOT more conversation starters:

"No. I'm not married."

"No. This isn't MY kid."

My favorite was probably with Lucas as at one point I had let Lauren Tucker hold Nolan while I grabbed something from the diaper bag. Lucas shouted, "Sharayah!" Hug. Then me, "I'm sorry, I have to find my baby."

"YOURS!?!"

"I mean, ah! My nephew."

It was wonderful seeing everyone. I mean just about everyone too. I still have yet to see the Lunas, but I can now include the Proctors, the Barclays, the Pinckards (naturally), Alisha Avara, Samariah and Andrea, the Saathoffs, the Adams (as in Patricia and Ken), the rest of the Bakers and Jacksons, etc. etc. Another group that could be listed in attendance I had already seen at the 4th of July celebration. In conclusion--so fun!!

Perhaps the best moment, other than everyone wanting to hold my precious nephew (understandably so), was the cupid shuffle. I brought Nolan along with me to the dance floor, and he fell asleep to all the rocking. Silly boy!!

Unfortunately, having to take care of a kid means I didn't get to snap any photos. Hopefully when the pictures are put up, I'll include one that made me laugh. But shhh, I can't spoil it!!

A little Lost

2010-07-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

I had been contemplating watching all the episodes of that strange tv show I kept hearing about from others. Janna insisted I do so, saying there were so many faith messages, that I couldn't miss out.

So I started last night. I'm already 7 episodes into the first season (Don't worry, I still did something with my day). When I first heard the music, something inside me stirred. And then the name J.J. Abrams popped onto the screen as one of the head producers and writers and I knew I was in for a treat! (He's the guy who directed Star Trek: The Future Begins).

I've braced myself for the times when I won't know what's going on; I've been properly warned about how frustrating seasons 3 and 4 are (must remember the writers' strike at the time). With that said, I'm ready for a ride.

And so far, well pleased. I'm enjoying the storytelling, and the wide variety of characters. My favorite is probably Charlie, and that's not just because my peluche pinguino is named so, but it does help. I have a feeling that the line between good and bad characters is coming soon, so I hold on to my favorite loosely.

Living for that moment

2010-07-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

Another week has ended (though I guess not officially), and it brings me to only 52 days until Argentinian life begins. Only 27 days until all the insane traveling kicks off. Only 2 days until I get to hang out with Nolan! :D

This week I learned a lot. And I'll include my only recommended scene from the movie The Back Up Plan which I saw with my sister-in-law.Anthony Anderson (paraphrased): Having kids is kind of like this: it's REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD.. and then there's this beautiful moment--
Alex O'Laughlin: --that makes it all worthwhile?
Anthony: Naw man. But it's a great moment. And after that it's REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD!!! And then you have another great moment.

Welcome to my life this week. I'm optimistic about how it went, though I won't deny it was tough. I've mentioned a lot of what I wished for before, but I'll add something else about what was watched on tv/movies. For this last day, I had a moment where I just prayed with them. I asked God to help us to love each other well, and to encourage each other. Soon after the prayer I made the rule where there would be no more physical fighting, no more using the words "Shut up" and no more calling each other names for the rest of the day. The punishment was time out, for which the time in the corner during time out would increase throughout the day. As a reward, I took them to a movie. A funny movie, don't get me wrong, but one in which these three things happened:

-The "minions" kept hitting each other (hint, hint)
-They called each other idiots.
- They said "shut up."

Talk about frustrating. I remember talking with Liz about the movie Up, and how the themes in that movie were not exactly younger generation appropriate at times. She mentioned how scary it would be to have your hero as a young kid turn out to be the enemy, and I realized I had never thought of it that way.

Things change when there's a kid involved.

Got to talk with Catie (Marshalek) Skogen tonight about some of this, as she too has a bun in the oven (hooray!). She realized how tight of a rein she and her husband will need to place on her tongue when their little girl comes into the world.

And it's not like kids pick up on all these things, but we must be careful about what they do. I was always impressed with Yolanda for protecting Noah from certain tv shows because of their teenager themes. While most kids are aiming to be teenagers, it's much more important that they be kids. You only get to be so once!

Talking with Catie was refreshing, as well as a short 3-mile run to end the day. Looking forward to resting tomorrow.

I hate traffic

2010-07-15T16:44:00.001-07:00

I have a friend that's very intuitive. She noticed that I haven't been writing in my blog lately. That's saying a lot, as it's not even been a week. Yet, when I leave for the field, I want to be sure that I'm consistent so that it will not be too difficult of a transition. Plus, I read this great book, or rather the introduction to a great book, that talked about the reason that we write things down. It has a lot to do with defining how you're feeling, but then also lashing out on paper versus a person.

And don't you worry, I have a separate, secret notebook for the lashing out thing. I won't talk through my frustrations about folk on this.

What? I'm a youth worker, not a saint.

I will bring up the main thing that's been on my mind this week. It goes back to a topic I always have on the back burner. The concept is camp ministry. The short term, the, how can you make a difference in someone's life slash how can you expect a difference in your life after only a week, thing.

Because I'm babysitting these kids this week, and most of it just doesn't feel right. It's so difficult to watch kids react with violence. I wonder if it's the only way they can get attention. Or I wonder if fighting is all they know to get their way (which for the record, doesn't work with me).

Then there are other things I see, such as the standard of living for these guys. I wish they had a father. I wish that they had a working fridge and dishwasher. I washed the dishes by hand today, which isn't the issue. It's that they had to be washed after they came out of the dishwasher. So maybe they don't need a dishwasher? I've seen that work before.

Yet, there's another rub. All the t.v.! I wish they had more than one board game (we've already played that!), and more group games that didn't require a video console. But it's too hot to play outside (when one of them has asthma). They have this Nerf sword.. haha.. the concept of a Nerf sword has boggled my mind this whole week. The thing doesn't cut, but can sure hurt if you wield it correctly.

The tv shows are all about boys and girls liking each other. I guess I get that when you're in middle school (which even then is too young), but these kids haven't even left elementary school! Why do certain kids have to grow up too fast?

All this to say that I only have a week. Now, I only have 10 hours left. We've spent some time at the library, but I'm the one doing most of the reading. I did get to talk through the punishment of timeout with one of the kids. And I got to explain the story of Zaccheus with another. Little gems, which I know matter, but still are so small.

It's like that metaphor of fixing a stab wound to the heart with a bandaid. It tries to cover up the much bigger problem at hand. Namely, that someone is gonna die.

What do I do???

Another one

2010-07-11T14:13:00.000-07:00

To include another important detail, I got to meet with a friend from Northwestern who's headed out for Haiti this coming week. Please be in prayer for our sister Ashley as she helps with Earthquake damage as well as college-focused ministry for the next three weeks! I'm excited to get back in touch with her after that time (before I leave) to hear the stories! I promise to share them too.

Pictured above however, is not Ashley, but Porscha!! We go way back. As in since 1st grade. When I reminded her of this fact, she said, "Dang, we're old!" But I just said, "Shh! No one has to know!!" hehe

We met at Jason's Deli where we got to catch up on all of the travels thus far in our lives. She's been to Rome, and studied abroad in Australia for a semester. The stories are hilarious, as well as beautiful. She talked of surfing off the coast of Aussie land, and it caused me to become more excited for my chance to surf off the coast of Ireland with Ariel in a month!! Wooo!!

What I also loved about catching up is seeing her story unfold. She talked of not being ready for marriage, but that opportunities in her life to serve others and become less selfish kept popping up for her. I listened in awe as she told the story of taking care of some elderly couples, and I was convicted of my need to reach out to more people who aren't able to help themselves. What was it said in James chapter 1?

Porscha was kind enough to let me have four tickets to the baseball game Thursday night, and this picture is of us after the game. She warms up the outfielders, you see, so we (me, Terra and Billy) got great seats. Unfortunately, however, Rangers lost to the worst team in baseball. C'mon boys!!

Unnecessary details

2010-07-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

I am a story teller. In fact, I wonder if it's one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit that just doesn't happen to be listed. And by stories, I don't mean lies or tall tales. I mean that there are important events in our lives that need to be told well. You know those annoying people who say, "No!!! You're not telling it right!!"?

That's me.

And sometimes I include too many details. But for me, the details make the story.

I warn you that the story you're about to read is highly personal, and may mean nothing to you. It's just that the details matter. And to quote Richard quoting me, "I'm just sayin'."

The girl in the picture with me, the picture where I kind of look like I'm bald. The picture where I'm smiling funny--the girl is named Ashley. We met at Mardel, where we both worked for a ridiculously long time making very little money. We loved it mainly because we got to goof off a lot. I loved it because I got to borrow a lot of the Philip Yancey and Donald Miller books, read them, and then return them to the shelf.

Ashley always had spunk. That's what I'll call it. Others might call it sass. I would always retort with something off the wall though, and we would just laugh about it. We also shared a lot of embarrassing stories from our times working. Such as the time she fell on her face when trying to point out a book with her toe to a customer. In her defense, it was crazy to have such low shelves. Or the time I jumped into the trash compactor for a "wedding" ring. Or the time I fell off the scaffolding and I was more mad that nobody saw me to laugh than was I mad at actually falling.

Or the time I thought a customer was asking for the books about sex, but she was really asking for the Homeschooling program called Saxon.

Thinking back, maybe it was really me who had the embarrassing stories.

We also hung out together outside of work. She remembered a lot more of the details than I was expecting when we met for lunch the other day. She remembered one of my ex-boyfriends to which I responded, "Yeeeeahh.. not a shining moment for me." She also remembered our Mondays at Wendy's, which is why we met at Wendy's this time too. Should have included my Frosty cup in the picture! D'oh!

Ashley was the person I went on my first ever, without adults road trip. We talked about how fun that was. With the guy who told us about his friend who got hit by lightning while horseback riding. We were in the midst of horseback riding at the time, so you know.. comforting. And from there we launched into what has been happening in our lives ever since.

Mainly, what God has been showing us. There are things about us still very much the same. I kept thinking about how silly I still am, with the way I think about kids. She has two now, and talked about what it's like to be a mom. We talked about changing diapers, as I've done a few more these days with Nolan. We laughed at all that comes with that. I got to ask her what she's learned about herself now, as a married woman for five years. Even as she talked about what God's taught, I could sense the change.

It gives me goosebumps to talk to the ones who do grow up. To see how she's been pliable to God's will for her life. How she's become more unselfish in the way she makes decisions. To see her still have a little bit of that sass, but to also see how humbled she's been by being in a covenant relationship with her husband Steven. I'm looking forward to staying in touch with this one, even if it's just once every few years. We've had a lot of laughs together, and I really admire who she is, who she will be.

Plus, we pulled off one of the best pranks ever, and I will never forget it!!! I'm just sayin'.

Ultimate thoughts

2010-07-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

Haha. No, I'm not being pretentious. It's not as though I'm saying, "Dude!" (which I'm not allowed to call my dad any way), "my thoughts are like.. the ultimate." sigh.

I just got back from a pick up game of ultimate frisbee. Literally, I drove away smiling because of how much fun that was. I've been playing almost every Monday since I got back (last week it was raining), and I have met so many people who love the game, and aren't half bad either. I'm not too good, as I only played every now and then in college, and semi weekly in Colorado. Oh how I miss Colorado's soft grass, on which we would always play barefoot. Any who..

Today was a fun nine on nine game. Had a few assists for goal, and in general got some good passes to me. Not bad for being one of two girls on the field. I praise God that they included me a few times. Plus, I didn't get my run in for the day, so I made it mostly about being the first down the field every time.

In other news, had some fun feeding the ducks at the nearby pond. Found a turtle, but couldn't decide what to name him. Swung on the swing set (naturally). Read the latest from the Ammerman library, The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom. Suddenly contemplating a short stop to a certain watch shop in Haarlem, Netherlands!

Oh, and to round off the evening, finished disc one of LOTR. Just to remind myself that I'm a nerd, and that if Kendra weren't in Alaska, I'd demand she drop by!

Choo

2010-07-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

What was it he said?

It was on the Denver Mission Trip. This older gentleman was to be our guide for a prayer walk down the infamous Colfax street. We would stop at places like Planned Parenthood (got yelled at by a passerby on that one), a gay bar, some nude dance bar, adult stores, and finally, Denver's capitol, in order to pray. We stopped at a couple dumpsters, and the man told us of his former life as a dumpster diver. Doing whatever he could to get by. Oh! That's what he said!

"It's not abow choo."

Translation: the world is not revolving around us. Louie Giglio said it well in a video we watched this morning of his sermon about hope--God's got a huge mosaic story going on here. It would be unfair to focus on a single square piece.

Funny. Just this morning I was thinking about why we like the early stages of a romantic relationship. In the midst of them, we get deceived into thinking that it IS all about you and me. About the story of how we met; about the cute things we are doing for each other. Etc. We talk about, think about, and dream about the relationship and all it can be or is.

I started to wonder if the reason we, or to get personal, I, like the beginnings of a relationship brewing is because it is the moment that I finally feel like God is paying attention to me. Hard to confess, but I must say I can believe this lie. At that moment, grace is turned on it's head and I become that stupid Pharisee who feels like she's deserved the "gift" of relationship; so thankful she is not like that sinner in the back beating his chest and declaring, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!"

Which makes me think about how next time can be different. Or to be content, to be truly satisfied, if there is no next time.

Ha! Suddenly reminded of a snippet I saw of Star Wars: Episode 1 where Qui-Gon Jinn tells Obi-Wan to not be caught up in the future at the expense of fully living the present moment. Those jedis always have wise things to say!

In all seriousness, I have been personally challenged to remember others more than myself. To look up, as it were, instead of looking in. Because it's not about choo, or me, for that matter. It's about how truly incredible God is, and how He has this good, pleasing, and perfect plan for our lives.

To think of when God tells Abraham to look to the heavens. Or the countless times David does so in the Psalms. How in their moments of confusion or pain, when they looked to the Creator, peace came.

To remember that Abraham and David were just regular people that allowed God to work through them so that they weren't just successful, but significant. To see how the choices they made, particularly the ones where they choose to obey God, have a lasting impact on our world today. Can I get an amen?

The man leading the prayer walk was encouraging us to pray more for others. I'm reading a book about how it's not important just to be good, but to do good. I'm challenged to let my prayer and my actions walk hand in hand for the sake of the gospel. The good news:

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me

because he has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim

freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to release the oppressed,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.

(taken from Isaiah, but used in Luke 4:18-19)

I apologize for the horrible grammar, as always, included in this post. I will not apologize if any of these words made you think, or to live differently. Or even if they made you angry.

The fundamentals

2010-07-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

Working with little tikes is not my forte. It sure is a lot of fun though. This week reminded me of my eight weeks in the Reno area teaching VBS from week to week. I remembered how the first day is always a little rough because the kids are learning to trust you as someone in authority. By day 2, things are usually a lot better, and by the final days, you're thankful it's over only because of how much energy is spent.
After all, the kids are crazy and goofy and have about a thousand times more energy than you do. Nonetheless, if I had that much energy, I would love to keep going. It's cool to see their hearts. And on a less spiritual aspect, I LOVE watching them pass the ball to each other like a team, and watching their excitement when their teammates score. As Jacob (first in the line below) said, "I get the assist for that one, right!?"

I also remembered how much we need to encourage the students. We need to remember to be firm, but to also follow up the reprimands with love. How many times I had to stop a kid from travelling or double-dribbling with a shout, and to also say, "I want to see you become an even better basketball player than you already are--that's why I have to stop you from making the same mistake twice."
Kids are great. Sports ministry is also great. I hope I get to do some of this in Argentina, even if it is futbol!

Smirk / yuzz

2010-06-29T17:59:00.000-07:00

Combo stealing from the Jill Bradford column(s).

Harrison, age 8: I play video games, and I think I turned out all right.

Patina, teacher: So what are ways that we can become friends with Jesus?
Mason, age 7: Ask our moms!

The Picture of Dorian Gray. I tell you, this one was a doozy. All the talking from chapter to chapter made finishing slow to come by. I will say that the combination of this book and watching two "Miss Marples" from Masterpiece Collection, made for a fun reading of Exodus' first couple chapters in my weak Irish accent. Where's Bonnie Gager when you need her?
Nonetheless, going all the way through the short novel is worthy of anyone's time. For me, I read the theme of sin's stronghold on the soul. Of the small idea that leads into a life of vanity, that leads into much more sin, and to see that sin affecting the community.

To me it is also a story of a need for confession. How much sin weighs on our conscience, and is in need of a gracious listening ear. I think of people who may be distraught by their own sin and the lie that entraps them consists of the unwillingness of our Father to forgive. How far from the truth! How do we lovingly remind people (and ourselves) that God will forgive us? I feel like one of the obstacles is this thing called guilt. I've seen it affect my own life, thinking that what I've done is too great.

Jesus is greater.

Confess, therefore, because He is faithful and just.

Finally, this is a story of choosing your friends wisely. I had to stop myself a few times to remember that a certain character truly is despicable. While what he says is nothing short of honey, it comes with the sting of death! Be careful who you listen to, even.. especially when it sounds pretty!

Weird

2010-06-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

Upward Basketball camp started this week. I'm blessed to get to help out this year, along with fellow Lakeland Baptist friends such as Danielle Presley, Lisa Ridinger, Zach Cast and.. duhn duhn duhn!!! Cailey Cantwell!!

What??? Are you kidding me?? I held Cailey as a baby and now she's driving me to Wendy's for our lunch break?! I couldn't get over it.

The first half of the day, I got the third grade team, while the second half of the day I have a fourth grade team. I easily forget how complicated basketball is and, as I was telling the Ammermans, it's difficult to know what part of the game to focus on during our 15 minute practices before our scrimmages. There's offensive positions, defense, shooting, passing, half court rules, passing, dribbling, other rules. And yes, passing is a big deal to me, because it's so tiring to watch players hold onto the ball all to themselves. I'm happy to say that the fourth grade team did give every person a chance to shoot, even the kid who has autism!

I can use your prayers. As I told my Sunday school group, I haven't worked with kids in awhile, so I'm in need of patience and wisdom when it comes to dealing with discipline. This is a great group of kids though, and I'm excited to see what God does through the week!

Got tickets??

2010-06-26T20:37:00.001-07:00

More like, got enough tickets. This doesn't cover my ticket to NYC, but it does have NYC -->London -->Dublin -->Amsterdam -->Rome -->Buenos Aires -->Cordoba.

Oh international travel..

I guess it's also called hope

2010-06-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

At Wednesday's Bible study, we talked about God's omnipresence. We looked at Jeremiah 23:23-24:

Am I only a God nearby, declares the Lord,

and not a God far away?
Can anyone hide in secret places
so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord.
Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord.

As we spent time talking about what it means for God to be with us at all times, we talked about our feelings of loneliness. When we are lonely, we can be comforted in knowing God--the one who truly cares for us--is there too. Maybe we don't experience joy in those times, but we aren't completely lost.

Christy put it well when she said it was the difference between being sad and being in despair. On one hand, we can be overwhelmed by the feeling of sadness and also know it will not last forever. On the other hand, in utter despair there is no hope for the future because of not believing in a loving God who knows what's best for us.

All this was encouraging to me, and I didn't want to forget it.

Adventures in baby sittin'

2010-06-25T21:32:00.000-07:00

I realized that Nolan loves to be taken for a walk. Indoors, mind you, as this Texas heat would be too much for him. But just walking around the bottom floor of the Ammerman house is quite lovely (same route I take when talking with awesome people like Ariel and Sara!).

So next thing I know, Nolan is asleep. And since there were some rather important soccer games on today, I decided to stop the walk and rest on the couch. Nolan did that cute thing babies do, where they get in the fetal like position and rest on their stomachs on your chest. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Adorable.

Until about 45 minutes later when you feel something warm on your stomach. "Wake up time!" I said, as I lifted Nolan so as to stop the pee from getting all over me.

But of course, since he's my nephew, and he's only three months old now, I still have to deem the experience as cute. I do however, earn the right to tease him about this in the coming years.

Baby sittin

2010-06-23T14:41:00.001-07:00

One of the best parts of being home and not having much on my plate is the excuse to hang out with this guy.That's right. "Favorite" Aunt Sharayah gets her quality time with little sobrino Nolan!

Today was the first time I've heard him really cry, which was so.. dare I say it? Cute. Beth had told me that she was only giving him 2 ounces every two hours because of how much he was spitting up. For those of you who don't know, Nolan has been struggling to gain weight. So to remedy the sadness, I gave him another ounce and a half, because honestly I didn't know what else to do.

Sure enough, he's falling asleep, while smiling and sucking on the bottle. His eyes are so big and bright, I'm just staring back and happy that he's happy. But here's the catch, before he can fall asleep he's gotta burp. I even tell him, "You know little buddy, I'm gonna need--"

BUUUUUURRRRRPPPPP!!!

I was in the midst of setting up to pat his back when this came out. Probably a good 4.7 of the richter scale. Then I let him fall asleep on my stomach. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

I thought I'd also include how energetic he was before the big cry. I think he's gonna grow up to be very active. Runner? Soccer player (as he was watching the US game at the time)? Baseball player? Only time will tell..

Finances

2010-06-20T16:58:00.001-07:00

You know what doesn't make sense? The way God provides.

The other day I realized I needed to purchase the front half of the tickets for getting to Cordoba. It's quite a journey when I need to go to Amsterdam first for a conference (though I suppose meeting up with NYC friends and then spending a week with the parents overseas also adds to it). Any way, what I'm trying to say is it isn't cheap.

Well, I've been praying over this transaction for awhile. I've been watching all the airline prices as they steadily drop, so that I can get the best deal. Thankfully with one generous gift from a church family, as well as some reimbursed purchases from the Denver Mission Trip, I thought that the time to buy was soon.

But it was a funny feeling. I just woke up with a compelling need to buy the plane tickets. I can't really explain it, but prayed a bit more and then went to double check that I had the funds for the purchase. If I didn't, then I had planned to take some out from savings for buffer. No big deal, except that it meant I would have to wait a couple more days for the transfer to come through.

Only, what did I find? Another generous gift! It wasn't from family, but it was from "family" if you catch my drift. And here's the kicker: the cost of the plane tickets were completely covered by this deposit!! Can you believe that? I was astounded and extremely grateful.

Because even in the midst of knowing you're supposed to be doing something, it's helpful to be encouraged along the way. Opposition is sure to come (and in some ways, has), but there are just those moments where you know what you're doing is right. Also, hard to explain, but the book of Nehemiah has been my point of reference.

In another small way, I had been given a cash gift which I used for gas and food with friends since I've gotten here. I just ran out of that cash, only to be given the exact same amount by another family friend.

Now, there's a point at which I wonder if I'm supposed to take this money. I'm always thankful, and I try not to take advantage of the givers, nor do I like spending the money unwisely.. but at some point does it become too much?

I think of a couple things. Of a Christian woman who felt called to walk across America. She had wanted to raise support for her journey, but the money didn't come. Compelled to go on any way, she promised God that she wouldn't look at her checking account during the entire walk. She would spend the night at churches and have plenty of conversations with folks, asking them to support, but never wanting to know how much she was given. It also wasn't her priority. Her priority for the walk was praying and telling others about Jesus. When her and her mom reviewed the finances for that summer, over $10,000 had gone in and out of the account.

I think also of how much I want to give back. But I don't have anything, other than my time, to give. And I try to make sure my motivation behind volunteer work, or things of that nature are not done for attention, but because I want to remember that God first gave his time and attention and love to me.

I'm hardly perfect with my motivations, but I think God's changing me. I'm looking forward to the times when I will get to support others even more, though I have to realize it probably won't be as much financially. It's encouraging to remember the gift of the widow in Luke 21.

Ten cuidado, amigo

2010-06-18T21:28:00.001-07:00

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over--

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

I've given much time thinking about the deferred dream today. I pray for those who might be settling.

I praise God for the hours spent with Christy hanging out at my aunt's school today, too. Then to Clue with a few others from Rock Pointe after that (oh and I suppose I can't forget the Chick Fil A!!!).

And what a blast to watch The 39 Steps with momma and poppa Ammerman. That is all.

The system

2010-06-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

After a week of letting the effects of the Denver Mission trip brew, I have something to say.

1 in every 4 homeless person in Denver is a Vietnam veteran. I wrote about two of them I met here. I wrote about the strikes against them.

There are other obstacles for most homeless people. Yes, some of them make a choice that leads them there. But what does it take to turn around? As we had performed a community scavenger hunt last week, I got a few of my questions answered.

Rhetorical situation. Former alcoholic wants to stop what he's doing. We'll say he's single for simplicity sake--less people in the equation usually makes it easier to get out of homelessness, but let's be honest with ourselves and recognize this is not usually the case.

Loss of income to alcoholism probably means loss of job. Without income, rhetorical man probably didn't have a chance to pay health insurance any more. The system for most homeless shelters requires negative results of a TB test. Okay, most free clinics in Denver supply those. Man goes to said clinic only to find out he has a lot of paper work to fill out. Identification is necessary, but over time he had lost his wallet. Time to find ID.

There's a place for that too. But it means more paperwork. And it means more time. Don't forget that transportation is out the window because he can't afford a car anymore. Two options: he can take the bus or he can walk. Obviously, walking takes longer, but it is free. Then we have to consider the weather. If it's cold, and man doesn't have good clothing, the walk takes even longer. If it's hot, you better make sure he's well hydrated.

Hmm.. even the local McDonalds is charging 50 cents for water these days.

Okay, man has an option for reduced fair because of his situation. However, that takes more time, and more paperwork. He'll walk. He walks. Getting identification takes a few days, a few stamps of approval. All this so he can fill out the paperwork for the TB test he needed in the first place.

Man makes it to the clinic and realizes there's a line. Perhaps he showed up near the closing hours and they had to turn him away. No offense rhetorical man. So he returns the next day, but still is forced to wait a couple hours.

You could say that you would do what you had to. Need I remind you how upset you get when someone cuts you off in traffic, delaying you a mere 15 seconds? Don't tell me you wouldn't get frustrated with this system. Especially not when you're used to making a doctor's appointment, showing up, and you're out within a half an hour.

The TB test is administered, but can not be read for another 48-72 hours. That's time that can be used for finding a job. But how does he get to those places of work in order to fill out an application (hey! more paperwork!)? And in the mean time, where is he going to sleep? What if the clinic asks about his alcohol problem? What if he's forced into substance treatment?

Substance treatment on the street is dangerous. His body struggles with the flushing of his system (and we haven't mentioned how the weather might affect this). The withdrawal systems might lead to panic attacks, depression.. Physically he may find himself vomiting and in tremors. Let's say he falls asleep on a park bench from exhaustion (where did he get the food in the first place?). The police come and say he can't do that. Perhaps he gets off with a warning. Perhaps they think he's on drugs because of the culminating withdrawal systems.

You wanna just throw him into a rehabilitation center don't you? Well, that takes money, my friend.

Perhaps the cops throw him in jail. A place to sleep? Maybe. Depends on who's in there too.

What options are there to making money for food? There's begging. So he begs. I've seen and heard of those who get stuck in the cycle of begging. At first they face a lot of rejection and it brings them down. But then the rejection doesn't faze them anymore. Can you imagine what that does to a person? It's like the child who's told he's ugly all his life. He's not, by the way, but after hearing it so many times, he starts to believe it's true.

Begging can also be destructive if it works. What was it I heard said? "The worst thing I ever did was pick up that cardboard sign." The man had gotten so used to it, that he no longer had ambition. That's no good either.

Another option could be collecting cans. That probably includes dumpster diving. When we had gone on the scavenger hunt, one student had to reach through poop just to get three cans. Each group worked to collect 25 cans (which not every group was successful, I might add). When they went to turn in the cans they got a whopping 20 cents. It used to bring in about 50 cents (enough for water at McDonalds?), but the economy has brought down the cost for aluminium.

Are you tired yet?

People do sleep in dumpsters, but they'll often get skin infections and diseases from doing so.

How many days until rhetorical man is actually capable of staying in a shelter? One for which he had to wait in another line for, and had to walk to, and fill out more paperwork.

How will he get housing? Excuse me, how will he get approved for housing so he can then apply for housing? What will his job be? How likely will someone hire a former alcoholic who smells funny? Who perhaps spent a night in jail for presumably attempting to overdose on drugs? How much rejection to housing, begging, etc. can one person take before it's not worth the fight anymore?

All this for the man who wants to turn his life around. I'm not saying it should be a cake walk, but let's remember our first statistic and think about the ones who have served our country. The statistic is coming close to adding fighters from the Middle East too.

May we also not forget our state before Christ took us in. May we remember that Christ was homeless:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me...

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. (from the passage in Matthew 25:31-46)

Also untitled

2010-06-14T22:50:00.001-07:00

How could this day get any better, I ask.

It started off with a lovely cereal breakfast and some restful reading/hang out time. Then the wonderful doorbell rang! It was Beth, who was letting me watch Nolan for a few hours. Which turned into them staying for dinner. Ahh! Nolan is amazing. His smile is so big, and his eyes are open more now. But surely my favorite part was getting to hold him while he rested on my shoulder. Precioso!

After dinner, I got to play some ultimate frisbee with a bunch of strangers. Always a good time. Scored a couple. Got scored on a couple ;)

Then met up with, check this group out: Shake'n'Bake, Macchu, and (trumpet call) JERIAH!!! No way dude!! I'm so stoked to get to spend more time with him (as well as the others) this summer.

Then went to Matt's place to watch our old music videos we made in high school. Good ole nostalgia. Then, and quite unexpectedly, had a very good life conversation. As you may of guessed, I'm a fan of those.

I'm looking forward to Bible study, dinner with the uncle and aunt, as well as hiking tomorrow!

Reconnecting

2010-06-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

First of all, go see the A-Team movie. It is hilarious and ridiculous. Probably one of the funniest movies I've seen in awhile. At least for one that was intending to be funny (ahem.. Robin Hood.. cough).

More importantly, I just got back from a 3 hour conversation with one of my favorite high school friends' mom. I figured since I was in the neighborhood I would just run over to her place and catch up. Absolutely beautiful, and only about 3 miles away.

What an amazing woman and encouragement. Thank you God for people like her! I look forward to the rest of the summer if it means making reconnections like this one!

But now I must shower. I stinketh!

Oh, and props to Geo who went searching for me after I had been gone for so long. I felt bad since I don't take my phone with me. We're good now, but it meant a lot and I'm thankful for that too. The End.

A little taste

2010-06-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

Had lunch with Manny Ramirez.

Walked Colfax a few times in the evening times.

Answer to prayer for a student--blew me away!

Was asked if I had a crack pipe.

Got to play basketball for the first time in forever, and even kayaked a little.

But now I need to sleep and get ready for the road ahead. I am so thankful for how wonderful the Denver Mission Trip was, as well as how it was my final moments with 4Cs.

Also. I will have to come back some day.

Scorcese vs. Potter

2010-06-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

So there have been things in life that I simply haven't given a chance. By things I mean popular culture entertainment items that are often here today, gone tomorrow. However, I admit that some of them last a lot longer. The following list is my example:

Lost
High School Musical
Twilight
24
Harry Potter

Well last night, a family invited me to watch the first Harry Potter movie with them. I was hesitant at first, but when they explained to me that the mom and dad had gotten into the books because of their kids enthusiasm, I agreed. I am all for parents working to understand their children and better communicate with them. And even when I enjoyed dinner with this wonderful family earlier this week, it was cool for them to take time to talk about their favorite characters (and why) from the novels.

Results: predictable. I called what the mirror was about; I figured out the bad guy. While special effects were pretty cool, it was all sort of (at least in my mind), the typical magical stuff. As Noah would probably say at this point, "No offense." Seriously too, this is my opinion.

While I understand that there is more to the story--hence seven books--I really would care less to follow the long tale of how Harry Potter eventually kills Voldemort. Or at least that's my guess of the ending.

Here's the more intense reasoning though, other than just predictability.

The movie glorifies the life of wizardry. And if you pay attention, there are all sorts of subtle hints of cult life involved. They make fun of "regular" humans by calling them Muggles. They aren't allowed to do magic outside of Hogwarts, but they do it any way. Yes, they say that each wizard has the potential to be bad, but it feels more like a we-have-to-say-this-to-appease-the-parents sort of thing. After all, it is the very professor who is supposed to help you avoid the dark arts that is on the bad guys' team.

I'm just saying it makes me nervous.

It made me think of the very violent Scorcese films I've watched, particularly The Departed and Goodfellas. Don't those just glorify violence? One could argue.

But I'll respond with this. In both of those movies, we are given a picture of mob life. Goodfellas makes an excellent point as to why someone joins the mob in the first place--it's a place where Ray Liotta has a family he can depend on. But in the end he wants out.

The dramatic changes in DiCaprio's character make it very clear that mob life is not the way to go. In both cases, I have no more sense of curiosity to bring me to want that way of living at all. The violence actually affects me in a positive way if you will.

On the other hand, with the Potter series, children get excited about picking a house team (Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gryffendor). They get excited to ride the rides at Universal Studios where they're riding a magic broom. Etc., etc.

And I'm sorry, but that scares me.

Any way, I need to go finish up the final details for this week's mission trip. I wanted to write before I forgot that I wanted to. Thanks for listening, and feel free to argue.

What to do

2010-06-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ever since I made a personal pact not to buy any more movies, I realized that I really do just own movies I really love and can watch over and over. While coming close to finishing with my packing, I've watched two more--X-Men 2 and The Count of Monte Cristo. The messages about life alone are enough.

Nonetheless, I don't need to take this many with me to Argentina. So I've given some away, and have sold a couple more. Should I wait till the end of the summer to let go of the rest? I've already decided that I'm keeping the Bourne series.. and Blood Diamond.. well, and Star Trek is straight on my computer..

So yeah. Minor incident, but something I think about. Hopefully by the end of tonight you shall see what I've reduced my life things to. Smiles.

Thanks

2010-06-04T15:57:00.001-07:00

Just a shout out to God for being bigger than me.

I just got a phone call from Masha--in the midst of stressful moment (or 5). Timing couldn't have been more perfect, conversation couldn't have been more refreshing.

Still have lots of packing to do, but I've gotten rid of another couple bags worth of things. I would like to introduce a new concept for Biggest Loser: the biggest loser of unnecessary things in life.

The unofficial meet-cute

2010-06-04T00:16:00.000-07:00

We came to Millenium Bridge because we wanted a place to just sit. We had walked all day, or so it felt, and so we rode the bus on 16th street till Union Station. Well, we might've gotten sidetracked because I saw some homeless guys playing chess and I wanted to watch. Oh the enthusiasm of the man when he knew he lost.

He had played rather quickly, with 3 minutes left of playing time. His opponent, hands unsteady, had only 46 seconds left. But the hare moved his queen to the very spot where it could be overtaken, and the match was done. He stood up with a shout. Not angry, but abashed that he'd been beaten again.

I sat on the bridge with Janelle and Lauren thinking about how quickly the game had come to end, and then I remembered that I had brought my juggling balls.

"I always forget that you juggle," Janelle was saying when he walked up.

I was working on making the throw behind the back and had successfully caught the first attempt. It was while picking up the next ball that he entered.

"You're the first person I've seen in this city juggling," he said.

"Oh, I'm not very good," I said. "But if you start juggling, I'll steal it from you!"

So he starts juggling, but then basically throws the juggling balls at me. I reassured that he didn't have to force it, and then we successfully passed to and fro.

"Show me more though," I said.

And boy did he have a lot of tricks up his sleeves. He showed me some things I've seen before, but then quite a few more I'd never come across. He started to teach me, and told me about his roommate who has taught him a lot of tricks so far. It was quick conversation back and forth. The brief history of how we had learned and what we were trying to figure out.

"It's true," he remarked. "It's so hard to learn new tricks on your own. Even slowing down all the how-to videos doesn't work. I've tried."

We commented on how it helps to know someone to teach us.

I asked Janelle what time it was and realized we had to go, but it was nice to meet..

"I'm Luke," he shook my hand. "What's your name?"

I told him and walked off. I couldn't stop thinking about the new things I have yet to learn.

The packing begins

2010-06-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

This morning, it was short lived. I figured that this is my last week with the Sonnenbergs, so I told Noah that when he got his chores done, we could walk to Steamer's together. He came knocking at my door to say he was ready a mere 10 minutes later!

So then we had a nice stroll through the neighborhood where we just talked about all sorts of things. A great time. As I was walking I was thinking about how weird it will be if I have a chance to see this kid later on in life. Like ten years or so. I'll be in my thirties and he'll probably be finishing up with college. Crazy! Then I thought about how there are times when we subconsciously assess whether we're having fun during an event. This was definitely fun for me, but I was also thinking about how much we must choose to have fun or not.

That even amongst strangers and uncomfortable times, it's up to you to decide to make the most of the moment.

But I digress. That was followed up with more discussion on youth ministry with Randy. I think I could talk the biz for hours, and it's cool to bounce ideas and philosophies. I learn a lot.

That followed by my final Bible reading time with Rachel! Ahh!!! I don't want it to end! We read part of Job, and then some of my favorite reads (1 Peter 1, Isaiah 40, and 1 Samuel 13-14). I love that girl so much, and I will miss her deeply!! Any way so we prayed and hung out for a total of 2 hours.

So I got back to the office and tried to finish the devotionals for the Denver Mission Trip next week. To no avail, because by that time it was already 6pm and I had to be at the Hock's for dinner. My oh my that was delicious, and it was a joy to hear Marcus play the piano. I think he might be one of the best that I know.

We played cornball after that, and I got a little competitive. Had a great time (not just because I won, I swear!), because of how back and forth all the games were. I was always against Marcus, and I kept canceling out his points which led to a lot of laughter and frustration. hehe.

'Bout to watch a movie with Marie, but I promise in the morning I'll get to some packing! I have two more boxes of clothes to get rid of, and then I'm going to work to get all my stuff down to two suitcases! Woo! My major problem will be letting go of books, I think...

Finished

2010-05-31T13:02:00.000-07:00

I get it now.

I get why people wake up at the crack of dawn to run marathons.I guess you can say that I've never thought of running a marathon before. I still don't have the desire, but as I ran this year's Bolder Boulder (and praise the Lord for no wind!), I will say I understand the intrigue. But this must also be balanced with the pain. Oh the faces of those that I had passed who had stopped to walked. They looked miserable. And I'm sure I probably looked the worst at mile 3 (my most poorly paced of the miles. To my defense it was an uphill climb).

And I had read about a guy who had completed a 100 mile race, how his toes had turned black and how he lost two toe nails. That kind of thing made me vomit a little on the inside.

Oh, and don't forget the guy on the stretcher.But then there is this thing called endorphins. Almost everyone coming out of the race is smiling. We made it, and we made it together.

That was the intrigue--the sense of community felt for a very individual sport. There was nothing cooler than the bugle call to start us off. There were the runners dressed up: a gorilla chasing a banana, a pacman being chased by a ghost, the girls in tutus, the green spandex guy, the teenage mutant ninja turtles, the dinosaur... Throughout the race, there were the folks cheering us on, offering yummy treats like gatorade, marshmallows, and Kendra's favorite: Bacon.

There we were, all sitting together and enjoying our after-run snacks in the CU stadium. We got to watch even more, the 50,000+ runners, finishing the race. Hebrews 12:1 comes to mind.

(Our fan club Lexi and Reyna who came to support us. Talk about dedication!!!)

I'm just saying I get it. Running long distances isn't easy for me because I grew up as a sprinter. That makes me pretty slow, but I'm simply thankful for finishing the race without quitting. I'm also encouraged to be better at encouraging my fellow teammates (metaphorically speaking) with the long journeys ahead of them. And um.. I love the free snacks at the end of the race!

Spring cleaning leads to a find

2010-05-29T11:02:00.001-07:00

That was probably my most journalistic title. Speaking of journalism, I would like to include this picture:Meet Michael. Throughout my time in Colorado, I have been encouraging him to go to Northwestern. He is valedictorian (one of 18 at RV), highly involved in newspaper, and is just downright funny. He has a fantastic brother in the junior high group, and I work with his dad who signs my checks. Any way, Michael chose Indiana. There is a happy picture of us which I labeled "He is forgiven." This one is entitled, "But we will forever be rivals."

I just include this tidbit of information because while procrastinating from cleaning my room, I noticed that he put this picture as his profile, and it made me laugh out loud.

What I actually intend on writing about, is a cool find from my three months in Nevada, soon after I had turned 20.

I am here as a missionary. I have travelled for three weeks now learning about the culture in Nevada--the culture of slot machines in every nook and cranny, how very few adults are actually from the state, and I am fascinated by the sight of mountains everywhere I turn. Then I remember:

I am here as a missionary.

When I first came, I was reading and re-reading 1 and 2 Peter. These short letters were written to the persecuted Christians. They were to encourage Christians of the time to persevere in doing good. That it was much better to be persecuted for doing what God has called them to do than to be persecuted for doing wrong.

Slaves were asked to continue in full submission to their masters, to "live as servants of God."
Wives in the same way were asked to be submissive to their husbands, who in turn were to be considerate to their wives

These comments, as well as an overall command to love deeply, were meant for our faith. That it may be proved genuine for the glory of God.

But what struck me most was within the first description of those to whom the first letter is addressed. Peter writes, "To God's elect, strangers in the world."

I would read this line over and over and think of my responsibility here as a missionary. I certainly match the description of a stranger. As a child of the sweat tea drinking, non-slot machine, flatlands, south, I am definitely in foreign territory!

The verse that struck me even more was 1 Peter 1:17

"Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear."

Then I thought back to a time where I witnessed to a man in a mall. He worked at a wig kiosk, and I had just felt I should talk about Jesus to him. Sure enough, then and there, he prayed to receive Christ as his Lord and Savior!

The most intriguing part of this experience was it occurred in my hometown, at a mall I shop at somewhat frequently.

Was I a stranger then?

Yes.

Because what makes me a stranger both at my home state and here in Nevada is the fact that I have a Father in heaven watching what I do. He is an impartial judge, and I am here for His glory, not mine.

Even though I know it's not easy living as a stranger when I'm at home, this is to be my call as well as the call for all of you. We are never to get too comfortable in this world, because we are in it and not of it, because we are not here to impress the people. We are here for our Father's sake alone.

We too are missionaries. Here and now, strangers in our homeland.

Holy Smokes

2010-05-28T14:34:00.001-07:00

A bunch of teenagers have officially graduated. Goosebumps, people, goosebumps.

As well as remembering sitting with J.T. Lopez and making sarcastic jokes back in 2004.

Also--somehow got placed in a qualifying wave for the Bolder Boulder. I'm going to die.

Before you consider youth ministry..

2010-05-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

Let this be a warning:

Last week, I scheduled a zoo date with two students for when they got out of school today. On Sunday, J was still able to come, I just needed to check with S. I call S and she says yes..

"Oh wait, I forgot that I'm doing such-and-such."

When I ask her when she's done with that, she says 3pm. Okay, we'll go after.

Also this past Sunday, M wanted to hang out. She said she could only hang out Thursday after school. Perfect, she could join me, J and S. She said I should check if Jo could come. So I call.

No response. I double check (as should always be done I've learned) with J and S one more time about today. Yes, they said. They're still in.

This morning.. before I normally wake up, let's just say that.. Jo says, yes, she can join us for at least a lunch.

Back up. We notice that the zoo closes at 6. Would it be in our best interest to pay X and only be able to stay for 1.5 hours (if you subtract travel time to and from zoo)? Answer: no. We'll just hang out any way, and try the zoo next week.

As I'm driving to pick up M for a lunch before leaving, I get a text from J--sorry, it's her brother's birthday, she can't hang out after all. M texts soon after, "Oh! I forgot I have to get my passport today."

Hmm..

Jo can hang out for a little bit, but has to leave in an hour. That's fine. We'll go to Wendy's. Oops, we both drive to the wrong Wendy's. Which shortens our time together. Sad.

I get ready to pick up S at 3:3o (new time), but then get a text at 3:15. She has practice tonight so she doesn't think she'll be able to hang out after all.

Wait.. if we were to go to the zoo, had S factored in practice at all? Confusion.

The warning is that if you can't deal with flexibility, you can't deal with teenagers (much less most college students). Admittedly, it does get frustrating when you have a limited time. I'm honestly a little frustrated knowing how soon I'm leaving. If there were still six months left, I'd say, typical. Any way, consider yourself warned :P

Surrender

2010-05-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

For two weeks, this has been brewing in my head. When everything happened, it just kind of amazing to me, and I didn't have the words. I probably still don't have the words, but I shall try.

In the simplest of terms, I'm ready to go.

I just finished reading Acts and was talking to Pastor Victor some more about Argentina. He gave wise words of counsel for when I get there, and also offered his (and his wife's and his friend's) home in Bolivia to me, whenever I needed a break. He suggested reading Nehemiah now, as a way to think and pray through the forms of opposition that were/are headed my way.

I recalled how IVN came to 4C's building the week after I was accepted to go. I thought how perfect God's timing in giving me a place to practice hearing, speaking(?), and singing Spanish. Who knew that it would also be a place I'd meet great people like Raul, Marina and Eusebio, to name a few, as well.

Along the same lines, I recalled how I was telling a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile about how I was hoping to go to Argentina, but was waiting to hear back sometime that week. However, he spoke of how crazy I was to choose Argentina after having studied Russian and Hindi. I tried to explain that those places aren't off my list, but that they weren't where I was going now. (I chose to hold back that Lebanon was choice number two--long story). I was confused and even saddened at the discouragement from that conversation, and even started to think over my decision.

I came to a point in prayer with God that said, "You know what? It's okay. If you don't want me to go there, you can take it away."

I only want to go where He wants me, after all.

An hour after that telegraph prayer, as I'll call it, Matt called to say the Argentinian team accepted me. And now within only 3 months, I'm within a couple thousand dollars of being fully supported.

I'm no Nehemiah (just as I'm no Paul!), but I am like them in that I'm just another person that God, for some crazy reason, just loves. I still hold loosely to my travels (to all plans, really), because He could still have me somewhere else. He knows best, and is worthy of the trust. (Insert more journey talk, haha)

The second thing to startle me was the fact that I decided to listen to Francis Chan. I was introduced to his podcast not too long ago, but had been listening to others at the time. I saw a sermon labeled "Surrender," and thought I'd take a gander. The sermon encompassed the call on Francis and his family's life to leave the church to work abroad for a little bit, before serving (most likely) in L.A.

Whoa.

I got goosebumps listening to his wife talk about the unity in their decision. Not that they'd ever pictured going where they're going, or even starting the church to whom they spoke in that moment. It doesn't always make sense. Ahem, it hardly makes sense.

I kept thinking, "Why did I pick this sermon, at this time?"

Some may struggle with God being that personal. For me, I think it's that I've been leaning very hard into Him especially over the last year or so (still with my many failures), that it makes believing He'd speak to me specifically, and you'll have to hear the sermon for yourself probably, seem realistic.

Thinking again of Acts, I love the couple verses I'd never noticed before. They mention how the Lord met with Paul to tell him (sorta) what was happening next. I'll just include them:
Then the Lord said to me, 'Go; I will send you far away to the Gentiles.'

The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, 'Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.'

(Acts 22:21 and 23:11)

How beautiful, no? The Lord stood near. The Lord says to take courage. Through all that Paul goes through, the Lord never leaves him. If that doesn't give you a breath of fresh air, I don't know what to say.

What's also encouraging is the other testing involved in this time of transition. Talking with elders and others who I believe are trying to make sure that I'm going the right direction, has encouraged me. They care about me, and they do not want me to be rash. It is similar to Francis Chan's family discussing the move with loads of people before making a decision. I guess it's helpful to know that a plethora of folks are behind me, standing guard in prayer.

Does this even make sense to you? I dunno. But it has blown me away, among many other things as of late, and I want to hold on to this knowledge for the future. I want to remember what this is like, and I want to press on. That is all.

Highlights of the day

2010-05-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

(Above: what I looked like at 24. For future reference.)

Phone calls from nearest and dearest (family, great friends). Dinner with the Nelsons, Sonnenbergs, Kendra, Randy, Justin and Jess. Over a hundred birthday wishes on Facebook.

Oh, and I just straight up love hanging out with Noah. He is most definitely the little brother I never knew I wanted. He even helped me peel the lovely post it notes from my car. The image of him chasing a few that got away down the street still cracks me up.

Running all the way from Alkire to Wadsworth, and halfway back. Did a few more sprints, but the wind was killer.

Saying goodbye to my guitar as sold to a really cool elderly guy. He said he wanted to start learning how to play, and that he would be praying for my travels.

Chilling at Barnes and Noble just to read and enjoy jazz music, as performed by Standley Lake High School's band.

Watching 24. Keehee to the irony. Not knowing what was really going on, but now I can say I've seen the grand finale.

Finishing East of Eden?? Still deciding..

Tomorrow? Olive Garden with some more church friends!!

Early birthday present

2010-05-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

Huge smiles. :D

Why I liked Robin Hood

2010-05-22T23:47:00.000-07:00

The previews. Matt Damon has been coming up a lot lately, and I hushed the group as soon as I heard his voice for the preview of The Adjustment Bureau. I'm a little sad that it's scheduled to come out after I've left the states, but I'll live.
"Well played."
Thinking of Kathryn after seeing the messenger pigeon. Texting her, and her responding to say she thought the same thing.
Hearing the Gladiator soundtrack.
Normandy?
The end credits. No seriously, the art for that part was fantastic.

Sorry, but not the best Ridley Scott film I've seen, and honestly I'm only typing so I can upload a new video. Goodnight.

"He also made me fast"

2010-05-22T08:36:00.000-07:00

Eric Liddell has been on my mind probably since I popped in Chariots of Fire back in early April. I started running again because I was inspired by the movie. The day I started back up, Kendra invited me to run the Bolder Boulder with her, and I realized how much I had wanted to run that last year, but was out of town. Perfect.

And not too long ago, during a Bible reading time, we were talking about finishing the race. I asked the students, "Why do I run?" After a short discussion we figured upon two main reasons.

1. I run because I love it.
2. I run to win.

Let's be honest, if there wasn't a prize, I'd be less motivated. Even when I talked to a friend from IVN about getting back into running, he stopped to think about whether he would run the Bolder Boulder too. "No, I don't have enough time."

"But you just said you ran for 40 min straight."

"Yeah, but I want to win."

Even though there was a hint of showing off involved in that, I thought it made sense. While personally, I just want to finish this one (I've hardly had enough time to run 6.2 miles fast), it would be neat to win. I can't say I haven't had daydreams about it.

But the purpose of the brief discussion of why we run paralleled a bigger issue: Why do we live? I had recently given a talk about why we live if there was no heaven. I was trying to show that Christianity wasn't JUST about the end goal, but about doing something with our lives right now. The more that I think about it, the more I understand it to be a combination of the two. Jesus, throughout the Sermon on the Mount, gives plenty of mention about reward after all.

Not that we do anything to really earn the reward. Christ in us helps us to live as we should.

I clarify that (though admittedly, poorly), thinking of a character in East of Eden. He's a priest, and he sounds downright self-righteous. What was it he said? "Think how [the Lord Jesus] insisted that we preach the Gospel, help the sick and poor, even lower ourselves into filth to raise sinners from the slime.."

I dunno. Maybe it's that I feel like the priest is suggesting he has rid himself of all the filth of sin. Every time I read the Scriptures, I am reminded of my own wretchedness, my own need of grace. I have to ask, how could anyone be sinless within this world? (Apart from Jesus, that is.)

But that's a sidetrack. Another one was last night at the soccer game. I sat with Mr. Crawford who also happened to bring up Chariots of Fire. He said that whenever he watched his son play, he felt God's pleasure. It is a joy to watch Scott play soccer (to understand how good Scott is, let's just say the other goalie at one time screamed, "Don't let him shoot!!"), just as it is a joy to watch his daughter Kelsey dance. I thought that was way cool of a father to say.

What am I getting at? My joy in life comes from serving students, but He also made me enjoy other things like the saxophone, running, writing, etc. etc. I choose to live for Him in all these things.

2 Timothy 2:2

2010-05-19T21:12:00.000-07:00

I was a little bummed to find out one of the students couldn't make it to a Bible reading time today. Nevertheless, I always love reading with Rachel, and was grateful for some much needed one-on-one time with her as my time here is nearing an end.

On that note, we got to talk about what the study will look like after I leave. I asked her about what she sees me do when we spend these times together. It made me smile when she said that I don't let her off the hook with the tough parts of the Bible. I hope that's always true; I hope I'm making people think more than just giving them candy coated answers, or even just quickly responding with an answer. It's often best to give someone time to figure things out for themselves. She had some other comments and all I could think was, "God, You are so great!"

We talked about the structure of our time, and how it's really pretty fluid.

"I like how you got to know me first, and saw where I was before we just dove into things," she said.

I write this out mainly as a reminder to me. I know there are times when I assume too much--there are plenty of times where I ignore the person. It's true that in relationships we need to build trust first before we can speak into each others' lives. I keep reading in Proverbs about well-timed rebukes and corrections, after all.

We also spent some time talking about the goals of meeting together. I had a couple of big ones, at least for me. I wanted her to fall in love with the Bible by understanding its deeply connected history, and by seeing the fruit from reading it on a consistent basis. Not because the Bible is anything special, but because our loving God makes it special. I also desired for the title of this post to come true. That our reading together wouldn't end with my leaving, but that she could continue reading with others. That they would learn together.

Oh how wonderful it was to discuss these things, and to know whatever happens, I can trust God with it all.

We spent a little bit of time reading the end of Matthew. Both of us talked about how engrossed in the story we were. "Everything is so dramatic!" Rachel mentioned.

It's true. It's a beautiful story, and it's quite amazing to see Jesus pray the prayer (thrice!) for the cup to be taken from Him. I immediately think of the verse in Hebrews that talks about the great high priest who can sympathize with our every weakness.

To make a strange turn, but hopefully still connect, I'm nearing the end of East of Eden. You see, I enjoy it so much, I don't want to finish it, because I want it to keep going. I haven't felt this way for awhile except for two other (non-Bible) books: The Count of Monte Cristo and Jane Eyre. That's when you know something is worth reading--when you don't want it to end. (Or do I simply have the Hansen syndrome? hehe)

And that's what makes the Bible even more amazing. This is our (Rachel's and my) second time to read through Matthew in our two years of reading the Word together. We both talked about how we'll even read it again and get something else out of it. It truly is living and active!

Ahh! I have so much to say, but perhaps I should make a whole other post out of it. This is good enough for now. I'm just so thankful.

Yampa

2010-05-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, Kendra and I had a last hurrah. We spent a day and a half at her grandparents house in Yampa, Colorado. If you ask, "Where is that?" I would say, "Exactly."

On the way to, we stopped at this random place entitled "Spontaneous moment for art." Or something to that effect. It was more funny than cool. But we made the most of it any way.
When we arrived, it was beautifully simple. Here is grandpa staring out the window watching the "exciting" tractors go by as they make a road. At the same time, I enjoyed looking out the window as the weather literally changed every hour or so. Example:

8:15am Wake up thinking, "Yeah I'm going fourwheelin today!"
8:17am Look out the window. Thick flakes of snow flying down. Nevermind..
10:30am It's sunny again! Can we go? Can we go?
10:32am "It's too muddy." All the snow had melted..
11:15am Snow again.
11:45am Snow melted again.
More importantly, I got to shoot a gun. Another should-have-been-Texas experience. It was only a .22, but I was still proud of my second attempt seen below. And it's true that I should have shot left-handed, but that bench you see above, didn't have a seat for lefties. This truly is a right dominated country. Sigh.
Below is the path Kendra and I took on the four wheelers. I had a blast driving through puddles, and we also got to see this large hawk pretty close up before it flew away. Other than still being pretty cold, we laughed and laughed..
Other events of the weekend include playing Turkey Tracks and losing miserably, enjoying a dinner with a youth intern from Germany, and enjoying other pieces of small town life. Perhaps my favorite was the 100-year-old grocery store where, after you had gathered your groceries, you say, "Just put it on my tab." Sweet!

Honestly, I was thinking that their house (with its low ceilings) would be a perfect retreat center. It's so peaceful and simple, and better yet, no internet!!! :D

Hmm

2010-05-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

I wonder if playing the saxophone for Iglesia Vida Nueva is a small glimpse into my future? It was a lot of fun, and it makes me look forward even more to battle of the bands this weekend (Streetlight's song A Better Place, A Better Time is wildly fun!). Any way, just my few thoughts before calling it a night with the Trask and Hamilton families.

Oh, and wow God! An all-around amazing weekend (pictures to come). I especially liked this last part of talking with Crawford and Marie. "For such a time as this," has been feeling so close to home lately!

I am blind

2010-05-13T12:32:00.000-07:00

There's this great song by a local artist. The lyrics go:
I am blind
I am blind,
to Your sunshine..

What's funny is I really don't remember the rest of the lyrics. But these are enough. When I went for my run this morning I just kept singing them in my head thinking, 'God, open my eyes.'

When I came back from the run I realized I had run the full 10k. I'm ready. It's weird. It's too early, right?

Then I came inside and Noah was making a lunch for me. He joked saying, "It's intern appreciation day!" But really he was just doing it out of the kindness in his heart. He made me a bagel with cheese and tuna, a side of cottage cheese, and some vanilla chai. How much I felt brotherly love in that moment!

Entonces, I went to work and checked my mail. The letter I had written to myself a few months ago came in. Before I could open the letter though, I had written Luke 5:1-11 on the envelope flap. So I read.

I remembered how much I am a sinner before Christ, and yet He has forgiven and chosen me. I took a deep breath as I then read the contents of the letter:

Remember God is in control. Remember it's okay to cry. Remember that the God of the universe created you for such a time as this. Whether you're in Argentina in 3 months or whether you're staying Colorado--He knows what He's doing with you. You are no accident, and every detail of your being has purpose. He takes pleasure in you; He delights and sings over you. You are His precious daughter.

You've never had to remind yourself of these things before, but as you write you are hoping it's because the Holy Spirit is moving you. At the same time you recognize that even if these words do not elicit an emotional response, at least these words are true. HOLD ON TO TRUTH. Love, Sharayah.

On the reverse it said: "Where in the world are you going? May the answer always be that you are headed straight for Jesus!"

Praise God for opening my eyes!

Gidget

2010-05-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

This is the last week of programming at church. I find it funny that we planned a luau themed party for the final Fusion, and it snowed in the evening. I'm so glad I wore jeans instead of my shorts and swimsuit as originally planned. But don't worry, I was still decked out in my Hawaiian shirt from seventh grade, as well as my kukui nut lei. It was intriguing all the adults who made sure I knew from what my lei was made. How could I forget? When you eat kukui, you go poo-poo-ey, after all. Ha. I'm still in middle school in my head.

As I researched some ideas for the party, I thought it would be cool to have a Hawaiian themed movie play in the background while we listened to Jack Johnson. I'm all about ambience. And since the Rick and Anita movie featuring Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters doesn't actually exist (sad face), I had to settle for either Blue Hawaii or Gidget. Gidget won in the end because that's what the library could put on hold for me fastest (still waiting for Elvis!).

Here's a reminder lesson. Always, always screen your movies before you show them to kids. Granted, I didn't have the sound on, as it was just a background thing, but still. I forgot about the character dubbed Loverboy. And as I watched it later in the evening, I kept thinking SCANDALOUS!!!

Nonetheless, as I was exhausted post-Fusion, too tired to study Spanish, too tired to read, I did something silly. I watched the entire Gidget trilogy. Initial reactions (other than scandal):

Ah! It would be so fun to learn how to surf!
Hello James Darren!
I have a new vocabulary word: portmanteau. (Thinking of Jill)
Why can't we have swimsuits like hers these days?
It's hilarious that it's a different Gidg every time, but the love interest is the same.
I think I found the inspiration to all of the Olson twin movies..

Any who, I shouldn't have stayed up that late. I'm such a girl. And only a foot past 4'3''. Does that make me? haha. Just playin.

Because of all the late 1950s scandal (even suicide is mentioned! gasp!), I found myself chuckling multiple times. I know I wouldn't show it to my students (EVER), but I'm definitely tempted to see what some of my friends think!

Non-stop one hour

2010-05-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

Uphill + major wind. I was chanting, "Death, death, death.." with each step.

Which made me laugh and then keep going. New prayer request: Bolder Boulder 2010K has no wind.

Another good chant whilst hitting the wall: "And if our God is for us? Then who can ever stop us?" It really works!!

Sufjan Season

2010-05-08T20:04:00.000-07:00

I don't want to be too quick to say it's springtime here. I mean, it snowed yesterday. I think it snowed on Monday too. But May? Snow? I'm afraid to put those two words in the same sentence. As long as it's pretty in a couple weeks (or even next weekend!!), I'm happy. Hmm.. it will be weird to associate autumn with May. It's coming though!

Okay. So Sufjan Stevens. I popped in the Garden State/Sufjan mix that I made from Janna's playlist a few years ago. It continues to be the best driving music there is. Hands down (haha.. Dashboard sneaks in suddenly, but no. I stick to my guns!). Seriously:

Chicago.
Casimir Pulaski Day.
Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois.
The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out to Get Us!

Yes, I have a predilection to a specific selection of his songs. Perhaps because I really like Chi-town. As I was thinking about it today I also realized first hearing about him.

"There's this song, called John Wayne Gacy, Jr.," Tim told me.

We were lying on the tile floor. Knees bent. Almost like we were about to do sit ups in any moment. Tim was the kind of guy that would have done them, to show off. But we were just waiting to be set free.

It was during a game of Capture the Flag in Tech. I played all but two of the quarters of my time at Northwestern. Both of us had gotten caught, and since the jail was in a secluded and easily protected location (I want to say A wing on the first floor), there was little chance of us continuing the game. So we sat and talked loudly because we didn't care. And he introduced me to new music; I'm sure he's still listening to different music.

I later read a short synopsis on John Wayne Gacy, Jr. Disturbing story. It is matched by disturbing, but convicting lyrics by Stevens. I've used the song for a sermon in reference to our sinfulness before, and in general love all of the none-so-subtle messages in Stevens' songs.

Thus, it is Sufjan time. Add an amazing sunset over the Rockies, and I could drive forever.

Ramblin'

2010-05-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Ok. I didn't want to do this, but..

..and I know nothing is going to come of it..

it's just..

when someone prays in Spanish..

he calls to make sure I'm coming..

knows it's me even though I'm a good distance away..

gets water for me when I didn't ask for it..

walks me to my car..

I just can't help but have my heart melt a little bit.

I'll call it a glimpse, and I'll just be thankful. Someday.. someday..

Today I ran 5.25 miles. Not bad after only training for a few weeks. Met with Allison. Stefan was there too. Enjoyed Christy's graduation party (cake!). Hung out with my friend. Watched a little baseball, played a little Rummikub. Contemplating whether I run the 5k tomorrow..

And a student sent me a graduation card. Say it with me, "Awww.." The end is near and I'm both very happy and very sad. Vicky was right when she said I'd be missing my students. Missing them even feels like an understatement. But it is time to go..

I'm reading Acts right now, so it's reminding me of how much Paul was on the move. I'm no Paul (not even by a long shot!), but I'm continuing to see my inability to call a place home. God is my dwelling place.

Also had a good conversation with Him today. I'm constantly finding myself broken, and somehow He keeps taking me in. I love Him. I don't always show this very well, and I keep seeing ways that I take Him for granted. Trying to play the faith card.. He always catches my bluff, and I'm glad I can't get away with it. No matter how stubborn I am a lot of the times.

Sharing is caring

2010-05-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

And the best gift is presence.

Both lines are stolen, but they happen to be what I've been thinking about lately. I'll keep it simple because I need to study Spanish tonight, and I have a really great book to continue. Oh right. I'm also meeting with a former student at 8:30am, a time I don't often see in my line of work :P

Basically, the reason a lot of our friendships get into ruts is because we're not willing to share. Time is the main thing, but gas money is another that I think of. As well as experiences. To revive the mantra from an earlier blog (or two), make the circle bigger.

Secondly, I don't have a lot. But if I show up to stuff, a person feels more appreciated. When people join me in the things I like to do, I also feel loved.

That is all. To keep up with the cliches, short and sweet.

Sundays are a triple threat

2010-05-02T21:07:00.000-07:00

Here's some thoughts for ya:

A coincidence occurs when God chooses to be anonymous.

If over the course of our free will, we freely choose to become a certain person, then the choices we make are no longer a matter of freedom. They are chosen for us. (gulp)

God doesn't ask us to fully understand Him, He asks us to fully trust Him.

Really, we just want to believe in a God who will do stuff for us.

What do I mean by all of these? Sundays are jam-packed. I have GROW class in the morning where I get my fill of older adults pouring into my life (whether they realize it or not). Today we talked about spiritual healing when there are demonic forces at work. This is a tough pill to swallow, so I'll just recommend Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Aaaaand I'll also say that I sincerely believe in spiritual warfare. But perhaps details for that topic are for another day.

I do want to mention that Don Whipple stopped me in the hall after church today. This man is awesome--a WWII veteran who even recently went to a reunion at Iwo Jima. Yeah. He fought there. He was injured and escaped the hospital boat (headed back to America) to continue fighting. He continues to wear his purple heart. Don was also a fellow missionary last year. Both of us were presented to the church about this time last year. I was leaving for Russia, as he was leaving for Costa Rica. I had always found it so cool that we were commissioned on the same day. When people from the church would shake our hands after the service they would look to Don, 70/80ish years old, in amazement, then me, 22ish years old, in amazement (but maybe because they were thinking I was just a teenager, as did half of Russia).

He stopped me to thank me for my comments in class. To which I responded with awe, "No thank YOU! I always love what you have to say!!" Then he asked about Argentina. When I said I was going with Operation Mobilization he said, "Now that is a great outfit."

Oh Don. (to be said in the most Beaver Cleaver sort of way)

Insert brief (yet traditional) Sunday afternoon nap, followed by my time at IVN. And I tell you! Pastor Victor brought word!! From what I could comprehend of course. He was talking about Nehemiah, focusing on the second chapter about how Nehemiah had a plan for the rebuilding of the temple. He talked about the prayers of Nehemiah leading up to the point of telling the king his plans.

The application was that we need to be in prayer, but we also need to take action. He focused on our friends and family that need to know Jesus. He challenged our thinking by saying we can pray and pray for the salvation of our friends, but what if it is us that needs to tell them? And just as Nehemiah had a time in which he would finish rebuilding the wall, we need to challenge ourselves with a date by which we tell our friends. All was said in the most non-legalistic way. It was more a matter of that sharing the good news is the most loving thing we could do!

And then came a short skype call and dinner break. Noah, Alex and I played 2 truths and a lie over dinner which made me laugh. Any way..

Merge. Bebo Norman's song I will lift my eyes comes to mind. We were talking about prayer, primarily the prayers of David in the Psalms. I loved thinking about how raw, how emotionally rollercoaster-like his prayers are. Makes me feel a little more normal. Has a lot to do with being a very small creature in a friendship with a very big God, I think :)

The pastor also talked about Nebuchadnezzar's time of insanity (See Daniel 4:28-37). This part struck me most, because there are times when I'm so self-focused. I don't mean to call on God only when it's convenient, or when times are hard. But I do. The story was a reminder of how much I need to keep my eyes on things above, not on earthly things.

Sunday is a bit overwhelming. Nonetheless, I wouldn't change the routine while I'm here for the world.

Fun-filled evenings

2010-05-01T08:14:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to briefly write down the few fun things I've gotten to do these past few days:

play the saxophone with the IVN worship band.
vacuum (pasar la aspiradora) for two hours (hace dos horas) for money for Argentina!
watch Sherlock Holmes featuring Ironman, I mean Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law.
play soccer till midnight with a bunch of the students.
juggle lots and lots with several of the students.
have dinner with the Sonnenberg grandparents.
finish Proverbs.

I might have gotten a little cold from it all. And I definitely got a bruise from Ben kicking the ball at me. I didn't have shinguards.. Worth it. Now how to spend this Saturday? Hopefully the BodyWorlds exhibit is involved, as well as continuing East of Eden by John Steinbeck. So far so good!

External processor moment

2010-04-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

I find Anberlin to be therapeutic. Almost all of Anberlin's stuff just makes me sing at the top of my lungs again. Kind of like the kid on the link my dad posted on my facebook wall this morning.

In other news, I had a dream. I had a dream that I was back at my first church, but there was a new youth pastor who had parked the church van close to the south side entrance. On his way to moving the vehicle, a motorcyclist rammed into the bumper and sped off. Not to be taken advantage of, the van then sped out of the parking spot and raced to catch up with the guy. When he pulled out, I realized that one whole side of the van was already in shambles (beaten in, holes everywhere).

Then, because he was in such a hurry, he ran into the curb, which caused the front hub cap to shoot off, and the front bumper to come loose. The van was then t-boned by another vehicle, and the motorcycle slid on its own error just a little further ahead in the lot.

It was pure mayhem, and I'm pretty sure that I was just jaw-dropped at the situation. I woke up not too long after the incident.

To be fair, we just had our second evening of demolition night for youth group. Demolition night usually involves destroying fruit and plastic bottles of condiments with a tree trunk for a mallet, but other things are added to the fun. For instance, the potato/apple gun. It was my first time to shoot one of those which I just found funny. First hoe down--Nevada. First potato gun--Colorado. You have let me down, Texas.

Then there's putting fire to things that we've demolished. For Fusion, it was a washing machine that we took a few whacks at with the sledge hammer.

For High Point, we tagged and destroyed a car. Maybe it was my images of this poor, innocent Camry being demolished by high school students that led to my dream. Maybe..

But remember my blog about failure? I was also feeling that. It came as soon as High Point started for some reason. I wasn't really wanting to help out, especially when it came to cleaning up afterward. Participating during was also not in my list of things I wanted to do. I don't know why.

It's with this lens that I think the dream was a non-example. Back in high school when I played volleyball, our coach would give us a demonstration on a certain thing we were supposed to do. If she messed up, however, she would just say, "Oh, that was a non-example."

And this crashing and burning dream is a non-example of how I want to end my time at 4Cs. I don't want to end in chaos. I don't want to end with tearing things apart. I want to build up. I want to encourage. I want to pass on the work as 2 Timothy 2:2 says so beautifully. Simple.

I think maybe I'm scared of the ending too. When I woke I just had to pray for forgiveness and strength. I thought of a verse I've read recently in Proverbs that says to not boast about tomorrow, for we do not even know what comes. Oh how thankful of grace and mercy I've become!

To come full circle:

I can finally breathe.

Suddenly alive.

I can finally move.

The world feels revived.

That's not my name

2010-04-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

It's so interesting to remember my time in Russia, exactly one year ago. Where was I exactly? I don't recall.. but the view from the hotel in Moscow, or the rushing waters of the Gorge in Krasnodar.. the sacred time in the Eastern Orthodox church.. I think of these moments even more knowing that overseas mission life is a full-time existence in the near future.

And I recall my first day of taking my second year of Russian language. Our professor was no longer the American woman who became fascinated by Russian culture in her college years (understandably so). Instead, we had a woman born and raised in the Motherland. She had even attended Moscow University, where my friend Masha currently goes.

"Kak bac zobyt?"

"Menya zobyt Sharayah," I had responded.

With a quizzical look she said perhaps the few words in English we'd ever hear her say the entire year. "Sharayah? That is too long. Tebya zobyt Shura."

Ha. I remember how I didn't have a choice then, and I didn't have much of one when I had gone to Russia for those two, almost three weeks. The women would chuckle to themselves when I would tell them my shortened name. I knew it was a nickname for Alexander, but it was easiest for them to pronounce as well as remember, so that made things better in the long run.

Attending Iglesia Vida Nueva for about the 4th week now, I realized I might be changing my name again. Jose Luis came up to me again to ask my name, and when I repeated it for him one of the students who had also attended on Sunday looked at me. "Sharayah, you might need something easier to pronounce."

Even my friend I've sat in adjacent rows with for the past few weeks called me Sara. As in Sah-rah. He said that he knows it's Sharayah, but this is just easier for him to say. And let's be honest, I've gone throughout this lifetime having people mispronounce and misspell my name and I've been mostly okay with it.

Jesus knows me. And when I head out to Argentina it's not about me any way. I take comfort in this:

Con Cristo estoy juntamente crucificado, y ya no vivo yo, mas vive Cristo en mi; y lo que ahora vivo en la carne, lo vivo en la fe del Hijo de Dios, el cual me amo y se entrego a si mismo por me.

Galatas 2:19-20

2010-04-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

Water You turned into wine

Open the eyes of the blind

There’s no one like You

None like You

Into the darkness You shine

Out of the ashes we rise

There’s no one like You

None like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome and power

Our God, Our God

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

What can stand against?

First of its kind

2010-04-24T17:24:00.001-07:00

It's kind of complicated. You see, I had signed up to talk both on Wednesday and Sunday this week. Little did I know that plans would form for my brother's wedding to occur today. In fact, it just ended. I think that a combination of excitement and wanting to show off is involved with the making of this:

Say hello to my first (hopefully only, but who knows these days), skyped-in wedding. When Dad took the computer around to let me meet people, I met the pastor who said, "Wow--my first eHarmony, as well as first skyped wedding!"

I love technology, but not as much as you, you see...

Say hi to silly Christopher as I took shots from my camera:

Mom's trying to wave, and Mark is looking SNAZZY!!!
Of course, William wanted to get in on the action as well.

Then of course, there's the few pics of the wedding itself. But I'll also include the picture of the dress that I took when she first bought it. It is GORGEOUS!

Placing the ring on her finger.

Look at her smile!!!

Mr. and Mrs. Spicer!!!! (and my weak attempt at taking a screenshot and making it artsy)

What have I done?

2010-04-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned, I chatted a little bit with my aunt Melonia. She was a missionary in Guatemala for two years, so it was cool to hear some of her stories about living in Central America at about the same age that I will be when I live in Argentina. (It is also interesting to note that she had done a short term mission trip in Latvia, while I had done three-ish weeks in Russia--two countries that coincide culturally.)

"Make sure when you get there you take all your pictures right away," she mentioned. Everything sort of loses its charm after awhile. It becomes normal.

She then warned me about the feeling of uncertainty. There's the culture shock mixed with excitement that comes with a new place, but then there's the failed expectations. You don't always realize you have expectations for a place, and it's important to at least have some for wherever you go and whatever you do. But sometimes, things don't pan out the way you wanted.

You ask yourself, "Have I done the right thing?"

"Did I make a mistake?"

Interestingly enough, I had talked just the day before with my mom about what it was like for her and dad to move overseas. Both of them were so excited for the opportunity, but it quickly settled in that maybe this wasn't the best plan after all. My mom said she reminded herself that "This too shall pass," and the worry eventually wore off.

I had felt the same about going to Northwestern. That fall was a major struggle internally, especially after becoming close with people in Texas during my last year in high school. My friendships with them would never be the same, but I have no regrets about choosing Northwestern. Every time I look back at all that I learned there, even with the baggage known as student loans, I think, "That was worth it."

I can't say I had the mindset of "This too shall pass." I think that I just remembered that while my earthly father was 1,000 miles away, my heavenly Father was right there with me. He had shown me some cool things too, in the new friendships I'd made. I have to wonder though, had I not had those friendships, would I still have depended on the relationship with God?

And then I had had the same feelings with going to Colorado. My intentions were to go to seminary in Denver, but when I got here I realized I liked being out of school (and still do), so maybe a few more years of experience might do me well. To be honest with myself though, it probably took 6 months to a year of being in Colorado before I truly felt like it was the right decision. Sure, the outer appearance of things were great--I still love mountains, I love my host families, I love working with the youth group (and learning from my co-workers). But I still questioned.

It's okay to question. God likes questions. He likes it when we're in constant conversation with Him about what we're doing on this earth. That's what makes Jesus so great--He values the relationship with us.

Sometimes He doesn't answer our questions the way we want either. He shows us something different though, usually infinitely better than we imagined. I can't describe it to you, because it's something that you have to experience. Kind of like that blind man who said, "Look, all I know is I once was blind but now I see." Now what to do with that sight...

Maybe part of the answer is that He's much more concerned with the relationship with us than our physical location. Nonetheless, we need to remember (one of my favorite words) that new places will bring on new feelings and new experiences quite foreign from what we're used to. Any time we are out of our comfort zone, we experience stress. If we aren't able to give that stress over to the Lord, then we will certainly wallow in fear. John 16:33 puts it best:

"In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!"

(emphasis added)

More of Nolan

2010-04-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

My weekend in Texas was well spent. Quality time with a lot of the family, a chance to see all of the cousins, and even some time at the church I plan on attending this summer (the youth pastor let me borrow a book I had been eyeing on his bookshelf. Now I have to go back!).

But let's be honest. I really went to see Nolan. The majority of my pictures from the weekend are him, and it's funny because all he really does is a lot of this:
and this:
But it's all so cute at his age! Any way, I had a great discussion with my aunt about missionary life, and I'll write about that the next time I have a chance. Hasta luego!

Me + music = forever

2010-04-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

After attending a concert last Friday night, I began to contemplate how I choose to like/dislike certain bands/songs. It usually has more to do with life experiences occurring while listening to the music, rather than the quality of the music. Usually. The following few paragraphs serve as examples.

My love for ska music takes me back to two important concert moments. The first being the Relient K and Five Iron Frenzy concert with Lucas and Brandon Pinkard. The second being playing hacky sack with Six Foot Midget (local ska band that never made it big), and hoping that one day I'd get to marry the back up guitarist. I was in high school, okay?

Every time I hear the Phenomenon album by Thousand Foot Krutch, I think of my drives to and from Fort Worth, Texas, when I worked for the Fort Worth Star Telegram my senior year of high school. During this time, I also attended the first concert festival by myself and had such a strange experience.

When I hear Sanctus Real, two moments again stick out. The first, being shopping with the guitarist Chris, while at a Youth Specialties (I may have also had dreams of marrying him someday--hmm.. I sense a theme). The second is a more complicated story you may not care about, but I'm going to type out any way.

My first mission trip out of state was in Shreveport, Louisiana. One of my team members was dating a guy from another team (we were divided into teams to repair various houses in the city). She told about how great he was, yada yada yada, but then, post mission trip, they break up. She was devastated, but over time, we lost touch and I didn't hear from her any more.

Then I got my first job. This guy named Jordan worked there, and we instantly became really great friends. Nothing romantic, we just joked around a lot and liked to take our breaks at the same time to talk. Turned out, he was dating my friend from first mission trip! One of the issues with the former boy was that he was too young, so she began to pray for someone older than her and voila--Jordan. To make it more interesting, he's exactly one year older than her. To make it even more interesting, she's exactly one year older than me. We're all born on the same day!!

Where does Sanctus Real fit in? Well, when I left for college, Jordan gave me a parting gift of SR's latest album at the time, Fight the Tide. There's a song on there that he dedicated to me, something to remember whenever I was having a bad day. The album is still one of my favorites to this day.

So back to the concert. Fee played. My experience with Fee began at Dare 2 Share in Denver two falls ago. As in the season fall. They played and my favorite time was singing I Am Free and dancing with Susie and Janelle. Maybe the lyrics aren't as deep, but the moment was unforgettable. There was also a song played at Merge two weeks ago that really hit my heart. When I looked up the song, I noticed it was written by Steve Fee. It wasn't till the concert on Friday that I made the connection.

On the other side, I've experienced praise songs to Jesus that are deep and theological, but are ruined by watching superficiality in the people I care about singing the songs. That's the nicest way I can put it, without sounding too judgmental (I'm being judgmental in case you didn't catch that. It's a stumbling point for me, but I'm trying to be honest).

Then came David Crowder (skipping a few of the bands for time's sake). My absolute favorite time with David Crowder was at one of my first Youth Specialties conferences as a high school student. They weren't as famous back then. We had a night led by them, Chris Tomlin, and speaking by Louie Giglio. Right now my mouth waters thinking about how great that lineup is!

That's when I was introduced to O Praise Him. I go back to that glimpse of Sharayah history EVERY time. It is beautiful. I think of Matt Ryd making sure Lorna learned the piano part for when they played it at Cru. Just for me (everybody say, Awwww). I think of Christmas Conference when it was played, by another band, at midnight prayer time. It's just all around one of my favorites.

They also sang We're Gonna Sing Like We're Saved. Who, of the Lakeland youth group, doesn't think of John Green during this song? Exactly..

The video below is another important one.

With this (originally written by John Mark McMillen), comes my first experience with 4Cs. That is, Mark Poshak and Steve Nelson leading worship. I was sitting next to (at the time) some girl named Kelsey Crawford who said I was a good singer. Psh, you should hear her! And the song has brought comforting memories about the youth group ever since.

Why do we do this? Why do we connect sounds (and sights and smells for that matter) with experiences so strongly? I'm not always sure. There are songs I shouldn't like because of sadder experiences. But I still listen to Jon McLaughlin, certain Streetlight Manifesto songs, etc. with the utmost joy.

Then again, there was one band at the concert that I don't associate with positive memories. I had a hard time listening to them and being open to their lyrically strong music. I dunno. I like 'em, but I can't get over the memories. I know it's not fair to do that, but I also don't know how to stop it.

To end on a happier note, one more memory driven song. The very simple Dance in the River by Chris Tomlin. All of our family had just resolved a fight, which was long and painful, and in celebration, we played Chris Tomlin's album. I just remember singing and dancing to this song at close to midnight, being very thankful for family.

He can make everything glorious, can't He?

Not a surprise anymore

2010-04-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

It started with Tuesday evening. I was praying about Argentina again. I've noticed that the initial excitement has worn off a bit, and now I'm thinking about all of the responsibility that will be involved in my two years there. That's also exciting, but in a different way. A humbling, I-won't-be-able-to-do-anything-without-Jesus, sort of way. I'm really happy that that's true.

And so I was praying that God would show me more. I don't know what, but something to encourage me.

Then on Wednesday, I was flying to Dallas to see Nolan (pics to come). As I waited in the airport terminal I prayed that God would allow for me to sit by someone interesting. Not that no one is NOT interesting, but I guess I was just thinking someone to talk with.

Two guys sit next to me. Within minutes I realize they're speaking Spanish. The accent is different, and yet somewhat familiar at the same time, if that makes sense. Of course, then I'm too nervous to say anything. As Homer Simpson would say, "D'oh!"

But about halfway to DFW the flight attendant makes the announcement for the gates for connecting flights. I noticed that Buenos Aires is one of the connections. Now I just have to ask. And I do.

They're FROM FLIPPING ARGENTINA!!!! Of all the gin joints in all the world. Basic calculations show that the plane is holding at least 150 people. Really?! Can it be true that the only two on the plane from my destination country are sitting next to me? God is just so cool!!

They were visiting Aspen and Vail, and the teenager (16 years old) is a snowboarder. He told me all the good spots for when I go. hehe. Rockies, check. Alps, check. Andes, here I come!! We talked about how I will be working with a church. They immediately asked, "Catolica o Protestante?" I shrugged. "I just love Jesus."

When we got off the plane, the younger one kissed me on the cheek. Adorable. I immediately texted Kendra to tell her about how crazy it was that these two sat next to me. She responded, "It's you. I'm starting to think things like that are normal." lol

Best Moments During Persecuted Church*

2010-04-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

Back in the fall, I was dressed as Batman. The theme was superheroes night, in case you may have forgotten. So I was hiding in the High Impact room in the shadow of a sign. Two of the junior high guys were sneaking in, and to my surprise, one of them came right toward me. I mean, I was looking right at him, and I figured he had seen me. He was about a foot and a half away when I said in a matter of fact kind of way, "Hey Tyler."

He responded by screaming like a little girl and running away. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even chase him.

-----

Then there was the time when I didn't even have a chance to do anything. Brandon just happened to run around the corner, and, not seeing me, knocked me right over. Ouch. But hilarious.

-----

Then tonight I was thinking I could hide by climbing up top a table. As I climbed, I felt something strange on the ground with my foot. I felt around a little bit more with my toe. "Is someone there?" I whispered.

"Yeah, it's me Grayson, who are you?"

I felt so bad because he thought I was another student.

-----

Basically, this game is so fun. It was nice to have one last run before I leave. I know I still have a couple months left, but this was probably the last of Persecuted Church for me. I'm even more happy that a lot of the students had a great time. Even more stoked that I found out about 4 more plan on coming to Denver Mission Trip!! Many prayers are in order for that trip.

*I feel the need to express that the name of this game is not the best (that which we actually call it is probably worse). The theme of the game though is suggesting the need to share the gospel despite life-threatening circumstances, if that helps. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

There's a new post

2010-04-13T09:01:00.001-07:00

It's just further down, because it went along with the Class discussion. I had started it last week, and finished it this morning. Let me know what you think!

peace.

Kite flying at the lake

2010-04-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

Actually, first of all comes the best part of my week--Bible reading (and Slurpie drinking) time at Target with Rachel!

Saw this on the ground and decided to make the most of it.

Cool pattern in the sand.

Spring is slowly a-coming.

We found lots of ladybugs. I'm not that much of a fan of ladybugs, but figured it was a cool picture opportunity.

KITE FLYING TIME!!!!

Noah shows what he can do.

But Asher gets the award for best kite flying, especially because he made the thing.

Commercial break

2010-04-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

The victim. Michael Bowman. The culprits. Kendra and me. Honestly, I was playing to his ego, but for the record, Kendra had introduced the idea. Worth it? You may judge for yourself.. I recommend watching several times in a row.

Also, if you haven't checked out my latest youtube upload, please go take a look. Our junior boys are just too funny, and Christian did a great job of editing. They are the winners of this year's High Point VMAs. I will work to get the other videos uploaded by next week.

Today was TOMS shoes "One day without shoes" campaign. The idea was to raise awareness of those around the world who don't need shoes by striking up conversations as to why we (about a quarter of a million of us nationwide) were barefoot today.

And I gotta be honest, I was nervous. I had two meetings with folks in public restaurant type places lined up for the day. I kind of thought that I would get kicked out or something. But no problems there. I did get plenty of strange looks, and was able to generate a bit of conversation. Maybe even encouraged one gal to buy a pair of shoes! So that's exciting.

It all reminded me of what it's like when you first go and share the gospel with someone. You're a little worried of what the other might think of you. Not like that should be your focus, I know. But mostly you can't help it. I love when you let God move for you though--some pretty crazy things will happen!!

My other thoughts were really putting myself in someone's shoe.. less feet. It got cold in the evening and I watched a baseball game in that weather. How unhealthy it is to be barefoot all day in the cold. And true cold, versus breezy cool Denver evening air.

And while I didn't go many places, my feet are still black on the bottom (I should probably clean them about now huh?). I realized this is because we've paved everything, which actually makes walking without shoes more bearable. Can you imagine what it's like for someone walking in mud, in rocky soil, etc. etc.? Ouch. What kind of calluses must develop. What kind of diseases can enter through your torn feet?

And it's all just a metaphor for the greater news we can share. The news that brings living water and living bread and now.. shoe covered feet!

Talked with Allyson today. Love her. Watched a documentary on the shroud of Turin--still not convinced but it is fascinating. Helped paint s'more in the High Impact room. We watched Crash and I was reminded of the beauty of the movie. Still cried at the scene where the little girl gets shot. Any other details of the day? Oh. Finished my James Dean marathon by watching Giant. Fantastic!!

An interesting Class discussion, pt. 4

2010-04-07T21:25:00.001-07:00

Final part. Just random addendum that I've thought about over the past week.

We spent some time talking about language registers at the conference. The typical vocabulary for middle class is called formal, while the vocabulary for generational poverty is called casual.

How middle class of us, then, to create defining terms? We keep up with the formal language (which has several hundred if not at least a thousand more words than casual) by creating terms that we can understand better.

We versus them, it felt like. When I talked with the students last Tuesday I tried to be sure to point out--one group is not better than the other. Good AND bad come from both groups. The reason for separation in the first place is because of how broken we are. What then is the goal of our working together?

Because Christ gave us the ministry of reconciliation. This is not just between us and God, but between me and you, and between us and His creation (a whole 'nother story, but read Serve God, Save the Planet). Period.

In what other ways did we in this seminar revert solely to middle class thinking? I had asked the group around me, part of a social service group that helps students perform well in school, whether anyone on staff was from a Generational Poverty background. They took a second, and proudly came up with one or two. Then I asked them if any of those persons were involved with the major decision making in the organization. They responded no, and then changed the subject to the score of a baseball game.

I read all of John Steinbeck's The Pearl yesterday. It's only a 94 page novella, so don't think I'm anything special. What I'm trying to get at goes back to the brokenness. The protagonist Kino has the opportunity to break out of poverty because he has found a pearl of great price. The climb out of poverty takes more than that we realize, just like we've learned that we can't just throw money at people to help them go get better.. cough.. Haiti.. cough.

"But the other ways are hard!" we whine.

"Oh yeah? So can you imagine what it was like to turn your back on your own Son's most excruciating death? A death you could have stopped?"

We love because He first loved us. The things we do are a metaphor for what He's already done for us.

An interesting Class discussion, pt. 3

2010-04-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

I would like to start this one off by saying something critical:

I AM JUST AS GUILTY

Whew. So great to get that off my chest. I'm guilty. I'm guilty in how I have treated generational poverty as though I am not one of them. I'm guilty of going in thinking that I'm the savior of their greatest need.

Like this one time when I bought some bread, peanut butter and jelly, and some Gatorade for a guy outside of a grocery store. While I had the best of intentions, I made little effort to know him, or pray for him. And worse, I bought wheat bread.*

Then there was this time a couple weeks ago when I bought lunch for a guy at Taco Bell. I aimed to make sure I made eye contact. Try to help the man feel like a person, you know? I think a lot about how Jesus would not just heal a person, but look at him or her, call them "Son" or "Daughter." To help them no longer feel invisible. But then I ordered the wrong thing because I misheard him (or was I really listening?). And then he ended up making a scene which was the last thing I wanted, for both of our sakes.

How many times I feel like I know what the person really needs. Again, compelled to pray more before going/doing anything. Not that prayer will make me do the perfect thing, but hopefully to make my attitude better within the situation.

Then that pride I had mentioned in the last entry.. how easy it is to become proud of the "good" I've done.

All have turned aside, they have together become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one. Psalm 14:3

All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.. Isaiah 64:6

Just in case it's not clear. All means ALL. Okay, glad we got that settled.

There is nothing good about us. All our righteousness comes through Christ. We strive to do our best, moved by the Holy Spirit. We press on, and don't get caught up on our past mistakes. We learn from them, and we aim to avoid them, but we are human. That's what's so great about Jesus stepping in for us!

I'm guilty of going in thinking that I'm better than the person I'm helping. As if I'm the one to solve their great problems. Problems go much deeper than a missed meal, or being without a job, do they not?

It was good to talk out my thoughts with my mentor today. I was pleased to share about my Fusion students, who participated in a somewhat stretching service project on Tuesday night. I'm not going to tell you what they did, but I'm excited for what they learned during that time. I hope for the best, and I pray for more of a lifestyle of serving. Not because of anything I've done, but because what our Father has already done for us.

*see PBS special People Like Us: Social Class in America. A certain segment follows the debate between white and wheat bread as a class issue. I may not buy it completely, but it is very fascinating.

An interesting Class discussion, pt. 2

2010-04-06T13:05:00.000-07:00

Jodi addressed a very important issue, one that has plagued me since the Connection conference. How do we enter into a mission experience while also being mindful of the dignity of the human beings at stake?

Let's flesh this out some more. Oh dear, no pun intended there.

It is very easy to go on a mission trip, lead a Vacation Bible School, build a building, what have you, then leave. Follow through is ignored, and pride about the previous week's work is felt by all!I heard of a group in Mexico that actually resents the Americans who come in to lead their VBSes with fancy crafts that otherwise could not be afforded, and including all of these white people that kids are more interested in seeing than getting to know. When they want to have their own VBS weeks, no one comes.

We go and build buildings for Mexico, but the people do not take care of the building according to our standards. We get frustrated. Then again, how were the native people invested in the well-being of said building in the first place?

The main question at hand: My solutions to another person's problem are good for me, but how do I seek out the good for the other?

Jodi's example (remember that with her we were talking about class) was an upper class person coming to a middle class family's home and deciding to buy them a housekeeper. "I see you're struggling a little and don't have as much time to keep your home tidy. Let me buy you a housekeeper," upper class person says. She writes the checks for years and years without a thought.

About a dozen or so years later, the upper class person realizes he/she is spending a little too much and would like to make some cuts. Sure enough, the housekeeper for the other person is nixed. But now..

Now middle class family is in an uproar! They have had so many years of having it this way, that taking the housekeeper away is unfair. Unjust.

Now middle class family has a sense of (unjustified) entitlement.

Maybe you've experienced a homeless person looking at the food you offer them and saying, "Oh no man, I don't want that." Wait.. really?!?

Scene three is my observation of the January earthquake affecting Haiti. America throws as much money as possible at the situation. We also send a lot of doctors and helpful people of that sort. I'm not diminishing their work, but I would like to include some perspective. Where were these people before the quake? Haiti was in as much turmoil without the assistance of an added natural disaster. You can just compare the effects on Concepcion, Chile, where an earthquake of greater magnitude didn't cause as many problems for the community. (Not to belittle the still tragic results of that earthquake.)

And thinking back to our buildings, they were probably the only ones left standing in Haiti. Nevertheless, they are still our solutions placed on others.

Jodi added another tough question to all the social service groups in the room. What are your working hours and when are your clients most available? If most of your clients are generational poverty, then they are most free, statistically, between the hours of 7pm and midnight. Hmm..

So let's think of the results of our solutions for others: resentment, entitlement, acting too late.

Something has got to give.

I couldn't help pondering how much the relationship needs to be mutual. We have to remember that there are lessons to be learned from one another. It should never be one-sided. How do we get to that point?

An interesting Class discussion, pt. 1

2010-04-06T11:23:00.001-07:00

I went to an all day seminar on poverty yesterday. I was running late, so I prayed that it wouldn't be a big deal--to my surprise there were 300 people, mostly social workers, attending, so I easily joined the crowd without being noticed.

Jodi Pfarr, from Minneapolis, MN was the speaker, and she did a brilliant job (at least in my opinion) of broadening the discussion on poverty by talking about classes. After all, this is something we can relate to best, whether we realize it or not. We divided the classes for the sake of time, to two main groups:

Generational Poverty
Generational Middle Class

The generational term is included to specify our groups even more. We are discussing people with whom the class label is more than just a one time thing. Nonetheless, after looking to these mindsets more closely, my eyes opened to what might be going on in the mind of a middle class person finding themselves in poverty (especially in this economy!), as well as the effects on the other end of the spectrum, such as a person in poverty winning the lottery.

To begin with, we asked the question that everyone should ask at one time or another: What are the leading causes of poverty?

You kept these answers to yourself, as Jodi brought about four types of research in the problem of poverty. I don't mean to think in lists, but it's the best way to organize for now. The following is a briefly detailed list. Please understand there is a LOT more to each area of research.

Individual Behavior. In what ways does the individual have an affect on his/her poverty level? Are there addiction issues? Did the person choose to go to school or not? Does the person seek out employment?

Community Behavior. How does the community create an environment that continues the struggle with poverty? Has the human and social capital increased/decreased in your neighborhood? Why/Why not?

Exploitation. Most of us think of child laborers and human trafficking. You're right on the money, although there are plenty other areas of exploitation, such as high cost of goods in generational poverty neighborhoods.*

Political/Economic Structure. What policies help prevent poverty? How much does a corporation's money sway votes on such policies?

We were then asked to look at what we wrote down for the main causes of poverty, and to put a number by each cause based on where it fell in line with the above realms of research. For many of us, most of our thinking fell in line with one of the four more than the rest. As I found to be true for me, whichever area of research we thought about more also had to do with what we do with our lives. For instance, I focused on the problems for the individual. My job includes more individual contact than community-based, or political action. It's not that our way of thinking is wrong, but it is that we need to be thinking more wholistically.

So the question is now posed for you. What are the ways in which you can apply all four of the realms of research about poverty into what you do? It's a tough question, but it's a great start.

*For the sake of argument, but also for the sake of understanding, there is an economic issue that should be considered. The cost of shipping goods to cities is higher than in the suburbs (areas often associated with middle class). One reason is that convenient stores within cities need to pay a higher price for security of their stores due to higher crime rates, and must raise prices to compensate for the extra cost.

The giant eastern rebel

2010-04-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

I must admit that my current obsession is James Dean.

I didn't just watch two of his three motion pictures today. I played the saxophone a little, I played a lot of ping-pong with Noah, I played Imaginiff with the family, and I face painted for a straight hour and a half for an Easter outreach at the church.

But I did watch, and fall in love with East of Eden. I enjoyed Rebel without a Cause, but not as much as the other. As a result, I'm guessing a post will come from my thoughts on the character Cal. For now, I will study some more Spanish. Have a happy Easter everybody!

Goosebumps

2010-04-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

When I think about how God works, I'm usually reminded of the small things. I remember Brandon Pinkard (sp?) talking about the hottest week of the year one summer. Yet when he saw a small moment where God obviously did the moving within that week, he got the chills. He got, as grandma would say, the goose pimples.

Today it happened twice. And maybe to others these moments are not so significant. But I have been praying about being able to play in a praise and worship band, especially within the time in Argentina. Playing my saxophone, that is.

So I was talking with Pastor Victor today.. about all sorts of things really.. he's a great guy.. and he offered for me to join the worship team!! I got all teary eyed because I didn't even think to ask. But what a great opportunity, no? A chance to play, and to interact more--force me to use Spanish more--in preparation for the big move? Wow, God, wow.

And then later, I had a hankering for some tortillas and refried beans. How southern of me. Any way, I went with a friend to Qdoba and I noticed the woman behind the counter had a thick accent. I went for the plunge, and had a short, but completely Spanish conversation with her. She said that she moved here recently, and that she was still working on speaking English, although she understands it. She said I spoke Spanish well.

To which, I laughed. But thanked her for the encouragement.

She also didn't charge me for my food. I can say from that simple interaction, I got a fraction more confidence to just speak Espanol mas. No necesito preocuparme. Y pienso debo pedir que ella venga a la iglesia conmigo.

No fooling around

2010-04-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

..this time. Although, I don't expect this post to be very cohesive. As I thought about how it would go while eating breakfast and enjoying the view (hoy esta nublado), I thought of only one thing that was clear:

We need to pray.

Yesterday, I had a fun discussion with Randy about Open Theism and Calvinism. You see, we're about to tackle some of the hardest questions brought against Christianity during High Impact, one of them of course, being the question of suffering. The same question came out in Crusade during our One Question campaign. Every year.

It is hard to comprehend a God that we call good creating a world that includes suffering.

Aside--the suffering we face as Americans is so little compared to the world. I can only hope that because of how small the world has gotten through technology, when people bring up the question of suffering, they are looking at our entire globe's suffering. I do not want to completely diminish the pain we do experience, but I just feel like having a bed every night and at least one meal every day makes us some of the most fortunate people.

It seems the difference between Open Theism and Calvinism is the verb. Does God allow or does God cause suffering? Does God allow for man to choose evil, which leads to the greater suffering? Or does God cause certain suffering to happen because that's the way it will be?

This leads to more questions: What is the ultimate reason for the suffering? No one wants to hear, "This is happening for a greater purpose," or "God is bringing glory to himself through your suffering." Especially within the moment. "Hindsight is 20/20," is another phrase I've heard fairly recently that brings little comfort while facing trials of many kinds.

We brought up examples from the Bible that seems to point to either way. I thought about how we also don't have the history of the other men God could have used, to say, lead Israel out of Egypt, or the other guy (or girl?) that could have betrayed Jesus. I thought about how both the Arminian and Calvinism camp use Romans 8:28 to make their point of free will or predestination.

We see through a glass darkly.

We don't have the whole picture the way God does.

And the problem that every camp faces is that they stick a label on God as to how He works. How can we make such a claim?

But it doesn't mean we stop seeking! It doesn't mean we give up on trying to figure things out! In fact, I would argue that our very life depends on knowing the God we serve. The way we live is affected by our worldview. If we see the world as helpless, we will live hopeless lives. If we see the world as only a holding place for eternal life, we won't accomplish much in our lifetime. To name a couple examples.

I once applied for a youth ministry position in the midwest, and they told me about their worldview. I think they were trying to see if I was in their camp or not. I responded that if God is Calvinist, I will tell as many people I know about Jesus because I want to be in on God's plan to find those He has predetermined. If He is Arminian, I will tell as many people I know about Jesus because I want to give them the opportunity to choose Christ and the salvation He offers.

But I guess God didn't fore-ordain me to get that job. (Insert rimshot.)

Our very prayer lives are affected. When we petition on behalf of someone through prayer, but believe in a God who will only do His way all the time, how will we pray?

Prayer is throughout Scripture with various answers recorded. Could the purpose of prayer be beyond just getting something for ourselves or for someone else? Could it be that God wants a relationship with us, and simply loves when we converse with Him?

How would that affect your prayer life?

The company I will be working for for the next two years (at least) entered financial crisis last year. As a staff, they decided to pray and fast for three days. By the time they returned, all financial problems had been done away with. I wrote in my journal, "I want to be on a team that is willing to shut down their doors for three days in order to pray and fast. In order to hear from the Lord."

Like I said, the main point is we need to pray. Our reasons for prayer need to probably change. The way we view our prayers being answered might need to be altered. Ultimately, we need to pray (and do many other things) as a way to know our God more. It affects the way we live.

Showing off

2010-03-31T20:50:00.000-07:00

Don't you just want to hold him for always??

All in one day

2010-03-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

The day started with an ECard for Janna. She's getting so old!! I'm glad that her birthday comes a day after Nolan's--I will never forget it now. Of course, the card featured Hoops and YoYo, perhaps the best Hallmark characters ever created.Then came lunch, outside, with a student, one whom can use your prayers. I'm so proud of her, as she's desperately wanting to make some changes but doesn't (like all of us) have the strength to change on her own. Pray she believes that God will give her the strength!

Next came ice cream with the staff, again outside because of how beautiful the weather was today. I celebrated by playing the Chase the Sun album by the O.C. Supertones.

And next comes our youth group favorite--ultimate frisbee!! The wind turned our game into rugby/ultimate frisbee. And I brought the juggling balls.. Justin and I had fun stealing back and forth, and then we taught Smiley to join in on the action. Dom was so funny as it was obvious he wanted to play too, but doesn't know how to juggle. So I gave him a few pointers and by the end of a couple tries, he almost had it!

We had a strange cop moment at the park, which made us do a double take. At the end of last summer, some of our students had gotten in trouble by accidentally breaking a tree branch. They love climbing trees. It's okay now, really. But this cop for some reason just started chasing (in his car) after one of our students (in his car) when he had to leave our game early. It was literally the strangest thing. When the student returned, he said that the cop was on his tail for a long time, but then never pulled him over. I don't get it.

Any who, Incognito number two for the year. One student said he saw me about four times, but just thought it was a "regular person." haha. Success!!

Our neighbors were there too, so I found them and they laughed at my disguise. Then I showed off my nephew. Nephew! Such a great word!

William Tell Overture

2010-03-29T10:22:00.001-07:00

I'm an aunt, i'm an aunt, i'm an aunt aunt aunt!

I'm an aunt!!!! I'm an aunt, aunt aunt!!!!!!!!!!

Preparing for the future

2010-03-27T10:19:00.001-07:00

I legitimately almost scored a goal last night. I mean, I've had opportunities before, but I've never felt scoring was as close as this was. It made me chuckle on the inside to hear Mark yell behind me, "HOLY CRAP!!"

And the adrenaline of coming that close lasted the rest of the game. I didn't score. I have yet to score. But if I do before I go, I know exactly how I'm going to celebrate.

Phew! To see how far I've come (even though I'm far from being even remotely good) from catching the ball. :P

Top Five

2010-03-25T23:40:00.000-07:00

I still love High Fidelity. So yet another tribute, top 5 moments of the day (that is, Thursday):

1. Zechariah chapter 3. word.

2. lunch with the Harts.

3. proceeding tea break with Kendra.

4. orange chicken + john cusack + great conversation.

5. reading about the Epiphany feast--why haven't I celebrated this yet??

And as an aside, only Liz will appreciate this, but Drake Bell plays younger Rob in H.F.! I couldn't figure it out till I saw the credits. And now he plays in a Nickelodian show and plays guitar with Hawk Nelson for a song. Oh and some background actor named Jack Black is kind of a big deal these days too. psh.

"God remembers"

2010-03-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

I find the more that I study the minor prophets in the OT, the more I realize how great they are. I'm currently reading about Zechariah's ministry and it simply astounds me. Here are some great verses:

"'Jerusalem will be a city without walls because of the great number of men and livestock in it. And I myself will be a wall of fire around it,' declares the LORD, 'and I will be its glory within.'"

And:
"Many nations will be joined with the LORD in that day and will become my people. I will live among you and you will know that the LORD Almighty has sent me to you. The LORD will inherit Judah as his portion in the holy land and will again choose Jerusalem. Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling."

The temple walls have no boundaries because God's people, through Jesus, will encompass every tribe, nation and tongue. I also love how the LORD is going to be the wall. And not just any wall. A wall of fire. Take that!

Notice too that livestock are included. Mooooo!!!

Here are a couple comments that I've found:
"The prophet's duty is to quiet the people's apprehensions about the state of the world, to provoke their zeal, give them confidence in their great men, and, above all, assure them that God is returned to them and their sin pardoned." ~George Adam Smith

"As churches we are concerned to protect the truth we presume ourselves to possess by setting up restrictive defenses about it. There are not as many divisions, nor is there as much isolationism, among the nations of the world as are to be found within the church. Men and women are not free to come within the walls which each sect creates unless their passports have received the official stamp of approval by the ecclesiastical authorities of that church body. Whatever makes us think we can fit God into the strait jacket of our narrow ecclesiastical concepts? the suspicion will not down that our man-made walls close God out, not in."

Good stuff. In other news, it was seventy degrees yesterday. Today it rained from 3pm to 5:30pm. By 6:30pm it was a blizzard. We celebrated by going to B-Dubs. I couldn't help but think that this would become a "Remember when.." moment, especially after a few donuts in the church parking lot. I mean.. what?

Thing one and thing two

2010-03-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

In honor of the newly formed blog of a friend, I figured a good ole reference to Dr. Seuss was necessary. Plus, I have two things to talk about.
Thing One:
GROW class continues. I missed last week because of daylight savings time. I appreciate the weather, I loathe the lost hour of sleep!

We are in a series about healing, and yesterday discussed the healing we receive through forgiveness. While next week we will cover the human to human forgiveness, this week we stressed God's forgiveness of our sins. It was beautiful! It is beautiful! So let me explain...

It starts with God naming our sin. We probably have never approached it this way before. But for those of us who understand that we are utterly sinful, it makes sense. But to avoid that cop out, let's revert back to the garden. Eve ate of the fruit while her husband Adam stood by and watched. Then he joined.

We have been cursed ever since. If you don't buy that you can read this verse, or you can try this little experiment and test out whether or not sin is inherent. Put two toddlers in a room with one toy in between them. Or maybe you'd like it better if all of your thoughts were placed on a screen above your head for all to see--that thought about that person of the opposite sex, or the thought to say something hurtful even if you don't say it. We have a natural rebellion toward God.

We've been trying to become God on our own ever since that moment in the garden. See Tower of Babel.

Throughout Scripture, God himself, or sometimes through a mouthpiece called a prophet, will tell us where we've messed up. Over and over, He speaks against the rebellion of Israel. In our own lives it seems we have an internal rule book that helps us to feel guilty when we've done something wrong.

The second part to forgiveness is to agree with God. In simple terms, He says, "You, Sharayah, are a sinner."

I say, "Yep. That's me!"

Enter part three. Though we should pause to say that part two is actually very difficult. We are too proud to admit it. We are too broken to think ourselves worthy of God talking to us at all. Some of us use what is called the Shark approach. Say a shark bites you and then swims off. Well, a shark was doing only what a shark knows to do. We like to call ourselves products of our environment; to say that our sin is a result of others. Yet sin is more than this. For one, no matter how much you'd like to quote Elephant Man, you are not an animal. To a degree, and probably to a greater degree than you are willing to admit, you still have a choice in the sin you commit. I still have a choice in the sin I commit (so as to make sure you know I'm not just pointing fingers here).

And if we can't swallow part two, part three is a doozy!

That is, God does what only God can do. He gives us the gift of Christ. If it weren't for Jesus, we would be utterly hopeless. For the religions that believe that Jesus was not God, let us look to the implications of this. If God allowed for a regular human to die as a sacrifice, that would make for an immoral God--One who is not loving by any means!

Indeed, Jesus was God. His death and resurrection verify not only the truth that He is God, but also that He is completely loving. He is gracious to give us something we could never deserve. The history laid out for us in the Bible makes it clear that we are in need of the Savior Jesus. People wonder why the Old Testament is so long, and I think that it has to do with showing us the depravation of man if left to his own devices. It's not just second and third chances that God gives mankind, but hundreds and thousands and millions! See I and II Kings.

Part four then is accepting the gift. The teacher gave the illustration of how he could give a Rolex to someone, but unless that someone actually took the Rolex home with him, there would have been no gift exchange. God presents us with the gift of complete covering of our sins through Jesus, we just have to accept it!

Again, so easy to say, but putting into practice is also quite difficult for most of us. A lot of us, as was discussed at Merge last night, want to clean up our mess first before inviting Jesus into our lives. But ladies and gentlemen, there is no time to wait! We must accept the gift now, so that the next and final part of the act of forgiveness can take place--reconciliation.

Reconciliation means bringing us back to the way we were. And by way we were I don't mean back to innocent baby stages, but back to the way God meant for us to be. In a personal fellowship with Him. I've referred to it before as walking together in the garden again. It may be a funny picture to some, but I can't help but think of Narnia, of the final book in the sequence, and think of all the creatures running back. They can't wait to get there, because that's where they were supposed to be all along!

Questions arise as to why God wouldn't just let us stay there. Why wouldn't He just keep us from sinning? Again, we must think of the lovingkindness of God, who gives us a choice.

We must remember too, that reconciliation is like forgiveness, a process. This short time on earth is something God wanted. I wrestle with this, because it hardly makes sense. But if we are given the ministry of reconciliation on this earth, then there is even more to this life than we know. How do I explain these things?

I can (for the most part. I still have questions), but I won't. You'll just have to discover some answers for yourself. Trust me, it's better that way. I do encourage going to a class like GROW though, a place to talk about these things and better understand them for yourselves.

Thing Two:
I attended Iglesia Vida Nueva yesterday. I figured it was an opportunity to invest more time in hearing Spanish, and to be able to hear in church language. I'll put it this way, it was like when we did Bible translations when I was in college. I had a better grasp on the language when I already knew the subject matter.

A really cool gal named Maria sat next to me. She helped me when I had questions, though I tried just to soak it all in this time. I loved the singing part, and getting to use my Spanish Bible.

How interesting to realize more what full emersion might be like. I mean, it's one thing to go somewhere for two, almost three weeks (like Russia), and to be on a team of English speakers. It's quite another for two years, and to be on a team where we only speak Spanish! Estoy muy entusiasmada! (<--thanks to my Argentina team leader, I've learned this new adjective)

Perhaps going to Spanish speaking church every week, and listening to noventa y seis punto cinco en la radio will help. But there will be nothing quite like only Spanish all the time.

Prayers are more than welcome.

More photo booth fun

2010-03-19T21:20:00.001-07:00

This time with our lovely neighbors, the Anholds! Jenny had come over to make some brownies, and then after all four of us played a couple games that led to dancing. Don't ask me how it happened, it just is uncontrollable!! lol

2010-03-18T22:35:00.000-07:00

Today's quotes of the day comes from Josh Crain's favorite (or at least he mentions him a lot), Greg Boyd. I finally picked up one of his books, which turns out to be letters written between him and his father. His father, for about 70 years of his life, was an agnostic, and the letters are a discussion between father and son about why Jesus works. I'm only forty-four pages in, but it's a quote like this that makes me think this book is a gold mine:

"We are all in the process of solidifying our identities by the decisions we make."

..and along the same lines..

"The more we choose something, the harder it is to choose otherwise, until we are finally solidified--eternalized--in our decision. The momentum of our character becomes unstoppable."

Discuss.

It's already one?

2010-03-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

I have only stayed up this late twice in this month. The first time was last weekend, playing some cards with a friend, and now well.. I'll get to it.

Primero, I got to play the sax again, but you can just read the other blog if you care about that. I also finished one of my books, played a couple rounds of Mario Kart with Noah, and jammed to Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dyin." First American Idol song I own. And mind you it is NOT country, as someone had mistaken earlier. gag.

The rest of today was so cool. Literally--64 degrees when I decided to go for a little walk to meet with Steph at Steamer's. I decided to try walking and juggling at the same time. The pathway to Steamer's doesn't have many people that can watch, so whenever I dropped I wasn't too embarrassed. It helped a lot, as now I have a couple tricks I've been working on down. And since I got there early, I also just practiced outside the building. When Steph came, she joined me and said she had some juggling balls too. We're gonna make a party out of it! haha.

Oh, and on the way was so funny. There are gnats at certain sections of this path. At first it was working to just juggle through them because they would scatter within the half second before I crossed. But then there was this moment where I started to just hold and avoid them (Note: it's always funny to watch people at a distance avoiding gnats. They look a little mad, as I'm sure I did!). At one point I watched them, and quite literally, they were following me!! I aimed my gaze at a good crowd and as I walked, they swooped forward in conjunction with every step.

Swooped!

When I stopped, they stopped. It was unreal.

But pressing on, it was wonderful getting to discuss the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Steph and I looked at a lot of the New Testament scriptures about the Spirit of truth: John 14:15-31; Acts 2; Acts 19:1-12; 1 Corinthians 12-14; 1 John 4:1-6. To name a few. I am reminded of how much of the spiritual realm I don't understand. As I left, returning to the juggling, I thought about the fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians and started a rhythm with each throw/step. Hmm.. I just tried typing out what I mean and I don't think it translates well. Perhaps I should pray for an interpreter (rim shot!). The point is it was cool.

Then I walked to church. About a 3.28 mile total walk according to Google maps. So great! And church was community night, so just a chill hang out time with plenty of mega four square.

After that, I went to Target with Raychel to look for a wrist brace for her. We ended up having to find the right one at Walmart (sad, I know), but then also took a glance at the hair dye section...I'm back to a reddish color (sorry it's hard to see here), as I've been thinking of doing one last time before my trip. I mean, it was kind of hard to resist when it was only $3.27! Maybe I'm crazy. I got to watch Newsies in the process, and have some fun hang out time with Raych. So really, it was worth it.

A great way to spend my momma's birthday if you ask me!

Just a thought

2010-03-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

"The extent to which we know God is the limit to how much we can make Him known."

I don't feel like I can say it better than that. So thanks to whoever said that, because it's got me rememberin' how patient He is with me.

Also--thankful to start filling out my bracket. MARCH MADNESS BABY!!!

Lessons in Cinema part 4

2010-03-14T22:47:00.000-07:00

After the Oscars, I realized there were a few movies I wanted to see. Mostly, I haven't been able to afford seeing many movies, but there is also a desire to not want to be sucked in too much by this sort of entertainment. This year however, seems different. If I were to make a very basic correlation between historical events and Oscar-contending films, I would say that having an African American President directly relates to how much our nominated films cover the race issue:

The Blind Side

Avatar

Invictus

Precious

Inglourious Basterds (you're allowed to laugh, but I'm at least a little serious about this one)

and well..

District 9. I will not neglect the fact that Crash won a few years ago, nor can I neglect how there have been plenty of films in the past that have addressed racism. I am just surprised at the plethora of films grabbing the Academy's attention this first full year in Obama's term.

Any way..

I thoroughly enjoyed D9's half-documentary, half-cinematic presentation, as it flows well with the theme of conversion as a human (spoiler alert!) is turned into an alien by an unfortunate accident. The style flows with the transformation taking place in Wikus' life, as shots become more raw and story driven rather than documentary driven--a style associated with truth.

What a movie to reveal in us our own presuppositions about those we don't understand, even if we are put in their shoes. This is also realized in the second film of the day (which actually came first chronologically):

If you know me, then you know the initial reason for watching this movie :) I will say even for Matt alone, this movie is worth it. Funny enough though, there is a time or two when I thought to myself, 'You know, Jason Bourne would have handled that better.' It must be hard for him to separate that character from the rest of his roles at times.

But onto more important matters. As I'm learning a little more about Middle Eastern culture, I've become a bit more aware of what they view as important. Honor is what makes a person, and shame can bring disgrace to the whole family, not just you. America, on the other hand, is much more of a guilt and innocence culture. We're more concerned with being treated fairly than for caring about what is expected of us. And if one of the family sins, the person is often shoved in the corner (say, sent to rehab?) and forgotten as opposed to the whole family dealing with the repercussions. The Iraqi character Freddy in particular seems to hold true to the mindset that I'm understanding for his culture. I was impressed at how well it was conveyed.

Maybe it's not so much of a surprise to find that Green Zone was more of a political film than I knew it would be, sometimes even feeling a little over the top. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the message to get me thinking again about the war. To think about why we're fighting, who we're dealing with, and the number of human beings involved in it all.

Make 'em laugh

2010-03-11T21:24:00.000-08:00

You know those people for whom it is difficult to get them to guffaw? You'll hear a chuckle out of 'em every now and then, but a good, hearty laugh is hard to come by.

Let me just say, mission accomplished today.

Thoughts on mission work

2010-03-10T13:47:00.000-08:00

When you look up basic facts about Argentina, you find that it is the 8th largest country in the world. You find that it is a country working toward a democracy, and was even flourishing before World War II (well except for a small period that coincides with the US' Great Depression). However, corrupt government officials, as well as periods of military rule, have caused the economy as well as the people to suffer greatly. It is a country that covers almost every major climate and land mass possible. From desert to coast to mountain to subantartic regions (PENGUINS!!) to swamps: it's all there. You find that the people enjoy tea, specifically a kind called mate (mah TAY), and staying up to the wee hours of the morning conversing and dancing the tango.

Roman Catholicism is the dominant religion, but stemming from that, particularly when looking to some of the festivals held in the cities, a Spiritist movement is apparent. Amidst all of this, you also find that Argentina is one of the top missionary sending countries in the world.

For some of us, we think "missionary" as Western people going to a jungle or desert and reaching a people who have never heard of Jesus before. That's definitely part of it, but it's not the only way.

Being part of a very strong college ministry, you start to think that "missionary" means giving up a couple years of your life to reach people in another country, perhaps in a city, and specifically people your age with whom you can relate. That's definitely part of it, but it's not the only way.

Other visions of this M-word appear, most likely stressing "un-reached people groups" and Third World countries who lack water or suffer from HIV. This is a great and necessary beginning, however the reality is our scope needs to be much broader than this. We start of with the Acts 1:8:

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

We must note that the call to witness starts in Jerusalem, where the disciples were already making their home. Some churches have the sign when you leave the parking lot, "Welcome to your mission field"--to which, I've always felt was a little cheesy, but is nonetheless true.

Before any of this witnessing can even begin to take place, we must additionally remember where the source of power begins. The Holy Spirit will lead you, whether while you are ordering a burger at Wendy's or flying across the pond to serve the tribes in North Africa.

If the Spirit isn't in it, then it is nothing. It's like action without love (and if God is our source of love, the power of the Holy Spirit enables us to love boldly), mere clanging on pots and pans.

A note on those who are called to a specific ministry; a requirement of knowing our roots:

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God--that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption." 1Corinthians 1:26-30

Those who follow Christ are called bond servants (thanks to reading from Calvary Road am I reminded of this truth!). Bond servants have no salary, deserve nothing, and are obligated to serve their masters. Not the prettiest picture given to us, but if you couple this with the story of the master over his vineyard, you find that our Master is most gracious. Those who have worked before us will receive just as much as those who come after. We are more concerned about our pay, when we should instead be focused on the great love Christ has shown us!

Where am I going with all of this? Perhaps it threw me (and you?) off to hear that Argentina is sending out plenty of missionaries. Perhaps my own scope needed widening to believe that God put this particular country on my heart for a reason. To believe that all those prayers, the dream, and the other very clear evidences that lead me to going to Argentina was no accident.

This quote struck me from my last book:

"Missionaries should flow ever more freely from and to all six continents in a spirit of humble service. The goal should be, by all available means and at the earliest possible time, that every person will have the opportunity to hear, understand, and receive the good news."

Yes, it is beneficial for countries to have their own workers and missionaries. Yet I look at our own, and I can not help but think that a pair of fresh eyes from a Latin American country or a Southeast Asian one might help the good news of Jesus be more attractive to Americans. Kenya is another country dishing out plenty of missionaries, but extra hands in orphanages will never be a bad thing.

Argentina also happens to be on the rise economically speaking (though I'm currently a fan of the exchange rate). Should I be worried that I won't be getting to serve the poor as much as I had hoped? The books I've read explaining the overall situation for Argentines has only a couple paragraphs and one picture of the slums outside the city. The poor you will always have, I once read, and I actually have a feeling that it's much worse off than it appears.

Then I was again reminded of the caste system in India. There is a great mass of missionaries aimed at the Dalits or Untouchables. Do not the Brahmas and upper classes not need the same grace from God? Admittedly, it is harder, as hard as getting a camel through the eye of the needle. But Jesus soon after says what is impossible with men is possible with God!

I do not feel the need to defend myself, I seek only to address what some people, as well as myself, may be thinking about my next journey. I'm looking forward to more of what God has to show me about this trip. I'm thankful for the time beforehand too, as a chance for more listening and prayer for what He wants to change in me.

Le checklist

2010-03-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

Deactivate and reactivate Rosetta Stone on new computer
Return library books
Breakfast with Chelsea and Rachel
Deposit check
Recycle paper at work (from the mess previously made at home)
Recycle old cell phone
Read 4 chapters in book for staff meeting
Email placement advisor about questions concerning Argentina and support raising
Plan Fusion
Finish "Out of the Comfort Zone"
Finish details for Denver Mission Trip

Pause. Received letter from a new friend in India! Way cool to see the Devangali script again.